Comments

• Mac@mander.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Spend lots
  Go into debt
  Buy successful company
  Load it with your debt
  File for bankruptcy
  Make out like a bandit

  Rinse, repeat

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  • Flower@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    TL;DR: private equity

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  • NannerBanner@literature.cafe ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    You can actually skip step 1 if you want. That’s what they did with toys’r’us. Those actions have long since convinced me anything financial is just a game played by the very rich.

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    • Rivalarrival@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Games have rules.

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• IAmYouButYouDontKnowYet@reddthat.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  It’s this what America is trying to do?

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  • areakode@riskeratspizza.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Buy up everything and then default on our loans? Yup. If they aren’t trying, their incompetence is actually pretty impressive.

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    • IAmYouButYouDontKnowYet@reddthat.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      We are trying to outsource our debt to china.

      Its all games. I don’t thing people that care are ready for how fucked up humanity is going to get. But worse than that, I don’t think many care.

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  • BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Man, no trying, it’s past and present tense now, doing and successfully did.

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• lath@piefed.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Loan was not approved. What now?

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  • notabot@piefed.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Set up a shell company. Set up a trust somewhere with no capital gain tax. Shift ownership of the shell to the trust. As the shell, come to an agreement in principal with the bank to buy it. Use this as colateral to raise a loan from the bank for the purchase amount. Transfer the debt to the bank as part of the merger with the shell company. The bank now basically owes itself to itself. Sell the combined company from the trust, thus avoiding capital gain tax.

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    • merc@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      come to an agreement in principal with the bank to buy it

      I assume this would go as well as Gamestop trying to buy Ebay.

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  • starchylemming@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    take out a smaller loan to bribe the person who appeoves the loans

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  • gigastasio@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Brute force loan application: Keep trying random identities until one goes through.

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  • wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    pulls out minigun from payday 2

    loam approved

    😎

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    • Zwiebel@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Employee is a nerd who knows you don’t have the power cable plugged in

      Loan declined

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  • Rothe@piefed.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Be a billionaire of course. This only works if you are rich.

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  • vane@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Please dad. It’s for good cause.

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  • ashenone@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Set the bank on fire and try the next one

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• Seaguy05@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Isn’t this the exact plan for all private equity acquisitions. The most recent one coming to mind was the fabric store Joann’s. PE came in bought the company, saddled it with their debt used to buy it, strip mined it, and then declared bankruptcy.

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• Etterra@discuss.online ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Good luck with that 1st part.

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  • strop@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    We found the jealous one 🙄

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    • Matty_r@programming.dev ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      “But its for AI”

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• Pacattack57@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  This is unironically what people do. They buy businesses, sell all the assets, pay themselves exorbitant bonuses for having a profitable quarter from selling all the assets and then sell the business. After someone buys it it’s like a 60% bankruptcy rate post sale.

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  • TomasEkeli@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    And then other businesses that have “too good” numbers buy those failing businesses and let them go bankrupt to use as larger write-offs and get tax rebates.

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• ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  It’s not actually ridiculous in principle.

  Let’s say I start out owning a bank with ten billion in assets, and the bank’s value comes entirely from its assets so it’s worth ten billion.

  The bank loans its ten billion to you, and you pay me those ten billion for the bank. Now I have ten billion in cash instead of a bank that was worth ten billion, and you have a bank worth ten billion to which you owe ten billion. No one’s net worth has changed.

  You default on your loan to your own bank. Now the bank is worthless (its worth came entirely from the loan) and you have no debt, so your net worth is still zero. Effectively nothing has happened.

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  • mech@feddit.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    But now you can lobby the government to bail out your bank using tax money.

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  • merc@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    The bank loans its ten billion to you

    A bank that’s subject to government regulation isn’t going to do that unless “you” have billions in assets to justify that kind of sale.

    and you pay me those ten billion for the bank

    And surely you report that sale on your taxes and pay the relevant taxes, right?

    No one’s net worth has changed.

    Except you, once you’ve paid your taxes.

    You default on your loan to your own bank.

    Ok, so “you” missed the payment. Now what? You think “you” can walk away cleanly? Declaring bankruptcy to wipe your debt is only something that’s available if the government provides that kind of mechanism, and generally that’s only available to people who have otherwise followed all the rules, which wouldn’t include buying a ten billion dollar bank when they had no assets.

    The only way this scenario works is if you ignore all the laws. But, if you’re ignoring the laws, why not just make it simpler and simply steal the bank’s assets?

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    • davidagain@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Sweet of you to think that people this rich typically pay their taxes.

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    • ptu@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Geesh, your point made me think that it wasn’t an actual career path

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  • zr0@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Except that there is also value from other clients and from the brand, which is then helping you to actually earn money

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  • gegil@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Is capitalism real?!?!n1?

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  • marcos@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Effectively nothing has happened.

    A lot of people lost a lot of their money and got their lives destroyed. Also, the previous owners liquidated their shares.

    But yeah, you haven’t got any richer.

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  • stickyprimer@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    nothing has happened

    Right, which is why it’s not some hero-swaggers-triumphantly maneuver. That’s the ridiculous part.

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• stickyprimer@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  But the banks is worth $10 billion less.

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• callyral@pawb.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  step 1: buy a money factory

  step 2: profit

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• webghost0101@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  1. aquire money trough established capitalist social network

  2. Buy a successful small businesses with employees included.

  3. Run it trough the ground to extract all profit and value of to recover the money used to buy it

  4. You barely made money on this but you are “famous company” and they where just an obstacle. The real money is made on the bigger board.

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• superweeniehutjrs@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I feel like the closest real thing is a leveraged buyout

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• Chee_Koala@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Image

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• OttoVonNoob@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Ahem, you skipped a few steps but ya your close to it. youtu.be/x9P-pYGu_ws

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• FoxtrotDeltaTango@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Noncredible economics

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• CaptainBasculin@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Disco Elysium 2 situation summarised in a meme

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• ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Load all the computers onto my truck. I’m starting a new ebay store.

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• PattyMcB@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Step 5: Profit

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