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That’s just unrealistic… too few poop breaks.

⁨1029⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨ickplant@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/2588de33-d9c7-4ea0-bb56-f544d6312402.jpeg

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Comments

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  • nutbutter@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    400 emails per week is CRAZY

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    • inmate_p01135809@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I know, crazy low number.

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      • WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Are you being facetious or do you actually have to interact with greater then 80 emails a day?

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    • reader@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      not if its an inbox limit

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    • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      And only 3 poop breaks? Is that per day or per month? As it’s stated, it appears to be for the duration of the contract…

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      • OwOarchist@pawb.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Per hour.

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    • criss_cross@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Not with Gen ai it’s not!!!

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    • cheese_greater@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      80/day

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      • nutbutter@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        😱 what? What kinda cheese you grating bro?

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  • Fandangalo@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    • 48k
    • 96k
    • 192k

    For those wondering

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    • Hawk@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Are annual salaries a typical US thing? Rarely see this here in Europe.

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      • NateNate60@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Most desk jobs in the US are salaried. Salaries are quoted typically in annual terms, although payroll is processed typically fortnightly (meaning salary payments are transferred into your account every two weeks, usually on Thursday or Wednesday).

        The US Bureau of Labour Statistics collects salary data across hundreds of job descriptions and reports this information regularly. Here are some median annual salaries (along with the monthly equivalent in euros) for various corporate jobs:

        • Human Resources Specialists: $75,940 (€5,900 monthly)
        • Buyers and Purchasing Agents: $77,710 (€6,040 monthly)
        • Budget Analysts: $91,640 (€7,120 monthly)
        • Market Research Analysts and Marketing Specialists: $78,760 (€6,120)
        • Paralegals and Legal Assistants: $62,890 (€4,890)
        • Lawyers: $159,670 (€12,410)
        • Securities, Commodities, and Financial Service Sales Agents: $78,660 (€6,110)
        • Real Estate Brokers: $73,220 (€5,690)
        • Billing and Posting Clerks: $48,500 (€3,770)
        • Secretaries and Administrative Assistants: $47,540 (€3,690)
        • Computer Systems Analysts: $105,850 (€8,220)
        • Network and Computer Systems Administrator: $99,130 (€7,700)
        • Software Developers: $135,980 (€10,570)
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      • Darkmuch@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Definitely the most common. Though it is more for showing off how big of a number the salary is. Like the fabled “six figure salary” (100,000+) is a big goal post in many people’s mind. If it’s not salary, we tend to use hourly wage. Though that’s more often for lower amounts

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      • Mika@piefed.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Idk IT in Ireland calc in those, gross salary/year. Cause you can have different taxes depending on your marriage status.

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      • chiliedogg@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Depends on the position. Most people are hourly, but the annual is still used as a shorthand. Salaried workers aren’t paid by the hour, but to get a job done.

        You generally don’t want to be salaried, because while it sounds like you can come and go as you please, most salaried positions have mandatory office hours. So you still work at least 40 hours a week, but don’t get paid for overtime.

        There are laws regarding who can be salaried. The technical term is being FLSA Exempt, and the employee has to make a certain amount of money ($684/week), and have a role that classifies. Examples include executive, managerial (need a certain number of reports to classify), administrative, and highly-compensated employees ($107,432/yr).

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      • BCsven@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Yes, the company I’m at all employees are on a yearly salary. It simplifies accounting because you don’t me d to tally timecards and have unique payroll each period.

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      • Fandangalo@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Yes. People tend to be either hourly or yearly salaried. Some people are per diem. I don’t usually see per month, but maybe that’s more relevant to contract positions.

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    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I mean, 40 hours of work for $48k is an absolute steal in this economy. This isn’t even a bad deal for the employer.

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      • uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Still necessary to quiet-quit at $48K and keep looking for openings in competing companies.

        According to a How Money Works video (a while ago), tech companies stopped paying for training or promoting from within, so employees just started keeping their résumé current, and keeping an eye on openings. As a result, companies actually paid more to fill their middle-management positions than if they kept on promoting from within.

        It is scary just how incompetent top-down companies are at maximizing their profits, especially considering how much data-driven research there is on human resources.

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    • dektep@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      am wondering what this means!?!

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      • baronvonj@piefed.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        the annual salaries

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      • Fandangalo@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Yearly salaries for the listed monthly price

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  • InFerNo@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    The middle option needs to be highlighted with a “most popular” text above it.

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    • Sintinium@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      And premium having a discount for x months

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      • InFerNo@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Discount if you pay the year in advance

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  • solarvector@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    *unlimited email plan will automatically reduce throughput to 1 email/hr when weekly count exceeds 500

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  • OwOarchist@pawb.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    That’s poop breaks per hour, mind you.

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    • diffaldo@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Thats hard work!

