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The American Dream (terms and conditions apply)

⁨115⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨gigastasio@sh.itjust.works⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/abb66ea4-4b6b-4861-812a-d5829d5e91d6.jpeg

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Comments

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  • iThinkDifferentThanU@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

    I worked with a guy always said 6ft under was his plan for retirement he knew already funny guy

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  • Pudutr0n@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

    Pretty infallible.

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  • Raglesnarf@lemmy.world ⁨20⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

    I can’t WAIT to retire!!! 😀

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  • Quacksalber@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    Exactly as republicans expect you to.

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    • WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today ⁨40⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

      Not until they’ve squeezed every last cent out of you they can with the least investment in maintaining your health possible. Much like any other common, readily-replaceable piece of equipment at your workplace.

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  • Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨33⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

    I’ve been thinking about putting a nice poster or painting on my ceiling, so when I die at my desk if I happen to slump backward at least a nice poster will be the last thing I see.

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    • WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today ⁨30⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

      Unless you fall forward over your desk. Worry not, though - there’s always the possibility of going with an “out of body experience.”

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  • Asafum@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    Literally.

    Homemade nitrogen asphyxiation device is my plan.

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    • WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today ⁨35⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

      Isn’t that the method used in all those state death penalty executions that kept making the news several years back for not going as smoothly as they claimed it would? You know, the method they switched to when the only manufacturer of the one of the drugs needed for the normal method started refusing to sell it to the USA?

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      • Asafum@lemmy.world ⁨31⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

        I don’t believe so, it’s the method I’ve heard of that the “suicide pods” use in other countries unless that’s the same thing. Supposedly your body starts freaking out when there’s a buildup of CO2, so if I can displace that with nitrogen and still vent out the CO2 then it should work fine.

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    • backalleycoyote@lemmy.today ⁨16⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

      A nice hike into the remote backcountry culminating in watching a sunset from somewhere scenic while enjoying some whiskey and a last PBR, then a shot of the ol’ .44 is my plan. Saves someone the trouble of cleaning up the mess, the hassle of having to hike up there to spread my ashes, and the coyotes get a free meal. It’s a win for everyone.

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