Hol’upaminnitt. Lucy stops the panic attack and delivers the tasties, and they’re still the baddie? Anon is one ungrateful gumby.
Anon fucks up
Submitted 1 week ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/ffa5c75d-b8fb-4af0-9815-1348c586d755.jpeg
Comments
JoMiran@lemmy.ml 1 week ago
SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Satan is cool and understanding. He was God’s bitch once as well.
mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
God just claims you have free will. Satan is the one that actually fights for it
mossy_@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Ever heard of a Faustian Bargain? If the bible was written today, Stan would be taking requests through Amazon
Lizardking27@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Sounds like God wasn’t capable enough to stay competitive in today’s spiritual market.
Snowpix@lemmy.ca 1 week ago
God needs to pull himself up by his bootstraps. He can’t expect to have everyone’s souls handed to him.
FreakinSteve@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Read your bibles people: GOD IS THE VILLAIN
SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 1 week ago
The biggest trick of the devil was to convince everyone he was actually god
molten_iron@lemmy.world 1 week ago
the plot twist is real
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 1 week ago
Christianity would have been so much cooler if the Gnostics won the cult war
djsoren19@yiffit.net 1 week ago
Yeah, it’s unfortunate that death-cults preaching about the poison of reality are really bad at surviving through time.
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 1 week ago
Idk, the Catholics figured it out
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
Hail satan
Thcdenton@lemmy.world 1 week ago
rbesfe@lemmy.ca 1 week ago
Highest resolution 4chan post I’ve ever seen
Lupus108@feddit.de 1 week ago
Just rolling into the next panic attack, huh?
RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
Hail Satan
Colour_me_triggered@lemm.ee 1 week ago
Praise Satan!
FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Lucy was the angel who stood up to their bloodthirsty megalomaniacal father and got kicked out for it. Why would I want to hang out with the judgmental prick instead of the guy who just wants everyone to eat drink and be merry?
minibyte@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
bloodthirsty megalomaniacal father
Imagine Yahweh the war god is your Dad.
midnight_puker@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
Hail Satan!
deegeese@sopuli.xyz 1 week ago
Anon tells on themselves about their true beliefs.
systemglitch@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Good thing god is all forgiving I hear.
Lizardking27@lemmy.world 1 week ago
God is the one that should be begging our forgiveness.
mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
Insert Stephen Fry interview here
psud@aussie.zone 1 week ago
Jimmy Savile really hoped so
boatsnhos931@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Hail Santana!!
JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 1 week ago
Oye cómo va
SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 1 week ago
Hail Saitan
BreadOven@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Hail Satin!
Bonsoir@lemmy.ca 1 week ago
Plot twist: the calm was inside of you all along.
SuperNinjaFury@lemm.ee 1 week ago
Hail Santa!
Honytawk@lemmy.zip 1 week ago
The only reason Jaweh is seen as the good guy is because they are better at marketing
Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 week ago
Anon is going to Hell.
molten_iron@lemmy.world 1 week ago
i hope we get a sinner version of heaven i dont think i deserve to be in the same place as murderers and rapists
Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 week ago
God is not good. God is in fact very bad, if we assume they exist.
Kolanaki@yiffit.net 1 week ago
Satan is actually the good one; God just talked a bunch of shit and lied about how cool he was and how bad Satan was to pick up
chicksworshippers.dohpaz42@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Satan welcomes all people, from all walks of life, with open arms. God is a bigot who only accepts certain people, if they’re “good enough”. It’s also my understanding that God killed over 2-million people, while satan only killed 10.
Tell me how God loves me unconditionally again?
user224@lemmy.sdf.org 1 week ago
And also God apparently has so much power he could fix everything in this world with little effort. But no, he specifically creates it. God created all there is, including all the bad stuff. Murders? Rapists? Slave owners? …? Yep. But, “Do not question God’s intentions. He works in mysterious ways.”
Flax_vert@feddit.uk 1 week ago
If God only accepts certain people, then why did He die for everybody?
chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 week ago
Story of Job is basically
They are both on team asshole
Flax_vert@feddit.uk 1 week ago
You forgot the bit where it was actually satan who ruined his life 😒
Sabata11792@ani.social 1 week ago
Satan has death metal and titties. What’s not to like?
dohpaz42@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Found Elon Musk’s alt account!
seathru@lemmy.sdf.org 1 week ago
God had a pretty impressive kill count
Satan’s was what? A dozen at most?
Pheta@fedia.io 1 week ago
Pretty sure divinity isn't a killstreak.
psud@aussie.zone 1 week ago
I’m glad He’s imaginary. I mean I have burnt incense. Didn’t realise doing so carried a death penalty according to the Bible. I just thought it smelled nice
Bonsoir@lemmy.ca 1 week ago
Technically, Satan is a creation of God. Otherwise christianism would be polytheistic.
prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
Christianity is has almost always been so dangerously close to polytheism that it’s laughable it isn’t considered to be.
It’s just bureaucracy at this point, I guess it’s not polytheism if you lower everyone to “middle manager god”
FreakinSteve@lemmy.world 1 week ago
In the story of the Tree of Knowledge, the serpent old the truth while god lied.
Between the two of them, only God kills in the bible, and boy he does it a LOT
samus12345@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Not even technically, just 100% that. God created the angels, Lucifer is an angel. In practice, many Christians practice a polytheistic religion in which Satan is the bad god.
blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 1 week ago
m.youtube.com/watch?v=z8j3HvmgpYc Satan’s guide to the Bible.