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      • adarza@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        not if you’re goin’ that frequently.

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  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You joke, but you’re just describing contractors

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    • boonhet@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Kinda, but usually you’re sorta expected to put in your best effort for every billed hour regardless.

      Instead of laying things out like this, what you can do is bill more hours (within reason) per hour worked to customers who pay less per hour. Gotta be careful with that though.

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      • cRazi_man@europe.pub ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        usually you’re sorta expected to put in your best effort for every billed hour regardless

        Image

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      • StupidBrotherInLaw@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I worked as a consultant for years and yeah, exactly this, and more! One thing knowledge-based consultants do is reuse old work but bill clients for a flat rate instead of hourly. It’s less than paying for new work, but usually much more than the hourly cost if they were billed for just the time required to update the material.

        I recycled old work constantly. For a well-paying, reasonable client, I’d often only bill for the time required to update the work and comp the rest. Last minute, minor updates were free within reason. Penny pinching, uncooperative clients got paid full price and I’d bill the rush rate to the minute for last minute updates. On average, great clients paid less than the ones trying to strangle a deal out of me.

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      • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        That’s a very dangerous game, especially compared to just finding a higher paying single job.

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  • ignotum@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    “emails per week: unlimited”

    Just forward every employees email to him, he’ll handle them all

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    • notabot@piefed.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      He didn’t say anything about dealing with them, that’s an optional add-on.

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  • blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You shit more than three times a day?

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    • Signtist@bookwyr.me ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I don’t, but my boss doesn’t have to know that.

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      • ickplant@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Bingo! Poop breaks are code for “freedom time.”

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    • ickplant@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      You don’t?..

      I need to go see a doctor.

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      • blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        What if it’s one really long shit? Like 24 hours

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      • dektep@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        always assumed people went once per day

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    • MolochHorridus@piefed.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Poop breaks should not go down just because the pay is higher.

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    • DarkDarkHouse@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It’s per hour

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    • VinegarChunks@lemmus.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      My gastroenterologist said that three times a day is too much and three times a week is too little

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  • neidu4@piefed.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I actually offer a free tier for eligiblecorporations: 37.5 hours a week, and no extras. Just sign my ToS.

    I will extract and sell your data. All your data.

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    • TheAristocrat@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Was your ToS 30 pages long, strictly legalese, and filled with confusing and questionable addendums?

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      • neidu4@piefed.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Of course

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  • affenlehrer@feddit.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Smart move not to talk about ads during work. That way you can even add them to the premium subscription at any time.

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    • musubibreakfast@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      “Hi, it’s me your favorite employee Greg. Ever wonder where I go during my second poop break and why the kitchen smells like fish!? Subscribe to Greg Plus to find out! 14,99 per month or save up 30 dollars when you subscribe for the year at 149,99. Use the code #fuckcapitalism to get an additional 10 percent off!”

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  • ickplant@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I can’t find the artist looking on my phone, if someone knows, please share.

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    • Darkna4231@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It’s from @mildnihilist on Instagram/X/Reddit back in like 2022-23? – someone cropped out the artist’s name (why are people like this) DtoCBCNp7LndS2S.png

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      • ickplant@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Thank you! I’ll edit it with your version.

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      • Dicska@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I know a user here that used to do that with every single one of their posts, and their reasoning was that it’s an “ad”. Every time the user was called out for being weird about it they got defensive and called it an ad - only to get heavily downvoted for it.

        It didn’t change much, they kept doing it for a long time. I’ve seen references in their text body lately, at least a few times.

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  • ElChinchilla@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    This meme is pretty wildly accurate to my last pay negotiation. (Tried nicely for 1 year, ultimately had to quit for them to take me seriously, don’t recommend doing this if you aren’t ready and prepared financially.)

    I had the 8 hour day package +1% bonus raise 9 hour 1.1% Until emails stop 2%

    They opted for the cheapest. People are still confused months later why i stop responding at 3:01 PM.

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  • veniasilente@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    So, what happens if you do this in an interview, or attach subscription plan offerings to your resume?

    Asking for a friend.

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    • bdonvr@thelemmy.club ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      You get laughed at and told to get out.

      Now, if you’re an independent contractor you can start doing something like this but formatted a bit more official…

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      • veniasilente@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        So, if more of us start doing it, they’d have to either laugh a lot of people off (at the interview stage, so already pretty deep in nowadays) or eat it and swallow it.

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    • finalarbiter@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Generally speaking, there is a little negotiation you can do around salary and benefits when/if you reach that point in an interview. That said, many companies will give you an offer and you can either take it or leave it. Showing up with a ‘package’ offering like this will get you laughed out of the room.

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      • veniasilente@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Oh if they get uppity I’ll be showing up with a ‘package’ alright.

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  • pjwestin@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    These people look very tired.

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