Submitted 2 months ago by fabulous@feddit.uk to [deleted]
You’d have to be a fool to not atleast give it a try. Besides, it’s “uh” date. You’re not committing to anything beyond a cup of coffee and a graceful retreat at worst, to at best, a fun night running around town with a new younger friend with whom you get along. Get in there, homie!
Nah. Age gaps only matter when one party is not yet an adult and free to make their own choices.
A 30 year old? If they’re not capable of deciding who to date on their own, then their conservator should say no before someone tries to set them up on a blind date.
Just make sure this lady knows there’s an age gap so she can make an informed decision. And be aware that while age gaps don’t matter in terms of who can and should date whom, doesn’t mean there aren’t extra issues that might result in incompatibilities. Those incompatibilities aren’t a sure thing either, though.
Reminds me how Hank’s dad in King of the Hill remarried one of Hank’s kindergarten classmates.
Also why Roger Moore quit being Bond. “They kept hiring women to play opposite me young enough to be my granddaughter. Frankly, it was disgusting.”
That said, you’re both adults. As long as it doesn’t feel awkward or controlly to either of you, give it a shot.
Only kinda. You’re potentially at VERY different life stages. She might be at the “I want kids and to start a family” stage. You’re in the “well at least I have one good knee still” phase.
So it might work, but unless you can change diapers and carry toddlers, it might not.
Fuck, I’m in my 20s and in the “well at least I have one good knee still” phase.
If it gets serious, make sure she knows you’ll be dying probably 30 years ahead of her.
Go get her tiger
Not a problem but highly unlikely it will last. You’re both at completely different points in your lives.
I say if you’re going into the date with a level head you’re good.
I’m around your age and whilst I have friends who are around your blind dates age, I would never consider a romantic relationship with someone that age. Its not the number of years so much as the generational thing. I have kids older than that and that’s where it goes into weird territory.
Everyone’s different and you do you etc but I’d ask your daughter at the very least to inform the other half of this date how old her date is going to be.
A rule of thumb for weirdness in age difference is age/2+7, leaving you at 51/2+7=32,5. So going by that, 30 is a bit on the young side, which is obvious also from the fact that you felt the need to create this thread.
If one person would be in a position to judge you for it (or rightfully feel weird about it) it's your daughter. It's safe to say she seems cool with it, so whatever.
I think that is where it feels iffy to me, personally. Also, like, since you are asking this, there is a feeling of there being a power imbalance from you already so I would avoid it.
Don’t go off what people say on here. Men on here are particularly weird and misogynistic - and I say this living somewhere where I frequently get catcalled within 30 secs of stepping through the door.
Oh man, up until this comment, I followed along the whole time like “nope, nothing weird here at all.” You’re both adults and get lonely or bored from time to time. Hang out and see if maybe each other’s company helps with that. Not creepy at all.
But the thought of your daughter hanging out with her friend and all of a sudden saying “hey, you know what? You should date my dad! I’ll set you guys up”
…it’s just wildly unexpected for some reason 😂
Like, I don’t care who my mom dates but I am NOT gonna try and hook her up with one of my friends
Nope
Two adults dating is not a problem
don’t sweat it. you’re both adults with life experience that is both greater than and equal to.
enjoy the date and be sure to be respectful and treat them as an equal. you can figure out who they are along the way 😉
You’re good. Just make sure you stock up on Viagra if things go well. You should get in shape fairly quick, too.
Viagra at 51? No.
That will depend mostly on her, not him.
Nah. Live your life to the fullest.
Fucking legend
Friend recently asked me something similar as he’s finalizing a divorce and has started dating again, though he’s a bit younger than you (and the girl is a bit younger than your example).
I forget exact ages but the half your age plus 7 rule was met. Say 42 and 29?
She worked in our industry and specifically the same role he did, but at a more junior level I have to assume.
Distilled down a but I essentially said if they like each other and they are together because of that, then it’s fine. They are both adults and can have fun together as much as they want. They need to keep that balance though. If it becomes a mentorship kind of situation then they probably both need to take a step back and reflect on what that means.
Half your age plus 7
Yea kinda creepy tbh but if you’re an honestly decent person I’d let it slide
By half-plus-7, this relationship will be noncreepy in 3 years - i imagine that to a 51-year-old that is not a long time
Though it’s fairly close at least
No. Most people don’t care about that age gap.
Though, if there’s a clear power imbalance in a way thats exploitative, that could be a problem.
20 years is worthy of other conversations though. Considerations about genuineness, compatibility, and practicality do arise, but those are all personal and situational.
If you don’t feel comfortable, you don’t have to do it. But, being lonely is super toxic for us and I opine that your daughter’s heart is in the right place.
No, you do you
No , but if you think about too hard you’ll be a creep. /s
No. Enjoy.
Friend of mine was in a similar situation. One day she said something to him that made him realize he was literally the only person who cared about the age difference.
I had a friend that was dating someone 17years her senior, the mom was not happy , was quite upset about it. She said he’s almost as old as she is. Most people will do 5 years at the most
The rule I always heard was older_age/2+7. In this case, 51 would give you a rough range of 32-88.
30 might be a little weird, but just depends how you guys gel
Not creepy. The only issue might be a clash of what you want, if it became a serious relationship, ie she may want to marry if she hasn’t before, and you may be averse to it having been divorced. Or she may want children, which you may not if you’ve already got adult kids etc.
No
What was her judgement to this question?
Anyone who cares isn’t worth your time
Itd only be an issue if your daughter cared, past 25 I don’t see why ppl think it’s grooming, most ppls personalities are done baking at 18, sure some ppl grow and mature after that but how many really change at the same rate they do while going to college, some ppl at 30 are way more mature than others, just depends on life experiences, I’ve been thinking about this because I feel like ive stagnated, was growing every year and now its just been 3 years of the same, while ik some ppl that still travel alot, do something new every week and they’re definitely different ppl, have just grown to another point in life.
for context im 25 and moved back home post college, its pretty much hyperspeed to the grave
Yes. Don’t do that. Go for someone in their mid to late 30s
Half plus 7 rule
51/2+7=32.5
Op is only slightly creepy
They are adults, let them figure it our for themselves.
mjhelto@lemm.ee 2 months ago
The old adage I learned is half your age + 7.
DontRedditMyLemmy@lemmy.world 1 month ago
But 30?
mjhelto@lemm.ee 1 month ago
Nah you’re right. 30 might be too young!
LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 1 month ago
That’s more of a guideline tho, like the pirate code.