Jack and Coke
Submitted 2 months ago by ABCDE@lemmy.world to [deleted]
Comments
TheImpressiveX@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
Empricorn@feddit.nl 2 months ago
This is a crime, right?
TheBraveSirRobbin@lemmy.world 2 months ago
What do you even do if this happens to you?
variants@possumpat.io 2 months ago
Go outside and start pouring gasoline on the building
Honytawk@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
The crime is still asking for regular cocktail prices
SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 2 months ago
You’re the worst.
ABCDE@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I try (sadly I didn’t make the comic, but it’s one that has made me laugh for years).
Dave2@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
Why do they not have eyes? WHY DO THEY NOT HAVE EYES
andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
I fall asleep in the closet but I wake up in my bed. Before I open my eyes I know she will be there.
She is.
Standing at the end of the bed. Morning time. She is not a person. She is something else. I try not to cry. I start crying right away. Can’t stop. She is tall but her body is not a body. It is just a pile of things. It’s covered in a long shiny robe. Shiny from a million blue-gold flies crawling on her. Long gray hair covers most of her face. I look up at the ceiling and scream and scream and scream. I scream for mommy to come back. The ceiling turns pink and fuzzy I am screaming so hard.
Then she is standing over me looking down on me. Her face is awful pieces of animal. I remember her eyes. The same eyes as the white horse Brittany rides, the one that mom said I could pet but it bit my hand and I had to go to the hospital. The eyes are just hanging on the face not really looking at me. Flies crawl on them. I am shaking scared.
Please God please please make her go away.
She snorts and makes animal sounds. Her old barn smell makes me want to throw up. She reaches out and her fingers are made of crab legs all different sizes. No no no. I hate crabs more than anything. When we go to the beach, my dad always makes sure to pick a part of the beach with no crabs. He says he can tell when there are crabs because no no no she touches my face with her crab hands horrible horrible I close my eyes as tight as I can and scoot against the back of the bed.
The touching stops. I press my eyes shut tight.
Tweets and chirps. “Drink,” a happy little voice says.
I keep my eyes closed.
“Drink,” says the voice. It sounds fun and cartoony.
I open my eyes just a little bit. Oh a dozen bird heads have crawled out of a hole in her neck. They move in different ways. I found a dead baby bird once in our backyard. It had no skin and blue lumps for eyes. It is there with the other heads. “Drink!” it says in its funny parrot voice.
She holds up a big silver spoon in her crab hand. A greenish monkey hand holds up a glass bottle full of purple stuff and pours it out into the spoon. I can smell it. Grapey like the medicine mom gives me. Is it the same stuff? She holds the spoon up for me to drink.
Please God make this stop.
All the birds giggle.
Her claw pinky pokes my neck. It hurts. I open my mouth. Down goes the medicine.
I lie there with my eyes shut tight. I cry and stop crying and cry again. I know she’s there. The smell. The flies. The sound of animal breath. Why won’t she go away? Please go away go away go away. Please God make her go away.
Something’s slipped inside my eyes. I can see it even though they’re closed. Not a square. Not a triangle. A shape I don’t know the name of. Lots of shapes. Oh no my eyeballs fill up with little people like a Where’s Waldo book. There’s a million of them all doing different things moving around in an old city with castles and flags. They’re running through tunnels and climbing up towers. I can watch them all at once. Wow. There’s a baker and a knight and clown and a queen with lots of – they’re all dying! Cartoony blood pours everywhere and they’ve all got scared looks on their faces and the blood washes away and they’re all playing and smiling again.
The places and people change. I see stories. They happen all at once, a hundred stories, but I can watch them all at once. It’s different people crying and laughing and living and dying and doing all kinds of things. It’s like seeing ten movies all at once and it’s so much too much I open my eyes.
She is still there piled up on the edge of the bed. The Where’s Waldo people are still there, playing and laughing and bleeding and dying. The animal pieces of her face open up and – look! there’s another face inside. It’s a woman’s face or maybe a man’s face made of wet clay. It’s smooth and beautiful and I’m not scared at all looking at it and I feel like I’m floating. The clay changes and the face turns into other faces – an old man, a young man, a Chinese guy, a sad black guy, other guys, a cat. The shapes of the faces change but something in the eyes stays the same. Staring at me. Telling me something.
The face changes one more time. It is a woman’s face. Mother. Maybe very old maybe very young. Mother. The eyes say something clearly. Mother. I can feel my heart beating when it beats it says Mother. Mother. Mother. The eyes are sad so old and sad and kind so kind like they’re sorry for me like they wish they could help me. But the face is still and the lips are pressed together like she – Mother – is trying to hide that she is sad. Trying not to be sad. Trying to be strict. Because…
Because she is going to punish me. It is the same look mom gives me when I’ve been bad and she puts me in time out. The face is mom’s face but also a thousand other faces. They feel sorry for me.
Oh no. Oh no no no no no no no no. I scream and scream scream scream.
nonfuinoncuro@lemm.ee 2 months ago
do you post on nosleep? is there an equivalent community on lemmy?
phlegmy@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com 2 months ago
I actually prefer it without eyes
Tikiporch@lemmy.world 2 months ago
They live in bizzaro world where men have spiderman eyes and superhero in costume are the only ones with iris and pupils?
roboto@feddit.org 2 months ago
I was honestly expecting just the jack and some cocaine
ABCDE@lemmy.world 2 months ago
roguetrick@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Pepsi is too sweet to mix with American whiskey.
