The cops can watch it, copy it, sell it on the dark web, pass it up to their bosses, use the panopticon to find the kid in question, hunt them for sport, black bag them, rape them, force a confession through torture, and then throw the kid into the serial sexual assault wing of the state prison for 30 years.
Pro tip
Submitted 1 month ago by InterestingUsername@lemmy.ml to [deleted]
https://lemmy.ml/pictrs/image/386037a8-babd-4e56-bcea-b776747e604b.jpeg
Comments
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 1 month ago
binux@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
I’m just imagining someone saying this in response to OP’s joke at a party and this is the (natural) response
lobut@lemmy.ca 1 month ago
whenever I see the reaction on the girls face I feel embarrassed but when I look at the guy’s face … I don’t know why I can’t help but laugh.
jaggedrobotpubes@lemmy.world 1 month ago
…which would be a crime so yes not a counterexample but still yes you can of course say those things if you like.
ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
The investigation found no evidence of wrongdoing.
flandish@lemmy.world 1 month ago
history has shown that there exists a cohort of folks the concept of “crime” does not apply to.
GeneralEmergency@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Don’t get in the way of Lemmites trying to be edge lords.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 1 month ago
But I’m still technically innocent lol
abbiistabbii@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 month ago
That’s where your wrong, they hire people to do that.
lime@feddit.nu 1 month ago
commit crimes?
abbiistabbii@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 month ago
Ironically, yes!
Oisteink@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Not legally, but yeah, you can hire minors to do your crime.
But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world 1 month ago
If you kill a guy right at daylight savings and go home. You’re not lying when you say you were at home at 2am
MajorasTerribleFate@lemmy.zip 1 month ago
In the vein of threads about genies that fuck with your wishes:
If you kill a guy right at daylight savings and go home. You’re not lying when you say you were at home at 2am
Picked the wrong direction of daylight savings time, so instead of rolling back to 1am it went to 3am.
OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 1 month ago
What if you’re an adult but you just strap naked minors to your body?
Wait, no that would raise other issues I suppose.
ayyy@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
They legally can’t stop you if you declare that it’s an official action.
homes@piefed.world 1 month ago
Funny you mention this. I attended an all guys boarding school in the 90s.
If there existed WebCams and the Internet, I would be a gay porn billionaire.
Instead, I just have a lot of very fond of memories, and then knowledge that there is no such thing as a straight man
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 1 month ago
homes@piefed.world 1 month ago
Meh. Had a great time, that’s all I know.
RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip 1 month ago
The truth is sometimes men are just too horny to care about whose hole or tongue it is.
homes@piefed.world 1 month ago
Or just too lonely
Fedizen@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Look its not gay if you say “good game” afterwards. Then its just lads winding down.
Sir_Premiumhengst@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Nudity is not pornography… But, say, you were rubbing one out while robbing a store…
napkin2020@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
Rubber rubbing robber
tias@discuss.tchncs.de 1 month ago
Says who? Certainly not the law.
qwertyasdf@feddit.uk 1 month ago
Almost down voted but realised its shitposting. You may have my upvote
muusemuuse@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
Incorrect. Only poor people cannot watch the footage.
db2@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Also known as an Epstein island audition.
umbraroze@piefed.social 1 month ago
…dunno how this works in other parts of the world, but here in Europe they’d try you as a minor and seal the evidence - which they’d do whether you’d be naked in security footage or not. It just doesn’t matter, they’d examine the evidence as a part of the proceedings nonetheless!
bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 1 month ago
In civilised countries minors can’t commit crimes anyways.
cattywampas@lemmy.world 1 month ago
What does this mean
ImgurRefugee114@reddthat.com 1 month ago
In civilizated countries, it’s illegal for children to commit crimes, so they can’t.
lime@feddit.nu 1 month ago
in civilised countries children can’t commit crimes. anything and everything they do is automatically legal.
GhostFace@lemmy.today 1 month ago
You can do a lot of things as a minor as long as you keep receipts. And I guess as long as they’re someone who isn’t wealthy.
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I don’t think this is explicitly illegal anywhere, but related laws can be interpreted to make it so. Judges have a LOT of leeway in this area, so much so, the “kid” could be a legal adult, and also fully dressed.
Prunebutt@slrpnk.net 1 month ago
Just claim that it’s actually generated by Grok! /j
SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip 1 month ago
Where I live, nudity is not by itself considered indecent, so this would not be true.
So, be sure to rub one out during the crime.
pulsey@feddit.org 1 month ago
they called him the rubbing robber
Bratosch@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Nananananananana BEATMAN
LodeMike@lemmy.today 1 month ago
In the U.S. at least a naked child isn’t obscene. Also if they masturbate on camera the police and courts absolutely can still view it.
merc@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
If what OP said was actually true, then it would make investigating child porn cases nearly impossible. Someone does have to watch the footage to determine if a crime was committed, and often the people who have to do that end up having major mental health issues as a result.
WoodScientist@lemmy.world 1 month ago
If a minor is provocatively nude in front of a surveillance camera, could they be prosecuted for production of child pornography?
Lemminary@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I wouldn’t be surprised, tbh.
Themosthighstrange@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Hence why the nudist colony of all ages can be naked together. Its completely legal