HONK 👁️🫦👁️
Honk at me again you long neck fuck, see what happens.
Submitted 3 weeks ago by Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/fedc6d6b-f427-40d8-849a-9fe79d487408.jpeg
Comments
Cris_Citrus@piefed.zip 3 weeks ago
pjwestin@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
When I was in college, Canandian Geese were all over the park outside my apartment building. They never got out of the way, shit all over the grass, just made a mess of the place. One night, my neighbor came home a little tipsy, and when a goose got to close to him, he slapped it on the back. Not enough to injure it, but he definitely startled it. For the rest of the year, the geese cleared a path for him whenever he came through. I guess word got around in the goose community that he was not to be fucked with.
janewaydidnothingwrong@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
*canada geese
pjwestin@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
That can’t be right. That feels like when Republicans say, “Democrat party,” instead of, “Democratic,” because they think it’s some big insult or something. (For the record, I’m sure you’re right, I just think it’s dumb.)
tkk13909@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
Genuinely can’t tell which one is supposed to be the goose in this situation
FluidBeef@quokk.au 2 weeks ago
Pretty sure it’s the purple one.
Bubbaonthebeach@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
Why are you abusing the local wildlife?
Telodzrum@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
No, it’s a canada goose.
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
MrShankles@reddthat.com 3 weeks ago
RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
These birds have absolutely no sense of self-preservation.
TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
collapse_already@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
One tried to attack my son when he was about 6 while we were walking in a park, not particularly close to where it started. I reminded it of which species eats the other species by kicking it in its stupid bill. It backed off. I was prepared to kill it.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Tell me you’ve never encountered a swan without telling me you’ve never encountered a swan.
Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Those necky cunts can catch these hands toom
REDACTED@infosec.pub 2 weeks ago
I honestly don’t understand this comment. Are they supposed to be dangerous? I’ve encountered angry swans several times and it has always been funny. They can’t do shit to you, unless you’re like 30kg child. Sure, they bite, but even the bite isn’t that bad in comparison to (quite common) dog attacks.
InputZero@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Seen a few swan and goose attacks, heard from a few friends. A goose literally can not hurt you, a swan can bruise you up pretty good. While yes an adult vs a swan the adult wins it’ll hurt a bit. If that’s something a person can handle is a totally different subject but a full swan attack will leave a person bruised.
Iceman@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
BooBees@fedinsfw.app 3 weeks ago
Spoken like someone who didn’t grow up around geese. Those fuckers can break a human leg bone or arm bone with their wing. Not even remotely kidding. They’re fear by most animals for good reason.
Varesti@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
This was written by a goose.
Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Weak ass bones if a 10 lb bird breaks em.
LycanGalen@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
From this popsci article: “Bird wings may not seem all that threatening. After all, like most other birds that fly, the bones in goose wings are hollow. But because geese can weigh up to 25 pounds, the muscles in those wings are incredibly strong. They have to be to lift such a heavy bird into the air and carry it hundreds of miles at a time during migration.
So you really don’t want to be pummeled by those wings—they can quickly knock down a full-grown adult and cause scrapes, stitches, even broken bones. All of these injuries have been reported after goose assaults.”
realitista@lemmus.org 3 weeks ago
Really would love to know how a hollow bird bone is meant to break a human bone.
HerbGrower@slrpnk.net 2 weeks ago
It scares you and you fall over. Trying to put your hands out to save you and break something in the fall.
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Those fuckers can break a human leg bone or arm bone with their wing
That’s an urban myth about swans.
In reality, the bones of both swans and geese are hollow like straw and about as likely to break human bones.
Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 3 weeks ago
No they can’t lmao what?
thebestaquaman@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
They’re feared by most animals because most animals (humans included) aren’t willing to risk a fight unless they need to, while geese have a solid intimidation game, and make to believe that they’re big and strong and will fight you.
A 5 kg dog can also scare off plenty of people. That doesn’t mean an average grown person can’t punt it across the yard if push comes to shove. Plenty of videos out there show what happens when one of these animals actually goes after someone’s kid… the kid usually ends up fine to put it that way.
HerbGrower@slrpnk.net 2 weeks ago
Had a few dogs come after me. The difficult part is I would rather not hurt a dog, it is the owner who deserves a punch in the face.
Usually happens when I am on a bike which is a bit of an awkward position to respond to an ankle biter. I don’t want to run it over but I also don’t want to stop moving away. Of course if I had to I could flatten it with my bike.
rudyharrelson@lemmy.radio 2 weeks ago
A gøøse once bit my sister
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
They kan be pretty nasti
BetterDev@programming.dev 2 weeks ago
No realli! She was Karving her initials on the g00se with the sharpened end of an interspace t00thbrush given by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian m0vies: “The H0t Hands of an Oslo Dentist”, “Fillings of Passion”, “The Huge M0lars of Horst Nordfink”.
NuanceDemon@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
How fucking big are your geese?
Nothing near me is anywhere near that hardcore.
BevsDad@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
I could see a swan fucking you up but a goose? No way unless you’re shoving your fingers down its mouth.
Iceman@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Your talking a lot of shit for some one with hollow bones.
Obnomus@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
Don’t kill the goose 😭
Bluewing@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I love geese. Roasted, smoked, grilled…
imvii@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Geese are mostly harmless. They can give you a little pinch, but that’s about it. I never understood why people are afraid of them.
I was lucky enough to spend a couple of years around a flock and they’re really cool animals. They even remembered me when they returned in springtime. Geese are awesome.
Godric@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
When I was a child, we had chickens. Once, when I was five or six, we had a rooster who would chase me out of the yard when I went outside to play. Seeing this, my father held me over the chicken pen as I kicked at the rooster with my little cowboy boots, but the rooster didn’t learn.
So he equipped me as a knight, and sent me with a broomhandle sword, a winter coat, and safety glasses to do battle. I fought him from the lowest dip to the highest hill, the Rooster of Cruelty, until I at last I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the hillside.
Never again did he trouble me, and never again shall I let poultry tyrannize me! Ever again shall I ride to war against the avian, fair or fowl; thus is my vow.
DirtPuddleMisfortune@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
My grandad had a rooster that always used to attack me when I was a child. One day, Grandad saw him chasing me, grabbed it, put it on the chopping block and chopped off its head. Then he threw it on the floor.
It got up and ran towards me again. Just before it reached me, he finally collapsed.
I still think about it quite often.
MrShankles@reddthat.com 2 weeks ago
Fuck… I might think about that quite often now, too. Holy balls
aaa999@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
actual evil dead shit
ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Is this Brennan Lee Mulligan?
bss03@infosec.pub 2 weeks ago
I think it’s Zac from Earth two, where his “Knight’s Concerning Oath” in started with rooster instead of goose.
Axolotl_cpp@feddit.it 2 weeks ago
I need someone to draw a comic of this
MehBlah@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I’ve seen worse plotlines in movies lately.
thebestaquaman@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Pure poetry <3
comador@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Later that night you ate him for dinner and it was delicious I bet.
source: Former Rhode Island Red Rooster Punter.
MBech@feddit.dk 2 weeks ago
Reminds me of a rooster we had when I was a kid. My grandfather was watching us one evening while my parents were out. He’d told them that when feeding the chickens, if the asshole rooster was to jump him, he’d kill it kinda jokingly.
When they came home that night, the rooster was plucked clean in the sink.
Iloveyurianime@ani.social 2 weeks ago
Has shakespear been reincarnated into the modern world?!