Hol’upaminnitt. Lucy stops the panic attack and delivers the tasties, and they’re still the baddie? Anon is one ungrateful gumby.
Anon fucks up
Submitted 10 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/ffa5c75d-b8fb-4af0-9815-1348c586d755.jpeg
Comments
JoMiran@lemmy.ml 10 months ago
SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Satan is cool and understanding. He was God’s bitch once as well.
mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
God just claims you have free will. Satan is the one that actually fights for it
mossy_@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Ever heard of a Faustian Bargain? If the bible was written today, Stan would be taking requests through Amazon
Lizardking27@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Sounds like God wasn’t capable enough to stay competitive in today’s spiritual market.
Snowpix@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
God needs to pull himself up by his bootstraps. He can’t expect to have everyone’s souls handed to him.
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 10 months ago
Christianity would have been so much cooler if the Gnostics won the cult war
djsoren19@yiffit.net 10 months ago
Yeah, it’s unfortunate that death-cults preaching about the poison of reality are really bad at surviving through time.
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 10 months ago
Idk, the Catholics figured it out
FreakinSteve@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Read your bibles people: GOD IS THE VILLAIN
SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 10 months ago
The biggest trick of the devil was to convince everyone he was actually god
molten_iron@lemmy.world 10 months ago
the plot twist is real
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Hail satan
Thcdenton@lemmy.world 10 months ago
rbesfe@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
Highest resolution 4chan post I’ve ever seen
RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Hail Satan
Lupus108@feddit.de 10 months ago
Just rolling into the next panic attack, huh?
Colour_me_triggered@lemm.ee 10 months ago
Praise Satan!
midnight_puker@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Hail Satan!
FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Lucy was the angel who stood up to their bloodthirsty megalomaniacal father and got kicked out for it. Why would I want to hang out with the judgmental prick instead of the guy who just wants everyone to eat drink and be merry?
minibyte@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
bloodthirsty megalomaniacal father
Imagine Yahweh the war god is your Dad.
TragicNotCute@lemmy.world 10 months ago
And you just wanna be an artist.
deegeese@sopuli.xyz 10 months ago
Anon tells on themselves about their true beliefs.
systemglitch@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Good thing god is all forgiving I hear.
Lizardking27@lemmy.world 10 months ago
God is the one that should be begging our forgiveness.
mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Insert Stephen Fry interview here
psud@aussie.zone 10 months ago
Jimmy Savile really hoped so
boatsnhos931@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Hail Santana!!
JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
Oye cómo va
SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 10 months ago
Hail Saitan
BreadOven@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Hail Satin!
Bonsoir@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
Plot twist: the calm was inside of you all along.
SuperNinjaFury@lemm.ee 10 months ago
Hail Santa!
Honytawk@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
The only reason Jaweh is seen as the good guy is because they are better at marketing
Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
Anon is going to Hell.
molten_iron@lemmy.world 10 months ago
i hope we get a sinner version of heaven i dont think i deserve to be in the same place as murderers and rapists
Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
God is not good. God is in fact very bad, if we assume they exist.
BugleFingers@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I actually had an order number of 666 before. The lady was calling out order numbers and when she got to mine she just announce the contents, we shared a look and had a chuckle. It was a mildly amusing event
pineapplelover@lemm.ee 9 months ago
Ticket was actually upside down. Anon was all good, it was 999
Kolanaki@yiffit.net 10 months ago
Satan is actually the good one; God just talked a bunch of shit and lied about how cool he was and how bad Satan was to pick up
chicksworshippers.dohpaz42@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Satan welcomes all people, from all walks of life, with open arms. God is a bigot who only accepts certain people, if they’re “good enough”. It’s also my understanding that God killed over 2-million people, while satan only killed 10.
Tell me how God loves me unconditionally again?
user224@lemmy.sdf.org 10 months ago
And also God apparently has so much power he could fix everything in this world with little effort. But no, he specifically creates it. God created all there is, including all the bad stuff. Murders? Rapists? Slave owners? …? Yep. But, “Do not question God’s intentions. He works in mysterious ways.”
Flax_vert@feddit.uk 10 months ago
If God only accepts certain people, then why did He die for everybody?
chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
Story of Job is basically
They are both on team asshole
Flax_vert@feddit.uk 10 months ago
You forgot the bit where it was actually satan who ruined his life 😒
Sabata11792@ani.social 10 months ago
Satan has death metal and titties. What’s not to like?
dohpaz42@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Found Elon Musk’s alt account!
seathru@lemmy.sdf.org 10 months ago
God had a pretty impressive kill count
Satan’s was what? A dozen at most?
Pheta@fedia.io 10 months ago
Pretty sure divinity isn't a killstreak.
psud@aussie.zone 10 months ago
I’m glad He’s imaginary. I mean I have burnt incense. Didn’t realise doing so carried a death penalty according to the Bible. I just thought it smelled nice
Bonsoir@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
Technically, Satan is a creation of God. Otherwise christianism would be polytheistic.
prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Christianity is has almost always been so dangerously close to polytheism that it’s laughable it isn’t considered to be.
It’s just bureaucracy at this point, I guess it’s not polytheism if you lower everyone to “middle manager god”
FreakinSteve@lemmy.world 10 months ago
In the story of the Tree of Knowledge, the serpent old the truth while god lied.
Between the two of them, only God kills in the bible, and boy he does it a LOT
samus12345@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Not even technically, just 100% that. God created the angels, Lucifer is an angel. In practice, many Christians practice a polytheistic religion in which Satan is the bad god.
blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 10 months ago
m.youtube.com/watch?v=z8j3HvmgpYc Satan’s guide to the Bible.