Mom! Look what I can do! profusely sweats
keep going lads!
Submitted 10 months ago by RockAndGnome@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/2a41771d-7ffe-4af5-a18b-12f2060b1897.jpeg
Comments
Sanctus@lemmy.world 10 months ago
RockAndGnome@lemmy.world 10 months ago
“stop shedding hair young man!”
random_character_a@lemmy.world 10 months ago
…I also smell profusely like musky urine.
ivanafterall@kbin.social 10 months ago
It isn't polite to brag, sweetie.
InfiniWheel@lemmy.one 10 months ago
Humanity’s secret weapon: power walking
IrateAnteater@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Sweaty power walking.
bastian_5@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
And throwing shit very well
eezeebee@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
qooqie@lemmy.world 10 months ago
It’s a fucking horror movie trying to run from something like that
GBU_28@lemm.ee 10 months ago
The snail is terrifying.
You get lots of wealth, but a magic snail is trying to find you. If it touches you, you die.
You cannot track or kill or permanently trap it, it is constant moving towards you.
Something like that
funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Snail takes a 1.3 days to crawl a mile, 280 miles a year. With a huge amount of wealth you can just move to the otherside of the country or ocean every 6 or 7 years.
Zehzin@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I can’t permanently trap it, so I can put it in a safe that opens after like 1000 years?
PM_Your_Nudes_Please@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Sort of. It’s just “it is also as intelligent as you are, immortal, and does everything in its power to reach you. If it touches you, you die.”
Ironically, letting it out of your sight is the worst thing you can do. Because once you lose sight of it, you’ll think you’re safe… Until some random Tuesday night at 3AM, it crawls into your bed and kills you in your sleep. You don’t want to just turn tail and run. You want to keep an eye on it, so you know where it is at all times. Pay a friend (or even two friends) to collect it in a secure container like a fireproof (airtight) safe, and watch it while you sleep.
Next, you want to start working on a more secure container. After all, you’re in it for the long haul. You want something that won’t corrode over time, has no easy openings, and will be difficult for someone to (either accidentally or intentionally) crack open. Concrete is a decent choice for a core, just for its massive compressive strength. It won’t easily crush. But it WILL degrade over time, so you’ll need something else to protect it. Tungsten would be a good choice, but it’s expensive. So maybe keep the snail encased in concrete, (checking it every few days to ensure it’s still structurally sound) while you wait a few centuries for your wealth to grow. After all, you have time.
Once you have enough money, encase that shit in tungsten. You want this shit to be impermeable and permanent, so don’t skimp. At that point, you can probably let your guard down a little bit. Only check on it every year or two, at most. Maybe keep it in an empty room with quadruple motion sensor alarms, to detect if the snail manages to escape. After all, this is the future and I’m sure the tech exists (if the rest of the humans haven’t bombed themselves into oblivion yet.)
We could go farther, and assume humans are spacefaring at this point. Do you consider trying to launch it into the sun? Into a black hole? You could simply yeet it as far away from yourself as possible. But then you’re getting rid of the only thing that can actually kill you, which you may end up regretting eventually. After all, if you’re the only thing left after the heat death of the universe, you’ll probably be wishing you had kept that snail a little closer to home.
JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
Decoy snails too
Jeanschyso@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Enough wealth to send a snail to space?
RockAndGnome@lemmy.world 10 months ago
*Halloween music gets more intense
Notyou@sopuli.xyz 10 months ago
youtu.be/9VDvgL58h_Y?si=HPxgbBOFF0Subzti
Something like this? I remember this one from a longtime ago. He just never stops coming after the victim.
lugal@sopuli.xyz 10 months ago
Speak for yourself! I get tired easily
RockAndGnome@lemmy.world 10 months ago
It’s ok, I saved you some Mammoth.
ivanafterall@kbin.social 10 months ago
I just woke up and I'm so tired.
EatYouWell@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Mood
samus12345@lemmy.world 10 months ago
“That Terminator is out there. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead!”
FinalRemix@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Gotta 'ove the implacable man trope… terminators and zombies: using out own strengths against us for decades now.
threeduck@aussie.zone 10 months ago
Hey who you calling primit-
Primittititiv-…
HOO
HOOOO HOOO HAA HAAAAAA
RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world 10 months ago
HOOOO HOOO HOOO HAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HOoooo o o
get_the_reference_@midwest.social 10 months ago
Also you said tit Ook OOk OOK HOOHOO HAHOO!
