[deleted]
I hate to break it to you, but that’s a male spider and you’re gay.
[deleted]
Submitted 11 months ago by Samdell@lemmy.eco.br to greentext@sh.itjust.works
Comments
gramie@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 11 months ago
And this story is real, so it is Real AND Gay!
MrLLM@ani.social 11 months ago
I’ve run out of AND. Best I can do is:
(Real NOR Real) NOR (Gay NOR Gay)Comment105@lemm.ee 11 months ago
I’ve never heard of such a thing. Is it really possible?
morphballganon@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Without a pic how do you know
baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de 11 months ago
smell
Tracaine@lemmy.world 11 months ago
He’s going to let a spider crawl on his penis in the name of gooning isn’t he? I really want off this ride.
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Whatever, more for me
Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 11 months ago
It happened long ago. Closer to you than you think
Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Bro, if it bites him he will get a spider dick that shoots webs.
Outwit1294@lemmy.today 11 months ago
My dick already shoots white sticky thing
Comment105@lemm.ee 11 months ago
The Spiderbro thing should have never started, now see where it has gotten us.
qyron@sopuli.xyz 11 months ago
Loneliness affects people. And as gregariois animals we are, the closest possibility to connect, in any form, is taken.
latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 months ago
Y’know… as lonely as I can get (and I get pretty lonely), that mosquito munching on my forearm is still getting a firm slap.
qyron@sopuli.xyz 11 months ago
Fight malaria when you can!
FooBarrington@lemmy.world 11 months ago
markovs_gun@lemmy.world 11 months ago
This is one instance where I’d say I’d actually prefer if he had an anime body pillow or real doll he was forming this sort of unhealthy attachment to.
Captain_Baka@feddit.org 11 months ago
Least weird greentext I have been reading for a while.
Zagorath@aussie.zone 11 months ago
I had a daddy longlegs in my bathroom for a while. My bathroom exhaust fan broke so the room would get super steamy, and I think the poor spider drowned, because it had clearly died in that spot, hanging from my ceiling.
I still feel a little sad about that spider-bro.
CitizenKong@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Probably didn’t drown but might have gotten infected by mold. There’s a reason spiders prefer dry places.
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Look, everyone tries to fuck shower spider at some point. It’s a rite of passage
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 11 months ago
What a freak!
Just fall in-love with AI like a normal person.
(I can’t even do that, I literally can’t see AI as people)
Outwit1294@lemmy.today 11 months ago
Maybe you are just AI phobic bigot!
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 months ago
I know I have hidden spider bros because I haven’t seen a single insect in my apartment in several years.
It’s just the fact that I haven’t seen any spiders in a while that makes me worried that I’m gonna lift something off the floor and see thousands of them or some shit lol
Pringles@lemm.ee 11 months ago
It might be centipedes. Those guys are apex predators of their microcosm.
Jakeroxs@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
I heard a song about that once
bathing_in_bismuth@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Spider-bros are the best. I hope one day I can have a trained jumping spider sidekick on my shoulder.
LainTrain@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
Zeppo@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Basically the Yukihiro Takahashi song “Grand Espoir”
Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 months ago
I feel so much more normal for just saying hello to my shower spider now.
FreshLight@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Be careful, though! This is the first step towards what anon describes!
SARGE@startrek.website 11 months ago
My shower spider gets a reminder of our deal.
“You know the drill. You stay up there, I stay over here, nobody has to be injured today.”
Sometimes the spider decides to come over to my side and gets flushed or squished, but they knew what was expected of them.
ApathyTree@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
I have one of those who knows her place. She’s been there for probably a year now, and I don’t feed her so she must be doing something for me.
She briefly had a friend of the same species set up shop on the other side of the shower. That one didn’t get the memo and decided to wander all over the place while I was showering, breaking the pact. That one went down the drain. The other is still there, months after that event.
RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Real talk: people that save spiders and make it a moral thing confuse the heck out of me.
Like, if you were the spiders size proportionally to the spider, it would web you up and suck your blood for being in its home…
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Shower spider wants to watch you touch yourself
MBM@lemmings.world 11 months ago
I do the feeding thing, but mostly because it feels wrong to kill a mosquito and then just throw it in the trash
Comment105@lemm.ee 11 months ago
Why don’t you people kill and dispose of spiders in your home?
Tonava@sopuli.xyz 11 months ago
TommySalami@lemmy.world 11 months ago
They typically leave me alone, and eat the other bugs that don’t leave me alone.
qjkxbmwvz@startrek.website 11 months ago
Because I can trap mine in a jar and take it outside instead.