zarathustrad
@zarathustrad@lemmy.world
- Comment on Let's set the record straight 1 day ago:
A talent agent sits at his desk. A group of four smurfs walk into his office: Papa, Smurfette two others, and a cat. But they aren’t human. They are three inches tall, skin bright blue, wearing identical white trousers and floppy white hats. The agent blinks. “Alright, what’s the act?” The Papa steps forward, pulls a tiny wooden flute out of his pocket, and starts playing a bouncy, cheerful tune. “Watch this!” he shouts. Suddenly, Smurfete jumps into the air, does a triple backflip, and lands perfectly on Papa’s shoulders. The two Smurfs start doing perfectly synchronized tap-dancing, their tiny white clogs clacking rhythmically on the agent’s desk. Azrael, starts juggling three glowing, magical smurfberries using only its nose. Then, things get really extreme. The Papa stops playing the flute and starts aggressively smurfing right in the middle of the desk. He smurfs all over the place! He smurfs to the left, he smurfs to the right, and then he smurfs right into the mother’s face. The mother looks shocked, but then she turns around and absolutely smurfs the kids! The kids, not to be outdone, begin to smurf each other with total, reckless abandon. It is absolute chaos. Smurf this, smurf that, smurfing up up up, and smurfing down down down. They are smurfing the curtains, they are smurfing the paperwork, and they even start smurfing the agent’s favorite coffee mug. The room is practically overflowing with pure, unadulterated smurfery. Gargamel would be absolutely horrified. It is the most intensely smurfed thing the agent has ever seen in his entire career. Finally, they stop. They take a deep, synchronized bow. They wipe the remaining bits of smurf off their hats, smile warmly, and stand in a neat little line. The talent agent sits there, completely stunned, wiping a stray drop of blue smurf from his glasses. He clears his throat and whispers, “My goodness… that is… quite an act. What do you call yourselves?” The father smiles proudly, raises his hands to the sky, and says: “The Aristosmurfs!”
- Comment on Let's set the record straight 1 day ago:
I hear they will Smurf a Smurf right in the Smurf.
- Comment on Ketamine addict Elon Musk believes puppets are attacking him 3 days ago:
I hope he likes to Hang around train stations with MAnGo Mussolini.
- Comment on The walls have eyes... erm.... ears! 4 days ago:
My router is Opnscence & pihole VMs running on a proxmox host with unbound/DHCP, VLAN segmentation and DHCP snooping on managed switches . YMMV
DNS resolution, split DHCP/DNS roles, and segmented services FTW.
- Comment on The walls have eyes... erm.... ears! 4 days ago:
It is insane that the way I use my TV is to immediately isolate it from the Internet, set up a mini PC running Kodi, and never let the TV make a connection to anything else.
Just wait until the next gen of TVs are “AI ready” running local quantized proprietary LLMs designed to steal your data. Maybe they can fight with my local open weight model running on an old laptop.
Looking forward to the battle.
- Comment on Ok .... so I never stared at his hands. Sorry 5 days ago:
At work we say “Documentation, or it did not happen.”
At home, well the standards are loose, but anyone with poor or abuguous communication is going to be very disappointed with my eventual response. Typically, “Oh, I didn’t realize that’s what you wanted. Next time let me know and I’ll consider it.” No apologies from me for someone else’s poor choices.
If it’s important enough to cause an argument, then some non verbal nonsense was probably not the best way to make the point. Text, email, hand written note, spoken language…
- Comment on meirl 5 days ago:
I really really like that image.
- Comment on Get out of my house, bro. 1 week ago:
Go to the next level and make your admin PW root and your root PW admin, no one will ever guess.
- Comment on laughs in 12 hours, while still driving through texas 1 week ago:
I have walked through 4 states in less than a second. Utah>Colorado>New Mexico
Arizona. USA is so small! Even a baby could crawl it.
- Comment on A figure in black probably 2 weeks ago:
Master Cylinder!
- Comment on As it lays off developers and closes studios, Xbox gets into the movie business 2 weeks ago:
AI sloppy second chances!
