Shy anonness was so desperate she tried to ask anon out for a month but felt rejected so hard she moved to China. Press F for a fallen sister.
Anon misses some signals
Submitted 11 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/8091ecc9-7a61-4920-b943-e1ef1ac179c2.jpeg
Comments
andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
Why can’t they just say the want to date you?
Because direct rejection hurts. An ignored hint only disappoints.
qyron@sopuli.xyz 11 months ago
Bullshit.
It’s a social - stupid - standing that states romantic/social/sexual advances must be started by the male part, which automatically relegates the female part to a passive/subdued part.
If you want someone, be bold. Doesn’t matter how you define yourself either.
I don’t really care if you are shy and can’t speak or any coping mechanism you may have built to justify your awkwardess. Just try.
Write a note. Have a mutual friend act as a liaison to help the first step. Write a letter. Blurt out the most incoherent speech you can muster. Then say it all again, only ten times slower. Send smoke signals. Use a parrot or a crow. But try.
It hurts a lot more to punish yourself for not trying, later in your life. Failure and rejection are part of it. Get used to it. Learn from it.
RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
I didn’t ask for advice, just answered a question. And despite you thinking it’s bullshit, it’s probably the reason, people are not straight-forward.
Banana@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
I and my relationship are proof that if someone is right for you, the quickest pathway to true love is to fucking embarrass yourself. It’s surprisingly human and endearing.
Jolteon@lemmy.zip 11 months ago
halvar@lemm.ee 11 months ago
festnt@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
thank god my girlfriend used to be (and still is) extremely to the point
we were just walking with our friend group, then something happened that her and i were way in front of everyone else (i dont remember if they stopped or if we just walked faster), and she didnt know how to say it, so she just kissed me on the cheek
idk if its still possible for someone to misunderstand that. probably is
nastim@lemmynsfw.com 11 months ago
My girlfriend hinted that she liked me by getting under a blanket with me and taking off all her clothes. To be honest, I still wasn’t certain. We’ve been together 13 years.
uid0gid0@lemmy.world 11 months ago
She could be Canadian and just being polite
festnt@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
oh god i saw 13 years before reading and it sounded a lot worse until the end
congratulations though, im happy for you!
Banana@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
I’m the same way, I’m autistic and assume everyone else also doesn’t get subtext and social cues so I just say what I mean and honestly, when they say 'tism rizz, it just means not being afraid of embarrassment or rejection.
Hadriscus@lemm.ee 11 months ago
I don’t know if I’m autistic but I’ve always functioned this way too. I can’t understand subtext. Things have to be spelled out for me, I never understood why communication shouldn’t simply be as clear as it can be. Experience gave me some clues, though, so I can do the translation myself in some (most?) cases, but I feel it’s never going to be intuitive at all.
SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 11 months ago
woman dodges a bullet thanks to anon being clueless
Socsa@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
4chan is just Facebook now
Banana@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Always has been
PM_Your_Nudes_Please@lemmy.world 11 months ago
The trick is to just find a goth girl with autism. She’s just as frustrated by the Guess Culture BS, and will outright tell you she wants to date. No guesswork involved, because she doesn’t know how to do it.
General_Shenanigans@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Very similar situation, but in Physics, LOL. My self esteem was so low that I just assumed she was being lazy and taking advantage of me. I KNEW she was smart enough, but she kept asking me for help over and over. I don’t just give people answers, I work through it with them to teach them. Haha, looking back on it, she was probably just enjoying that interaction, meanwhile, I’m stewing inside about how this girl could be so ignorant as to accidentally keep sending me flirty signals and messing with me so she didn’t have to do her work. Funny thing is, I did like her. It just didn’t compute in my teenager brain that a girl would want to talk to me for any reason beyond getting some quiz answers out of me.
objectionist@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
dude are you me or some shit, this hits way too close to home
Fedizen@lemmy.world 11 months ago
either this is fake or my dude is on the autism spectrum
MindTraveller@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
Neurotypicals are so willing to disbelieve that the experiences of neurodivergent people are genuine
Flax_vert@feddit.uk 11 months ago
I was having to ask my friends if a girl liked me because she kept grabbing my hand to hold, calling me cute, kissing my cheek, etc
Fedizen@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I’ve got ADHD; I calls it like I sees it. The laying the head on shoulder seems too touchy to be misinterpreted by somebody without a sensory disorder to touch. Though its not said if this is normal behavior for the person doing it.
Brutticus@lemm.ee 11 months ago
no way dude, this happens to neurotypicals all the time
Akasazh@feddit.nl 11 months ago
Who would go on the internet and make stuff up?
