How do I win a fight with a lion?

Comments

• countrypunk@slrpnk.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Talk over and faster than it. Make up scientific studies to sound credible.

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• NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  You just gotta go pspspspsps

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  • fool@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Shouldn’t it be the reverse? Spspspspsp?

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  • ToffeeIsForClosers@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Finger in your ear and then hold it out for him to smell.

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    • NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      Image

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  • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Lick it on the head to confuse it.

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• Pippipartner@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Only reported to work with lion dens, but might be extended to arenas as well.

  Pray to the god of Daniel and be without sin before the face of god and the king. (DANIEL 6, 13)

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• BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  If you’re fighting a singular male lion on it’s own… They’re not brave without their pack and they’re way more ‘bark’ than bite. It’s just like a black bear, be as big and loud as you can. Alone in the face of a fight it’s not sure it can win, the Lion will want to run. That will just buy you time, closing the gap and actually winning the fight will depend on circumstances, but you can get the upper hand in a lot of ways.

  Whatever happens, be thankful you’re not fighting a Tiger.

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  • possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    I’ll just wrestle it to the ground and bite its neck (I’m a vampire)

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    • HipsterTenZero@dormi.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      rookie vampire mistake. Just summon in a swarm of wolves and mist-form away whenever the lion gets close. Maybe shoot some of the spectators some beguiling eyes and throw them at the lions too. Once its too full to keep moving, then deliver the coup de grace.

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• ryan213@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Be an elephant.

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  • possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Instructions unclear, now I’m a snake

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• fool@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  YTA! Lion’s house, lion’s rules. Hit a lawyer, get Facebook, drop the gym.

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  • thermal_shock@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    you didn’t mention the “Karen”

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• the_beber@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Bring all the Pokemon.

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• HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Poison a gazelle

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• DmMacniel@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Get on top of one of those four pillars and then pray that your quiver has enough arrows. Good luck Grand Champion.

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  • hakunawazo@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    GOOD PEOPLE OF CYRODIIL. WELCOME. TO. THE. ARENA.

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• nichtburningturtle@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Bribe the lion keeper. Your battle with a dead lion will be legendary.

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• TastyWheat@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  I heard once that if you rub the top of a cat’s head with a toothbrush, it’ll calm down.

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  • AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Well known fact.

    Alternatively, it will sit on any passing roomba, according to YouTube.

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    • TastyWheat@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      Has anyone tried placing a gherkin next to it mid battle?

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    • Siegfried@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      The problem is, you are the passing roomba in this case

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• superkret@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Can you choose your weapons?
  I’m that case, choose either a boar spear, or an Atchisson AA-12, depending on your era.

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• SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  What are the rules? Are you allowed weapons of any sort?

  Is it like gladiator style combat or are you allowed ranged weaponry?

  This is pretty vague, and I’m fairly sure the community rules say that when posting questions about lions you need to be very specific otherwise you’re what is known as a “dingus.”

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• finitebanjo@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  They have sensitive noses but they can’t be stopped mid charge and likely won’t be deterred by peeing in their face. Maintaining eye contact will make them slightly more hesitant but also angry.

  They swipe harder and faster than Mike Tyson in his prime, but if it’s a show lion it might be suffering from lifelong narcotics addiction so at least you’ve got that going for you. The bite force is enough to sever your limbs so never let it grab you.

  TLDR Stay away but don’t run, try to hit it’s nose.

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• Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  With a gun, the larger the calibre the better.

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• bstix@feddit.dk ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Catnip and hakuna matata

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• Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Get a really big laser pointer to distract it

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• huquad@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Its very important you change your name to Daniel.

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  • shalafi@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Sampson would work as well.

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• Lumidaub@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Be Batman, have prep time.

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• ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Gun

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• jewbacca117@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Bring a shotgun

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  • possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    1000007533

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• Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Have lots of steaks with poison in it.

  That or an assault rifle.

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• regdog@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Are you planning to visit your crazy uncle Duncan?

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• atempuser23@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  [deleted]

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  • shalafi@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Extended mags are notorious for jamming. Remember the asshole shooter in Aurora? Yeah, he had to toss his AR-15 because his tacticool mag jammed right off the bat.

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• qyron@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Get two Rodesian Ridgebacks.

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