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@collapse_already@lemmy.ml
- Comment on Lord, I was born a scramblin' maaaaan 2 days ago:
I looked out the window and seen his bald head,
Ran to the fridge and pulled out an egg
Scoped him with my scopes he had no hair
Launched that shot and he was caught out there
- Comment on [deleted] 1 week ago:
AI prompt was probably “draw Hillary, but make her as fat as Donald.”
- Comment on Anon experiences summer love 1 week ago:
Someone needs to tell him. If you can get a mosquito to bite you on muscle that you then flex. They can get trapped. They can be overfilled with blood to the point where they burst.
- Comment on Swifties wasted no time... 1 week ago:
Somewhere Howard Dean is wondering how the fuck he was too unhinged to be electable in the face of daily insanity from the orange.
- Comment on Why Do People Still Play Destiny 2? 2 weeks ago:
I have been playing it for 6 years. The gun play is great. It gets regular updates. I still have fun. I wish the pvp player pool was bigger so that match making would work better.
- Comment on "Concord servers are now offline. Thank you to all the freegunners who have joined us in the Concord galaxy" 3 weeks ago:
I don’t think this game even lasted long enough for word of mouth to have popularized it. I didn’t hear about it until it was dead. I am wondering how many players Helldivers 2 had at 11 days (not a great example because it was an existing IP with existing fans). Could they have made it if the game had actually been good? I am not sure. Shutting down super fast got them more publicity than anything else they did.
- Comment on Anon doesn't like reddit 3 weeks ago:
I use it less and less. I only really visit two sub reddit, and one of them has been really declining as it has grown.
- Comment on Animals that use Drugs 4 weeks ago:
I am not sure if I am scared of a high jaguar or want to pet it. Maybe both?
Jaguar to his buddy: “Dude, I was so baked I let a hairless monkey pet me. I got the munchies though, so I ate him.”
- Comment on Anon drives a bus 5 weeks ago:
Meanwhile, TSA: no water bottle for you. Bring a cell phone, laptop battery, and a spare 20,000 mAh backup battery (of dodgy provenance no less)? Sure no problem.
- Comment on Are there any video games in the Warhammer universe that are actually good? 5 weeks ago:
We are the mailed fist of the Emperor!
- Comment on FTC effort to ban noncompete agreements for employees rejected by federal judge in Texas 5 weeks ago:
Ah, so here we have it. The Supreme Douches chance to bring back Lochner (freedom of contract trumps (verb choice intentional) basically everything else, but especially human decency).
- Comment on Hail our true supreme leader 1 month ago:
The photo of him saluting the N. Korean general is real. We don’t even need to fabricate this kind of material. If we are going to fabricate it, Trump’s service should be more explicit and x-rated.
- Comment on What Can a City Do When Neo-Nazis Start Marching Down Its Streets? 1 month ago:
Loudly ask why mass shootings happen to decent people instead of these scum. Play videos of the bombing of Dresden and the executions after the Nurnburg trials to remind them about what we do to Nazi fuckheads.
- Comment on a or b 2 months ago:
A gang. Does that mean I am old?
- Comment on Or meet and cheese 2 months ago:
Charcuterie- making Lunchables high brow food for adults.
- Comment on When was the last time you made Jello? 2 months ago:
I made Jello late last year to eat while fasting for my colonoscopy. I’m 50. Sometimes I make it when someone in the house is sick.
- Comment on What's the worst hacking scene from any movie or show? 2 months ago:
On opening night at the theater, my friend shouted, “Shut up! No you don’t!” When this line was uttered. Made the scene much more memorable for me.
- Comment on I guess that yellow part is where 'destroy your furniture' is located. 2 months ago:
One of my cats has a much bigger murder section than the other. Her brain is probably about 30% murder and 30% food. Oddly, she is substantially thinner than the other one who is not very food or murder oriented. The porky one is mostly nap - probably 60%.
- Comment on PSI 3 months ago:
It was a German Shepard mix. I definitely felt like I was fighting for my life.
- Comment on PSI 3 months ago:
The cat was my pet probably 20 years ago. He jumped on the table and landed on a plate of barbecue sauce, so I had the bright idea to try to give him a bath to wash it off. He didn’t like baths.
The dog was probably 37 years ago. I was around 13 or 14. The dog was attacking a neighbor kid who was about 6 years old, so I was intervening to save the kid. The kid got away and my yelling attracted the dog’s owner’s attention. Not until after I got bit. It was some kind of German Shepard mix. My parents and the parents of the six year old reported him to the police, but nothing really happened. I think the owner was a cop.
I hated that dog. He was usually on the other side of a big fence and would bark super aggressively whenever anyone was near. When I intervened he had the kid’s head in his mouth. I kicked him in the ribcage as hard as I could, and he turned on me.
I got stitches from both incidents. Four for the cat bite and I think 12 from the dog. Cat was on the hand near the base of my thumb. The dog was on my right forearm.
No stitches for the hamster, he was a pet, but not very domesticated- probably because we had cats in the house too. I was probably about 8.
- Comment on PSI 3 months ago:
I have been bitten by a cat that meant it and a dog that meant it. I would rather be bitten by a dog. The cat hit bone. The dog did not. The hamster bite bled profusely, but otherwise wasn’t too bad. Based on the information in this comic, I am going to avoid birds.
- Comment on A compromise 3 months ago:
Is there a name for this disorder? I have it too, but I just suffer in silence.
- Comment on Maybe hot take: as a handheld, the regular switch is an awful handheld 4 months ago:
The Joycons were an absolute disaster and ruined the portable experience. I got 4 of them repaired. When they inevitably broke again, I gave up and bought a pro controller. Precariously balancing the Switch on your lap or setting it on furniture so you can use a pro controller is not a handheld. Still had lots of fun with the games on it, but the experience should have been better. Nintendo has building controllers for decades, you would think they could at least begin to approach competency.
- Comment on Caption this. 5 months ago:
In a world in which cats do not have legs or claws…
- Comment on Dell finding ways to absolutely suck as an employer 6 months ago:
“Dude, you’re getting a Dell.” guy. Early 2000s Dell commercials. I guess some people liked them or were at least annoyed when Dell pulled the plug on them.
- Comment on HP sued (again) for blocking third-party ink from printers, accused of monopoly 8 months ago:
I had an HP laptop in the early 2000s, the hard drive crashed (my wife set some mail on top of it and the mail had a large advertising magnet in it). I bought a replacement. When I opened it up, the hard drive connector was HP proprietary. A replacement drive from HP was $475 for the same size that I paid $80 for an industry standard drive. I bought a replacement laptop instead and have been warning people against HP for the last 20 years. Many people come to me for IT help (entire extended family), so I am sure I have hurt HP some. Their printer drivers are the biggest bloatware crap too. Absolutely scum company.