MisterFrog@lemmy.world 2 months ago
At risk of being stuck-up: What, and Coca-Cola is not too sweet? Cola is sugar water with a bit of flavour.
frezik@midwest.social 2 months ago
It’s a slight difference. Pepsi has 40.9g of sugar for a 375mL serving size, and Coke is 39.8g for the same.
www.rethinksugarydrink.org.au/how-much-sugar
That said, Coke is actually a very complex drink. Which is readily apparent from the various DIY recipes that are floated online. That “with a bit of flavour” part is doing a lot of heavy lifting.
chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 2 months ago
That’s my take away from this. If I ask for a jack and coke or rum and coke, the “and coke” is just as important as the rest. Pepsi isn’t what I want. I would never give the OK to swap out the mixer. I’d rather just drink the liquor straight.
roguetrick@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I’d be fine with Pepsi for Scotch mixers I think, it’s just American whiskey is already sweet as hell.
frezik@midwest.social 2 months ago
Can people who “enjoy” a Rum + Coke actually tell?
Korne127@lemmy.world 2 months ago
That’s such a stupid troll move. I love it.
fox2263@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I wonder what they taste like combined. I’ve never thought of it before.
pyre@lemmy.world 2 months ago
tastes like cola, more or less
chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 2 months ago
More, technically.
ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 2 months ago
RC Cola
lengau@midwest.social 2 months ago
Significant improvement there.
SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
You’re the scotch in my soda.
You’re the rum in my cola.
I’ll slurp down your love straight, no chaser.
I’ll call your sweet cocktail
The Pain Eraser.
affiliate@lemmy.world 2 months ago
what happened to that guys sleeves
BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
Their bulging biceps have torn them to shreds.
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 2 months ago
I had a gf who didn’t believe that one could tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi, so we bought both brands so I could do the Pepsi Challenge. I took a sip of one of the cups and called her out for mixing them. She was shocked. I proved that they were distinguishable. Her jaw hit the floor. This was around 2000.
jawa21@lemmy.sdf.org 2 months ago
I don’t understand someone having such a blown out pallet that they can’t tell the difference. They are markedly different.
NielsBohron@lemmy.world 2 months ago
FTFY. A pallet is a small bed or an object used for carrying things, a palate is part of the mouth or one’s ability to taste things. Pretty pedantic,I know, but I have this compulsion to correct misused homophones, so… Sorry? You’re welcome? Either way, have a great day!
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
From a soda fountain I can’t tell the difference because they always get mixed wrong anyway. Out of a can yeah they’re different.
tfw_no_toiletpaper@lemmy.world 2 months ago
They probably use different mixtures in the US, but here in Germany I think everyone can taste th3 difference. Pepsi is way sweeter and imo tastes more artificially (compared to coke).
user1234@lemmynsfw.com 2 months ago
That’s pretty much the same as in the US too.
EnderMB@lemmy.world 2 months ago
In some European countries, Pepsi actually reduced the sugar amount and replaced with artificial sweeteners.
SSJMarx@lemm.ee 2 months ago
There are so many regional differences even if the recipe is 99% the same. Denatured coca leaves aren’t a thing outside the Americas, different bottling plants will use different types of sugar, water of differing quality will affect the taste, etc etc.
MeatsOfRage@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I did the Pepsi challenge when they were setup at a booth in Vancouver. Ended up picking Coke
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 2 months ago
It’s alright, we can’t all pass on the first try
Klear@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I did it three times. Always picked coke.
SSJMarx@lemm.ee 2 months ago
Same here. I’ll drink whatever’s on tap but I don’t like Pepsi as much cuz it’s too sweet.
MisterFrog@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I would say they only become distinguishable if you actually like cola, and drink I enough to be able to distinguis. Like all things taste, if you aren’t exposed to it often, you can’t tell the difference.
I’d bet you GF just rarely drank either coke or Pepsi.
RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
As someone who rarely drinks Coke and even less often Pepsi (quite uncommon in my country) I still can easily distinguish them. I possibly wouldn’t be able to tell if one is Pepsi or some other brand but I’m sure I can tell it’s not Coke.
altima_neo@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
Yeah, I mean it’s the kind of thing most people don’t really think about till your really try them side by side at least once. For me, Coke seems to have a bit of a cinnamon or similar spice flavor going on while Pepsi lacks that spice hit and tastes a lot sweeter.
nexguy@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Pepsi tastes like artificially sweetened flat coke.
shneancy@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Pepsi max on the other hand testes like a mix of various household chemicals with sugar and a little vomit
i don’t have the slightest clue why people enjoy that “flavour”
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 2 months ago
This is the best description I’ve ever seen and I’m going to remember it for future use. Damn fine description.
WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I can’t tell the difference between Pepsi and store-brand cola, but I can definitely tell the difference between Pepsi and Coke.
pewpew@feddit.it 2 months ago
I also couldn’t tell the difference, but is very slight to me