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The American Dream (terms and conditions apply)

⁨681⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨gigastasio@sh.itjust.works⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/abb66ea4-4b6b-4861-812a-d5829d5e91d6.jpeg

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Comments

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  • Quacksalber@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Exactly as republicans expect you to.

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    • WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Not until they’ve squeezed every last cent out of you they can with the least investment in maintaining your health possible. Much like any other common, readily-replaceable piece of equipment at your workplace.

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      • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        no, not until they use as cannon fodder for the military, and zionism.

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  • OldChicoAle@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    As a 34 year old, I welcome death. You mean I still need to do this for 35 more years??!! Fucking hell! Why do people like bringing children into this hellscape?

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    • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Well, I tried to report a child that wants to off himself on the 18th June. Everyone is appathetic, no one cares.

      Am I supposed to care about these people who let this happen?

      I’m fine with humans dying out for this reason.

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  • Asafum@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Literally.

    Homemade nitrogen asphyxiation device is my plan.

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    • WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Isn’t that the method used in all those state death penalty executions that kept making the news several years back for not going as smoothly as they claimed it would? You know, the method they switched to when the only manufacturer of the one of the drugs needed for the normal method started refusing to sell it to the USA?

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      • Asafum@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I don’t believe so, it’s the method I’ve heard of that the “suicide pods” use in other countries unless that’s the same thing. Supposedly your body starts freaking out when there’s a buildup of CO2, so if I can displace that with nitrogen and still vent out the CO2 then it should work fine.

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    • backalleycoyote@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      A nice hike into the remote backcountry culminating in watching a sunset from somewhere scenic while enjoying some whiskey and a last PBR, then a shot of the ol’ .44 is my plan. Saves someone the trouble of cleaning up the mess, the hassle of having to hike up there to spread my ashes, and the coyotes get a free meal. It’s a win for everyone.

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      • plyth@feddit.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        remote backcountry

        Good luck traveling with a .44 in a world full of surveilance.

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    • Reginald_T_Biter@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Haha yeah totally like. At this rate we’ve no hope of fat retirement payments at all and even then mid 70s before we get them.

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    • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I have saved a bunch of pills, like bottles and bottles, because I came off a medication but still let it be renewed every time. I’m ready for whenever I think it’s time.

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      • GhostFace@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Hope you know what you’re taking. Taking random pills is a good way to make yourself sick and miserable but fail at actually dying.

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    • mrodri89@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Omg ive also done this research. 🧐

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  • osanna@lemmy.vg ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Wait, yall have retirement plans??

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    • gigastasio@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Yeah! Die. 😁

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      • altphoto@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        This will take a shit long time… unless you do something about it. You could ask for help…but you could also jump at any opportunity.

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      • vivalapivo@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Stop spreading propaganda

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    • Burninator05@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      The goal is to get hurt on the job bad enough for a significant payout but not so bad that im in constant pain for the rest of my life.

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  • jlow@slrpnk.net ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    So my slop-radar dings this one but the only things I can see are the nonsensical third tube on the lower left and the left crane just floats in the air. I hate this.

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    • AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I have the exact same feeling and those are the exact same things i found… theres also the lefts guys pants where theres a line that just gets a bit blurry or something?

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    • DakRalter@thelemmy.club ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It looks like a dreamstime stock image, at least there’s a watermark. Or does dreamstime now expect people to pop for slop stock too now?

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      • jlow@slrpnk.net ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Oh, interesting. I’m pretty sure Dreamstime was one of the first domains I blocked manually to get rid of slop on image searches before I got Ublock lists for that. So that watermark makes me think even more that this is slop.

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    • NikkiDimes@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Each shoe of the left guy are drawn separately. If this wasn’t AI, the artist 100% would have copy pasted them since they’re at the same angle in a flat perspective. AI generated for sure.

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      • jlow@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Ha, this demonstrates another thing I think is very weird, that line in the background that almost lines up with the lines of their shoes / trousers. An artist would either make them line up (weird) or move the line in the background up or down, so they are distinct lines.

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  • theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Entitled 70 year olds want to “retire” when they could be earning value for shareholders till the hour of their deaths.

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  • iThinkDifferentThanU@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I worked with a guy always said 6ft under was his plan for retirement he knew already funny guy

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  • pno2nr@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    …at work.

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  • orlyowl@piefed.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    2MEIRL4MEIRL

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  • undergroundoverground@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Tbf, that is the most cost effective solution for our capitalist overlords.

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    • YoureHotCupCake@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Not if you choose to do a Luigi on your way out.

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      • ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Bring glory to your ancestors, comrade.

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    • mycodesucks@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Not if you do it on a data center construction sight, make it look like a homicide, and stop the construction until the investigation completes.

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  • Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I’ve been thinking about putting a nice poster or painting on my ceiling, so when I die at my desk if I happen to slump backward at least a nice poster will be the last thing I see.

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    • WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Unless you fall forward over your desk. Worry not, though - there’s always the possibility of going with an “out of body experience.”

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  • Doomsider@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I have worked hard my whole life raising a family. There is no way my meager retirement plus social security (if it exists when I retire) will be able to support me with rising costs. That is if I don’t catch cancer or have some other malady. Then I am totally screwed and would be homeless until I die.

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  • Raglesnarf@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I can’t WAIT to retire!!! 😀

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  • BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I’ll take on a metric fuckton of debt and blow it all on having fun and then die so I can stick the bill to the man

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  • Sam_Bass@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    hell dying aint cheap either

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  • leaveWitX@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Death is 😴,i don’t care when i was old.

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  • Fishnoodle@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Suicide or homicide!

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  • Pudutr0n@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Pretty infallible.

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