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talking to my dad about depression

⁨678⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Samdell@lemmy.eco.br⁩ to ⁨greentext@sh.itjust.works⁩

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  • wowwoweowza@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I hate to be the old dude in these conversations — but yeah… sometimes you just fucking deal. 90% of my life is depression, suicidal ideation, and intrusive thoughts. Ten percent is that I’m the life of the party, the fun guy at work. Honestly, in meetings, when it’s been dark, execs turn to me and say, “Wow, silver lining?”

    And I deliver.

    So… I don’t complain. I raise a family. I exercise. I see depression as the norm. Why would I think anything else if it is all I have ever known?

    And yet of course there are the brief moments of satisfaction when I am doing service for others — which is how I see my work, which makes my life meaningful.

    Cure for depression? Ain’t one. But there is service, which is the cure for meaninglessness.

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    • doingthestuff@lemy.lol ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      People are generally missing service in their lives. Thanks for the comment, from another old guy.

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    • distinctivecoffee@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      You can get meds for this. If you’re on them and this is where you’re at, I’m sorry. But I was like you. I could function.

      Then I needed meds for something else, and they stuck me on Wellbutrin, which can be perscribed to address depression or my other issue.

      I came back to the doc and she asked if it had helped with my other problem. “Nope, but can I stay on?”

      “Why?”

      “Uh, turns out wanting to be hit by a bus isn’t normal, and I had just assumed it was, and had no idea I was dealing with that constant mental hellhole until it went away.”

      She let me stay on the Wellbutrin.

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    • malware@lemmy.zip ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I wish I had a family, maybe life would be worth living.

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      • Sculptor9157@sh.itjust.works ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        You can make a family with friends and neighbors and helping out some organizations/volunteers doing things you care about. As you surround yourself with folks who share your interests, the family aspect takes shape.

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      • wowwoweowza@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Where are you doing service?

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  • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    During the pandemic quarantine, I took up the guitar, but unlike most Covid hobbies, I’ve stuck with it, and gotten pretty good.

    Getting good at something difficult results in great feelings, as you can imagine, but I wasn’t prepared for how much better it made me feel. My self-esteem and confidence went through the roof, and made me realize that I’ve probably been operating under a low-grade depression for my entire life.

    Sometimes we’re depressed and don’t even know it. You come to accept that it’s just how you feel, and that’s your life. You don’t even know it can be better, until it is.

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    • TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Congrats on sticking to it. Getting out of that rut.

      Ive been a horrific introvert through most of my 20s. Met someone with similar interests, for once, and now it doesn’t feel like such a chore. Gone to do more in 6 months than in 20 years.

      Humans can get use to anything and call it normal.

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  • abbadon420@sh.itjust.works ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    It’s a generational thing. Your dad’s generation didn’t talk about mental health, so there was no such thing as mental health. If you had serious depression, you were just weak and grumpy. All you could do about depression was soldier through it. Now we talk about it and it’s more accepted. Now we actually try to tackle the problems of mental health instead of tucking it away.

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    • hunnybubny@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Start around 45-48 min mark.

      TL;DR blue did not exist to some people. It still does not in some cultures to some degree. Want more tangible evidence? Torquoise. How many can properly name this color?

      What I am getting at. If people lack cultural, vocabulary properties, some things will never even occur to them.

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      • kayohtie@pawb.social ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        This is the reality of what sapir-whorf was guessing at. The way it’s defined is incorrect IIRC, but the real heart of it I think stemmed from this kind of reality of distinction.

        The fact people think it’s normal and don’t realize it’s not, especially once they get older simply being unwilling to think otherwise…yeah.

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    • wowwoweowza@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      What if all we have done is turn it into an epidemic?

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      • abbadon420@sh.itjust.works ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Find patient zero and kill them.

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    • lightnsfw@reddthat.com ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Now we talk about it and it’s more accepted.

      That sounds like soldiering through it with extra steps.

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      • abbadon420@sh.itjust.works ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        And proffesional guidance, tools, medication, support and understanding from your environment and and you can recognition so you can use the social safety nets your country provides.

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    • finitebanjo@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I think it’s highly likely genetic in this example.

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  • leftzero@lemmynsfw.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Yeah, that’s not depression, that’s just normal. 🤷‍♂️

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  • Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “You get used to it”

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    • Mac@mander.xyz ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Narrator:
      “You never actually get used to it.”

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      • lightnsfw@reddthat.com ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Eh, I’m pretty used to it.

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      • samus12345@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I have become

        Comfortably numb

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  • rumba@lemmy.zip ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    This is the drawer where I keep my various lengths of wire, and this is the compartment where I keep my crippling depression, fears, and anxiety. For the fucking love of satan don’t open that up, I try to forget it exists. The last time I opened it up, it nearly ate me.

