Do you struggle with reaching nirvana via basic bitch meditation? I have a better way, friend

Comments

• TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Bruh clearly isn’t shitting hard enough

  source
• HoneyMustardGas@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  The clarity for about ten seconds after puking is peak.

  source

  • X@piefed.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Step aside, post nut clarity, there’s a new clarity in town

    source
  • Anivia@feddit.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    No imagine after puking out shrooms

    source
• rounding_error@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I wouldn’t really call ‘hobbled on a bathroom floor’, ‘naked and wet’, and ‘vomiting into a toilet’, “Zen”

  source

  • Gormadt@slrpnk.net ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Fully disconnected from the other. Focused purely on survival.

    What your name is, who you love, what time it is, where you need to be today, none of it matters. None of it enters your mind.

    Raw unfiltered reality.

    The only thought is, “PLEASE DON’T PUKE SO HARD I SHIT MYSELF!!!”

    source
  • daannii@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Didn’t some native Americans have vision quests that were basically putting the body into a state of exhaustion, starvation, and dehydration?

    source

    • schildfrosch@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      tldr of my deleted ramblings:

      ---

      science is good. organized is religion bad and authoritarian.

      however: humans develop closer relationships via religion.

      can there be democratic forms of spirituality? would require self-awareness.

      ---

      damn i guess i’m still high

      source

      • -> View More Comments
• Kalothar@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  many years ago a person I knew was using their phone while throwing up, they also happened to be on acid at the same time and they drank wayyy too much fruit punch.

  They had been attempting to get to the bathroom while looking at their phone.

  It was black and white checkered floor. I wasn’t on acid, so I told my friend to go ahead and to take a shower to cleanup and I’d handle this. This was a reddish brown vomit, looked like a murder scene.

  source

  • ComfortableRaspberry@feddit.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    so I told my friend to go ahead and to take a shower to cleanup and I’d handle this.

    You are a true friend!

    source

    • bstix@feddit.dk ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Friend or not, the first step is to stop the accident.

      This involves removing any fruit juice and acid puking people from the situation so the qualified personnel can clean up the scene.

      source
• diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Sometimes I shit and puke at the same time. Heck I’m doin it right now

  source
• deacon@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  That’s why the neuralink is coming. Think of all the unrealized ad revenue when we’re doing things like sleeping, or puking, or fucking OP’s mom.

  source

  • Gormadt@slrpnk.net ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    vomits so hard I blow a blood vessel in my eye

    banner ad rolls into the bottom of my vision and the voice of my mother fills my ears

    “Pepto Bismol! 2 for $10! Buy NOW for SAME DAY SHIPPING! Blink twice to BUY NOW!”

    “please stop, I’m just hungover”

    a different banner ad rolls into the top of my vision and the voice of Sam Elliot rumbles into my ears

    “How about a bit of the hair of the dog then cowboy. Buy 2 Fifths of whiskey and get a third for free. Buy now and it’ll arrive right when you get off of work.”

    vomits again

    source
  • Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Your mom says hi, by the way.

    source
• Starik@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Don’t blame phones for ruining shitting. Before phones, we had shampoo labels to read.

  source

  • daannii@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    And magazines. Books. Remember how people used to keep books by the toilet and I was always thinking. Ewwwww

    Who does that?

    but if a friend hands me their phone to show me something I never worry if the last time they went to the bathroom they were holding it.

    source
• Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  This is stupid.

  I was reading airfreshener ingredient labels before cell phones were even invented.

  source
• almost1337@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  This sign completely ignores the existence of the Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader and I will not stand for it.

  source
• PattyMcB@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I’ll be taking my phone with me the next time I need to puke.

  There is no god! Lol

  source
• zarathustrad@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I don’t feel blessed

  With the vomit

  In my chest

  I feel like coughing

  Vomit coffin

  Vomit coffin

  Vomit coffin

  Vomit coffin

  youtu.be/5ymSofaKXp0

  source
• Okokimup@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  So . . . Literal shit post.

  source
• SethTaylor@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  If I puke while shitting do I become a god?

  source

  • blackbrook@mander.xyz ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Welcome to norovirus.

    source
  • Fedizen@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    You get the “leaking from both ends” achievement.

    source
  • Cordyceps@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    You become a gargoile

    source
• OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  The moment after puking and the moment after waking up is the same thought: is it over yet?

  source
• tomi000@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Saw this while shitting

  source
• agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  The great sage Han-Tyumi

  source

  • whimsy@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Vomit coffin!

    source
• Grimy@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  It is quite cathartic

  source
• CannedYeet@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  So… Ayahuasca?

  source
• dismay3915@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Nirvana of V O M I T

  source

  • Pat_Riot@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Nirvomit?

    source

    • dismay3915@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      “Something’s in the air… Blugh”

      source
• Blubber28@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Bro that’s what VR goggles are for. Duh…

  source
• Etterra@discuss.online ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I’ve never achieved a Zen state while vomiting. Not from booze, the flu, gastritis, food poisoning, or getting a whiff of Trump dog shit.

  source