Hadriscus@lemm.ee 11 months ago
This anecdote seems perfectly normal and relatable to me. I don’t know if it’s autism, but it’s certainly normal
PrimeMinisterKeyes@lemmy.world 11 months ago
One girl sat herself across the classroom from me (we had a U-shaped arrangement) and stared at me all year long.
One girl who was at the same bus station like me every morning asked me once to share a cab with me… for a five-minute ride.
One girl asked me what it feels like for me when I’m kissing.The third one, even though she was the oldest, seemed insincere and was way out of my league anyway, so I didn’t get the impression that she was after me until much later when a friend clued me in. In the other two cases, I did have an idea, but I wasn’t very much into either of these girls and the second one self-sabotaged her otherwise fantastic move by also inviting two of her friends who kept making a loud mess, so I couldn’t even talk to her during the ride anyway.
And so it took a long time for me to get a real girlfriend. Too high standards, in hindsight, plus I do have no difficulties with talking to girls, but with talking with girls. Turns out the vast majority is just not interested very much in the science-y things I read and did as a tyke, teenager and beyond. Not even in Hegel.Banana@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Idk if your standards are “too high” if the result is quality over quantity. You just didn’t waste your time with people who weren’t right for you. That’s a good thing!
nyar@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Not even in Hegel?!
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 11 months ago
I missed multiple wide-open signals like this when I was younger. But I like how my life turned out, so no regrets.
Allero@lemmy.today 11 months ago
Yeah, it all leads us somewhere. Happy to know you won at the end!
baldingpudenda@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Fuck, senior year I had a free period at the end of my day so I would walk home early. Come April and high 80s with humidity, I’m losing weight and the heavy ass backpack is making me stronger. One of my classmates, we have lots of classes together, pulls over and offers me a ride home. Several times a week. I’m too shy to do small talk and she’s out of my league. Always thank her and start paying her 5 dollars for gas money.
20 years later, I’m in the restroom avoiding the damn kids for 5 minutes and realize… Many such cases.
MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
I’m almost 40 and I can’t think of any situations like that. So it’s fairly safe to say I’ll probably never realize at this point.
PenisWenisGenius@lemmynsfw.com 11 months ago
I know of a girl from 13 years ago that I recently realized may have been flirting with me. Just to be on the safe side, she probably wasn’t. For all I know maybe she was just Canadian and being nice.
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 11 months ago
Lose weight
Or gain some
I don’t know you
Etterra@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Sounds like he lucked out. Who the hell would want to have to go to China?
Hadriscus@lemm.ee 11 months ago
One of my dear friends has been living in China for the past seven years or so, it seems like as good a place to live as any…
Case@lemmynsfw.com 11 months ago
Longest it took…
I was in a “study hall” type class in fourth grade. The teacher ran out of material after a couple weeks. So she decided to read The Hobbit out loud to the class while we worked on homework, other quiet activities, or slept. Really, don’t give her problems, won’t be problems.
I had already started The Hobbit on my own. At the time it was considered college level reading, so not too shabby. So, I continued reading (first time on The Hobbit) and finished WAY before the rest of the class listened. Because duh, a quick mental reader VS a teacher doing voices? No shit, Sherlock.
A girl who sat next to me (assigned seating) brushed the hair out of her eyes, blinked expressively a few times with direct eye contact, and said I must be “one of those cool nerds;” I suppose because I finished before Bilbo left the Shire.
It took me until college to realize. I vaguely remember considering her “kinda cute.” I could have, and in the future sure did, worse.
Asudox@lemmy.world 11 months ago
It took me a few seconds to notice and end it on the spot. Blushing and awkwardness of the girl gave it away instantly.
MindTraveller@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
Girls can’t just say they want to date you because of a thousand years of misogyny telling them to be passive so that a man can “claim” them. If you want girls to ask you out, become a feminist.
qyron@sopuli.xyz 11 months ago
It goes above and beyond being feminist.
If a guy doesn’t want to go out with a girl that actively asked him out, he is plain, basic, stupid.
Hikermick@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Anon needs a wingman
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Nah, she was just being friendly. Anon avoided an awkward misunderstanding.
prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
High possibility she was just Canadian.
halvar@lemm.ee 11 months ago
A candian probably would start dating anon just to be polite.
imaqtpie@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Bruh. I nearly just lost my shit like I thought we were supposed to be defederated from threads
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Meanwhile, I’ve been terrified that no one reads usernames. Gracias!