    No, I’m fine, why do you ask?

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    • AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      At least the crippling depression isn’t mixed up with the wire. A functional organisation system isn’t a substitute for a will to live, but an inability to find the right tools would certainly not help

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      • rumba@lemmy.zip ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Shut the drawer and carry on, it’s a super power.

        How do you operate so well in a crisis? I’ve been in crisis mode for 37 years, take the best path and move forward.

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  • rekabis@lemmy.ca ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Just like the opposite of addiction is not sobriety but connection, so the opposite of depression is not happiness but vitality.

    Because that is what most depression saps out of people - the vitality to do things, to live life, and to give your own life meaning and the strength to forge ahead.

    Sometimes people can handle depression on their own. Most of the time, however, help of some sort is needed. Never be afraid or let yourself be shamed for reaching out or accepting help, because we all need help once in a while. As the Good Captain once said, “It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life.”

    And while uncultivated ignorance can still be educated away, beware cultivated ignorance – these people are maliciously ignorant, and are intentionally trying to hurt you.

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  • Honytawk@feddit.nl ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Get it? The punchline is having no will to live! Hahaha …

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    • SnortsGarlicPowder@lemmy.zip ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I don’t think that’s a joke or a punchline.

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      • Vanilla_PuddinFudge@infosec.pub ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        The joke? Life! Haha! 🤣😭

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  • lukaro@lemmy.zip ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    That isn’t normal?

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    • vivalapivo@lemmy.today ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      It’s okay. Everything will be ok. I love you, man 💞

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    • finitebanjo@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Some forms of depression are genetic, so this is “common” but constant suicide ideation is not “normal, functioning, or healthy.”

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      • lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I do have some light form of depression at some constant rate, but never suicidal ideation.

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  • sin_free_for_00_days@sopuli.xyz ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation… A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things…”

    ― Henry David Thoreau

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    • flippinfreebird@lemmy.today ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      What book is that from?

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      • redhorsejacket@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        This comes from the introduction to “Walden, or, Life in the Woods”, in which the author gets fed up with modern (1840s) society and fucks off to the woods of Massachusetts for a little over 2 years. During this time he attempted to be fully self-reliant, building his residence from the ground up and eating only what he could hunt or gather. It is emblematic of the American transcendentalism movement, which emphasized connection with nature, self-reliance, and intuitive knowledge of truth. It was, in essence, the Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance of its day, if you’re aware of that book.

        I read it in high school and I did not think much of it at that time. I think, perhaps, it would find more fertile ground in my thoughts now, were I to revisit it. Certainly in the decades since first reading it, I’ve become more sympathetic to the idea of pissing off to the woods and minding my own business until I expire.

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    • Gaja0@lemmy.zip ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      That sounds romantc. If whoever said that was around today, they might see that the male loneliness epidemic is just a bunch of incel adjacents cowards crying about how society needs to sexually validate them.

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      • lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Loneliness != wanting sex.

        Although I do agree that the “male loneliness epidemic” is a bit of a manufactured narrative.

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      • coolcat1711@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Yikes

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  • vivalapivo@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I’m the dad and you’re gay, son

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    • robocall@lemmy.world ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      It’s ok 2 b gay

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      • vivalapivo@lemmy.today ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        There are two types of gays, actually.

        It’s ok to be the first type, but to be 4chan gay is not okay. Just as to be 4chan straight, 4chan bi or 4chan whatever is not ok.

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  • Boxscape@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “oh that’s how I’ve felt my whole”

    Image

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  • steeznson@lemmy.world ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Fake: Anon’s dad returned to the family home after “going out for some smokes”

    Gay: Anon shares repressed feelings with another man

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  • chefdano3@lemmy.zip ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    One day, I will most likely have this exact conversation with my kids.

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    • steeznson@lemmy.world ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      This is why I’m adopting if I ever decide with my wife to be parents. Can’t imagine the guilt of my DNA looking me in the eye and asking why “did you make me?”

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      • TheBat@lemmy.world ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Look straight back and say, “cause your mum wanted to get rawdogged and forgot her birth control pills”.

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      • lars@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I know so many well meaning people who have said exactly this

        Until the pregnancy test. And then they’re like “Let’s fucking DO it! We’ll be parents!!”

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    • Sabata11792@ani.social ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I know better than to add misery to the system.

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  • thegr8goldfish@startrek.website ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Honestly, this is why I started smoking. Didn’t stop until I had kids. Don’t smoke tobacco, kids. It’s whacko.

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  • Etterra@discuss.online ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Yeah that’s been me since I was like, 7.

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