- Comment on 👍🏻 👍🏻 👍🏻 2 weeks ago:
Whatever
- Comment on That's very considerate 2 weeks ago:
Wow! A Casino! We should all take a holiday!
Holiday in Cambodia
Where you’ll do what you’re told
A holiday in Cambodia
Where the slums got so much soul
You’re a star-belly sneech, you suck like a leech
You want everyone to act like you
Kiss ass while you bitch so you can get rich
But your boss gets richer off you
Well, you’ll work harder with a gun in your back
For a bowl of rice a day
Slave for soldiers till you starve
Then your head is skewered on a stake
Now you can go where people are one
Now you can go where they get things done
What you need, my son
What you need, my son
Is a holiday in Cambodia
Where people dress in black
A holiday in Cambodia
Where you’ll kiss ass or crack
Pol Pot Pol Pot Pol Pot Pol Pot Pol Pot
- Comment on 👍🏻 👍🏻 👍🏻 2 weeks ago:
Boomer acting like a GenX, in a Gen Z meme!? Whatever.
- Comment on RIP 🚽 2 weeks ago:
Called the plumber, but he is being held by ICE, allegedly. No way to know for sure.
- Comment on Ahh, time for another hard days work of shit posting! *opens lemmy* 3 weeks ago:
"I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming!
- Comment on I demand realism in my POVs 3 weeks ago:
That’s just an extreme close up of the aforementioned tiddy.
- Comment on Morning routine 3 weeks ago:
Baked Beans are back and still want your business.
- Comment on GF loves Disney. Favorite character is Chip from Chip and Dale. Was thrilled to get this picture with him. 3 weeks ago:
That depends are you the kind of gay that finds chips nose “distasteful and/or unnecessary” or the kind of gay that kind of wants to lick it?
- Comment on Recession indicator, what do you call this dish? 3 weeks ago:
It’s the equivalent of: “I got rolling papers, any body got any weed?”
True slacker energy.
- Comment on No Negotiation 3 weeks ago:
That reminds me to go play some Ozzy and Judas Priest.
You think the evil works on digital? The Machine Spirit may over write the analog satanic messages
- Comment on No Negotiation 3 weeks ago:
At least I keep my signal chats private Dad!
- Comment on No Negotiation 3 weeks ago:
And the D&D.
Before that it was just “books other than bible, bad”.
- Comment on Aflac Duck confirmed to have game 4 weeks ago:
Is that the new live action Disney Aristocats remake?
- Comment on Aflac Duck confirmed to have game 4 weeks ago:
Aladdin VS The Aristocats, cummageddon.
- Comment on "I am an ancient nobleman and need some coin made prove to me youre a craftsman that can make quality coin" "check this thing out." 5 weeks ago:
With enough velocity it will still kill you.
Also gather more and heat them up.
“They built copper and iron shields, put sand into them, and heated them over hot fire so the sand became red-hot. By means of some mechanism they threw this sand at those who had fought bravest… The sand penetrated through the armour into the shirts, burned the body, and it could not be helped… they died, going mad with horrible pain, in sufferings piteous and unquenchable.”
- Comment on "I am an ancient nobleman and need some coin made prove to me youre a craftsman that can make quality coin" "check this thing out." 5 weeks ago:
Almost anything is a weapon if you try.
- Comment on 5 weeks ago:
Wait… This site is NOT named after Ian Fraser “Lemmy” Kilmister?
Uninstalled!
Wait… he is also an animal. It’s ok.
“We are worse than animals, we hunger for the kill.” Lemmy
- Comment on We have all experienced this 5 weeks ago:
I have been at my job for 10 years and eat alone 90% of the time. I spend 40+hrs a week with these people, I just want silence and food for 30 minutes.
- Comment on I'm right and the other vegans are wrong 5 weeks ago:
Well they meet at least 1 or 2 common usage definitions.
A very young child; an infant.
An unborn child; a fetus.
The youngest member of a family or group.
A very young animal.
An adult or young person who behaves in an infantile way.
A lover or sweetheart.
Sweetheart; dear. Used as a term of endearment.