Wow anon thank you for the illustration
I wasn’t sure what you meant by “plain white t shirt”
Anon is at a work function
Submitted 3 weeks ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/726eedd4-2f4e-4125-ad68-e9fff4c5ea31.jpeg
Comments
Mac@mander.xyz 3 weeks ago
Empricorn@feddit.nl 3 weeks ago
Can you circle it for me? Still having trouble…
SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 3 weeks ago
lime@feddit.nu 3 weeks ago
i would definitely have laughed at that.
SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
Everyone is now blankly staring at you.
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
Yeah, that would have been my cue to leave and never hang out with those people outside of work ever again.
rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
his coworkers are the socially inept ones that’s a top tier dad joke.
ameancow@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Seriously, that was fire, either his coworker was a much worse social reject, or greentext had already fucked his reputation at work. Since it’s 4chan, I can easily assume he tried to hit on every female coworker in some really creepy way and now nobody wants to be near him. I had a coworker like that. Everyone hated him.
SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 3 weeks ago
now I get flashbacks to the time we did a company retreat at some holiday beach.
10 or so of our company go on a sailingboat party tour with another group: a very obvious bachlorettes party. a dozen or so woman, with one of them wearing a white bikini and head gown.
creepy-social-inept-dude from our company decided to try his luck. With the future bride of all people.
It was quite amusing and sad to watch
gaja@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
I’m at my first office job. A lot of people seem to eminate of the same forced positivity I saw during college. I don’t want to isolate myself, but I can’t see myself making connections.
henfredemars@infosec.pub 3 weeks ago
Remember that sociable people are over-represented in your data set. The hermits and otherwise isolated types are the ones you are least likely to see around the office even when they are present.
Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Start signing your emails with “Kindest regards,”
Everyone knows that such people are not to be trifled with. It’s the office job equivalent of killing an inmate in the prison yard on your first day.
TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
“Thank you for all you do.” Is my go to.
I regularly beef with the kindest regards lady. She’s a lazy ass lol
easily3667@lemmus.org 3 weeks ago
Please advise
Kindest regards, Anon
May as well have pushed the CEO off the roof
Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
Just keep telling people that you’re swamped. “Aw man I wish I could go but I’m swamped. Thanks for inviting me though!” I’ve been in my corpo job for two years and have yet to attend any social events, except when catered and then I just sneak in and grab a plate then bail.
steeznson@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I once walked towards a dude wearing the same shirt as me in a nightclub on my way to the toilet. I said, “Nice shirt bro!” and then walked directly into a floor to ceiling mirror.
Dalkor@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I’ve bumped into a mirror at a nightclub and apologized to myself. And then facepalmed harder than I ever have before.
tetris11@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
Anon used the word ‘bro’ when they should have used the word ‘friend’ and cupped the balls of their white shirt brother. Also, that’s a t-shirt not a shirt, no wonder anon disappoints everyone
Empricorn@feddit.nl 3 weeks ago
It’s very offensive when people try to talk to me without cupping my balls first. Politeness is dead!
ace_of_based@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
You never needed a friend in me before. But now you come to me and you say “Empricorn, nice t-shirt.” But you don’t show me respect. You don’t offer friendship. You didn’t even think to cup my balls."
MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de 3 weeks ago
T-shirts are a sub-set of Shirts in general.
SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
If I had to go out drinking with my coworkers like they do in Japan then I would end myself
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Same. I don’t drink, so it’ll suck even more than usual.
smee@poeng.link 3 weeks ago
Welcome to hell.
The problem with the Norwegian julebord tradition is that it is not only used for eating nice Christmas food, but it’s also just as common to use it as an excuse to get very drunk.
Coworkers getting very drunk together also tends to be a bad idea in general, and the julebord tradition is known to have many controversies. Not only is it the most likely place for someone to hook up with a coworker, but it’s also known to be a breeding ground for workplace conflicts and sexual harassment.
henfredemars@infosec.pub 3 weeks ago
How else were they to stare at your blank shirts?
Pencilnoob@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
[deleted]adarza@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
found the middling-manager in HR that set the whole thing up to begin with.
jmcs@discuss.tchncs.de 3 weeks ago
*below mediocre manager.
Even the average HR person can see a large scale roasting in a work environment would be a disaster.
Empricorn@feddit.nl 3 weeks ago
“He he, that’s a good one, Denise! Got me good! I have to go to the bathroom now, but definitely not to sob in the stall…”
baines@lemmy.cafe 3 weeks ago
don’t go to unpaid work functions
PDFuego@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I got chewed out for not going to a company bowling party once because I was working that night and asked for overtime if I went. I was doing security patrols which in that job meant 12-hour overnight shifts that were mostly driving, and I refused to lose 3 hours of sleep so I could go out before work. The HR lady or whatever she was couldn’t understand why I refused to go even though she so thoughtfully planned it outside of work hours.
tetris11@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
that is shitty and should be pointed out to her if she genuinely didn’t know
baines@lemmy.cafe 3 weeks ago
fuck companies like this
ace_of_based@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
“If I’m not being paid, I’m not coming” is something i make clear with my bosses early on. It doesn’t ingratiate me to mgmt, but i already tried the “team player” route and it’s an investment with no fucking returns. I’m to old to fuck around, I’m only there to get paid, miss me with that off-hours shit. i have enough friends and bossman aint never gonna be one of em.
Cruxifux@feddit.nl 3 weeks ago
It’s a good way to connect with your coworkers and organize or at least talk about pay together.
jabathekek@sopuli.xyz 3 weeks ago
Unless your co-workers are absolutely miserable like Anons.
JokeDeity@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
The only place I worked that had frequent unpaid functions was JP Morgan Chase. Those people are not organizing against the man, and if pay is brought up, it’s to rub it in someone’s face.
Don’t go to unpaid work functions.
Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
Unless there is free food. Never pass up free food.
baines@lemmy.cafe 3 weeks ago
there is a food to effort ratio
(quality + cost + favor) / (pain + suffering + people)
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Check.
Prime_Minister_Keyes@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
I only go when there’s free beer. Like, real, actual beer. None of that 0% BS.