The cops can watch it, copy it, sell it on the dark web, pass it up to their bosses, use the panopticon to find the kid in question, hunt them for sport, black bag them, rape them, force a confession through torture, and then throw the kid into the serial sexual assault wing of the state prison for 30 years.
Pro tip
Submitted 2 weeks ago by InterestingUsername@lemmy.ml to [deleted]
https://lemmy.ml/pictrs/image/386037a8-babd-4e56-bcea-b776747e604b.jpeg
Comments
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
binux@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
I’m just imagining someone saying this in response to OP’s joke at a party and this is the (natural) response
lobut@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
whenever I see the reaction on the girls face I feel embarrassed but when I look at the guy’s face … I don’t know why I can’t help but laugh.
jaggedrobotpubes@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
…which would be a crime so yes not a counterexample but still yes you can of course say those things if you like.
ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
The investigation found no evidence of wrongdoing.
flandish@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
history has shown that there exists a cohort of folks the concept of “crime” does not apply to.
GeneralEmergency@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Don’t get in the way of Lemmites trying to be edge lords.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
But I’m still technically innocent lol
abbiistabbii@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
That’s where your wrong, they hire people to do that.
lime@feddit.nu 2 weeks ago
commit crimes?
abbiistabbii@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
Ironically, yes!
Oisteink@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Not legally, but yeah, you can hire minors to do your crime.
But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
If you kill a guy right at daylight savings and go home. You’re not lying when you say you were at home at 2am
MajorasTerribleFate@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
In the vein of threads about genies that fuck with your wishes:
If you kill a guy right at daylight savings and go home. You’re not lying when you say you were at home at 2am
Picked the wrong direction of daylight savings time, so instead of rolling back to 1am it went to 3am.
OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
What if you’re an adult but you just strap naked minors to your body?
Wait, no that would raise other issues I suppose.
ayyy@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
They legally can’t stop you if you declare that it’s an official action.
homes@piefed.world 2 weeks ago
Funny you mention this. I attended an all guys boarding school in the 90s.
If there existed WebCams and the Internet, I would be a gay porn billionaire.
Instead, I just have a lot of very fond of memories, and then knowledge that there is no such thing as a straight man
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
homes@piefed.world 2 weeks ago
Meh. Had a great time, that’s all I know.
RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip 2 weeks ago
The truth is sometimes men are just too horny to care about whose hole or tongue it is.
homes@piefed.world 2 weeks ago
Or just too lonely
Fedizen@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Look its not gay if you say “good game” afterwards. Then its just lads winding down.
Sir_Premiumhengst@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Nudity is not pornography… But, say, you were rubbing one out while robbing a store…
napkin2020@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Rubber rubbing robber
tias@discuss.tchncs.de 2 weeks ago
Says who? Certainly not the law.
qwertyasdf@feddit.uk 2 weeks ago
Almost down voted but realised its shitposting. You may have my upvote
muusemuuse@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Incorrect. Only poor people cannot watch the footage.
db2@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Also known as an Epstein island audition.
umbraroze@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
…dunno how this works in other parts of the world, but here in Europe they’d try you as a minor and seal the evidence - which they’d do whether you’d be naked in security footage or not. It just doesn’t matter, they’d examine the evidence as a part of the proceedings nonetheless!
bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 2 weeks ago
In civilised countries minors can’t commit crimes anyways.
cattywampas@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
What does this mean
ImgurRefugee114@reddthat.com 2 weeks ago
In civilizated countries, it’s illegal for children to commit crimes, so they can’t.
lime@feddit.nu 2 weeks ago
in civilised countries children can’t commit crimes. anything and everything they do is automatically legal.
GhostFace@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
You can do a lot of things as a minor as long as you keep receipts. And I guess as long as they’re someone who isn’t wealthy.
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I don’t think this is explicitly illegal anywhere, but related laws can be interpreted to make it so. Judges have a LOT of leeway in this area, so much so, the “kid” could be a legal adult, and also fully dressed.
Prunebutt@slrpnk.net 2 weeks ago
Just claim that it’s actually generated by Grok! /j
SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip 2 weeks ago
Where I live, nudity is not by itself considered indecent, so this would not be true.
So, be sure to rub one out during the crime.
pulsey@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
they called him the rubbing robber
Bratosch@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Nananananananana BEATMAN
LodeMike@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
In the U.S. at least a naked child isn’t obscene. Also if they masturbate on camera the police and courts absolutely can still view it.
merc@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
If what OP said was actually true, then it would make investigating child porn cases nearly impossible. Someone does have to watch the footage to determine if a crime was committed, and often the people who have to do that end up having major mental health issues as a result.
WoodScientist@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
If a minor is provocatively nude in front of a surveillance camera, could they be prosecuted for production of child pornography?
Lemminary@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I wouldn’t be surprised, tbh.
Themosthighstrange@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Hence why the nudist colony of all ages can be naked together. Its completely legal