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plump pumkins

⁨466⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨fossilesque@mander.xyz⁩ to ⁨science_memes@mander.xyz⁩

https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/6442c7ae-085d-4aad-ab5d-ab6fdde23ec5.png

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Comments

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  • robolemmy@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    C’mon, how did you miss the obvious: plumpkins?

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    • fossilesque@mander.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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      • fossilesque@mander.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        fixed.

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  • hperrin@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Well, I doubt they can get larger than earth, so I’d say it’s somewhere between 3,000 lbs and earth’s weight.

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    • spankinspinach@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Unforeseen twist: Earth 2.0 is a pumpkin.

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      • Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Do we push the billionaires onto the pumpkin or do we all go on the pumpkin?

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      • titanicx@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        The earth is a pumpkin.

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    • Illecors@lemmy.cafe ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Someone has to do the maths on the best possible nutrient, water and solar energy ratios required by pumpkins. Maybe pumpkins win!

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    • pyre@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Earth’s weight?

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      • hperrin@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Mass. Whatever. :P

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  • SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    We just have to feed the pumpkins a steady diet of americans and we could hit the 2 ton mark here soon.

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    • OpenStars@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Naw, all the toxic chemicals would then kill the pumpkins! (see e.g. radioactive Wal-Mart shrimp)

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    • Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Where are we gonna find 4 average Americans!

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  • shalafi@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Time lapse video on those things are a trip. They expand noticeably by the hour.

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    • AyuTsukasa@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I love the can for scale.

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  • Bubbaonthebeach@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Are they still edible or just enormous garbage and waste of resources?

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    • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
      [deleted]
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      • WolfLink@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        You have to gut the inside to make a jack-o-lantern, and I think I remember my mom cooking with that gunk from inside at least once or twice.

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  • Busyvar@jlai.lu ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Unfortunately giant pumpkin taste pretty bad,

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    • dreadbeef@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      we’ll have to test that theory with a massive pumpkin pie and pumpkin and cream cheese roll

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    • drosophila@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Suppose the pumpkin plant could be bred or genetically engineered to retain its desirable taste even at very large sizes.

      Would this even improve the caloric yield per acre? Or would the bottleneck be the available energy from photosynthesis? In other words do giant pumpkins take a proportionally larger amount of leaf surface area, such that you’re not actually getting any more pumpkin mass per acre than with many smaller pumpkins?

      As I understand it normal pumpkins are already pretty high up there in terms of caloric yield, so perhaps there’s not much more room to push it.

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      • RecallMadness@lemmy.nz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        It might be more efficient per acre, but it’s less efficient per person-hour.

        As the weight goes up, the stress on the skin goes up. But the skin doesn’t go any stronger.

        So you need to feed, support (literally) and manage them round the clock to control their growth and stop them from splitting and allowing pests and bacteria inside.

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  • dumples@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I saw one of those around 2000 lb pumpkins. They are a beautiful sight. I want to grow one but I know I don’t have the space

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    • Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Holy fuck, I just looked up the record. Not what I was expecting at all. It looks like one of those 700 lb. people who can’t roll off of their futon. Even the underside is shockingly similar.

      Image

      Image

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      • SillyDude@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Every year in Oregon people cut holes in giant pumpkins and race them as boats.

        !

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    • The_v@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I probably should work on getting the bush type plant mutant into the giant pumpkin germplasm again.

      The first tests were had a 400lb pumpkin into a 8’x8’ plot. They split and cracked however.

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  • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Fuck you, don’t tell me what I know, The Atlantic.

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  • janus2@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    this is lobsters all over again

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  • RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    jack o lantern carved with a large sawz-all blade.

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  • Contramuffin@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    How does that work? Selective breeding? Fertilizer? Growth hormones? New growing techniques? What is it that’s allowing these pumpkins to get bigger and bigger?

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    • JasonDJ@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Giving farms water for practically free while private citizens have to buy it in bottles from the store because the water is either laden with e.coli or just…not there by the time it gets to them.

      3000lb pumpkins aren’t something to be proud of. They are trophies of gluttony.

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      • 0tan0d@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Your mixing commercial farming with enjoyment selective breeding. The 3k lbs pumpkin is only grown in a couple of plants. Anything growing too slow is removed ASAP and put in a compost pile. Its just a fun way to enjoy the growing season in the middle of bum fuck no where.

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      • Soulcreator@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I’m not an expert in the whole giant pumpkin phenomenon, but it’s my understanding that the pumpkins are generally grown by hobbyists for fun rather than farmers on an industrial scale. So I don’t think it’s a trade-off on our food system, where kids are starving in Africa because farmers are wasting their resources growing pumpkins. I think it’s more of an, “look what I did” type thing.

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      • BartyDeCanter@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Sure is a good thing that you don’t have any hobbies that use any resources whatsoever otherwise you’d seem awfully hypocritical complaining about someone with a checks notes gardening hobby.

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  • icelimit@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Pit them against the lobster church.

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  • ouRKaoS@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Memory unlocked, lol:

    🎶

    Decomposing Pumpkins!

    Throw it at that plump kid

    Because his mom did

    Not give us good candy on Halloween!!

    🎶

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