Fridgeratr@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Reject modernity. Return to monke
Shiggles@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
I dunno if a thrown spear counts as “short range” in a primitive world
HikingVet@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
Atlatls are over 20000 y/o and are futher range than just spears.
Bow and arrows show up in the archaeological record ~70000 years ago.
So, yeah both those are longer range than spears and predate writing and most metals.
So if you consider pre bronze age primitive; yes spears are short range.
EatYouWell@lemmy.world 10 months ago
They recently discovered evidence that the atlatl was used 30,000 years ago.
explodicle@local106.com 10 months ago
It was long enough! Most animals just don’t get ranged weapons; it’s as if we’re killing them by merely looking at them.
ZeroXHunter@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Let’s not kid ourselves, the real reason is the POWER OF FRIENDSHIP!
squiblet@kbin.social 10 months ago
Humans never get tired from exercise?
Cannibal_MoshpitV3@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Humans have the highest capacity for endurance and for a very long time we hunted not by being smarter but by literally following animals until they got tired and gave up.
nixcamic@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I believe certain breeds of dogs and horses can keep up with us, but only because we bred them to.
0ops@lemm.ee 10 months ago
To follow an animal often required tracking it when it ran out of sight. Our sense of smell stinks, so we looked for clues on where it went. That’s smart
ssboomman@lemm.ee 10 months ago
That’s plus we are good at throwing things and we sweat. Which means we have range and we can cool off while still being active.
eestileib@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Also, teamwork. Chasing animals in circles and handing off.
0ops@lemm.ee 10 months ago
If they’re fit, not too tired. Humans are some of the best distance runners in the animal kingdom, and we can walk virtually forever. And we can regulate our own body temperature by sweating. And we can carry some extra food and water with us. And we are capable of being excellent trackers as well. The joke in the op is about how humans used to hunt - by chasing an animal until it collapses of exhaustion. Some tribes still do this today
Voyajer@lemmy.world 10 months ago
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persistence_hunting
Still practiced by some
CurlyMoustache@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Depends on what you mean exercise. Sprinting will tire you out, but you will quickly be ready again. Walking you can do almost forever. If you have a decent amount of fat on your body, you are basically a perpetuum mobile (sleep excluded, of course). Your footwear will go before you tire.
Bytemeister@lemmy.world 10 months ago
You can keep walking/running while sleeping/resting
GBU_28@lemm.ee 10 months ago
As a group we do not. Grab 5 buddies, take turns jogging, follow a deer until it either falls off a cliff/gets exhausted/makes some other mistake.
If it runs, chill, just spread out and keep it in sight.
This is how the human do
CookieOfFortune@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Being upright and the ability to sweat through our skin. Most quadrupeds can only exhaust heat through panting, and their diaphragms compress when running so they can’t pant as effectively.
RockAndGnome@lemmy.world 10 months ago
This before deliveroo though
grey@discuss.tchncs.de 10 months ago
And then somebody invented the idea of THROWING a rock and suddenly the game of earth is SOLVED.
PrinceWith999Enemies@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Evolutionary biologist here.
I know this is a recurring meme, and it does have a basis in truth. However, in my opinion, it vastly overemphasizes a single aspect of early humans at the expense of other and more important distinct human qualities (and I’m using this term to also refer to our closely related species and ancestors).
First, the real distinction is sociality. Humans are the most cooperative species of hominid. As someone once said, you will never see two chimpanzees carrying a log together. This translates into being able to coordinate efficient hunting practices in a variety of ecosystems.
Second, and very related, is social learning. Other species can also exhibit social learning, but never to the degree humans do. Most species figure out things in evolutionary time - what counts as food, what counts as danger, the best way to do X, etc. Humans do it daily and pass it on to each other. We learn to kill prey by setting fires in grasslands. We develop tools and teach each other how to make and use them. These are all interlocking effects. The bigger our brains get, the more helpless our babies are, so the more we need societies, which creates increasingly complex social dynamics, which rewards more complex brains, and so on.
In short, it’s intelligence and social learning replacing learning in evolutionary time that made humans successful, possibly to the point of self destruction.
can@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Ah, an optimist
ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I’d also argue that our ability to accurately throw things to a reliable degree plays a huge part in our success as a species.
As far as I’m aware we’re one of the only species capable of accurately throwing things with consistency.
Enk1@lemmy.world 10 months ago
More broadly, we developed more slow twitch muscles that granted us greater fine motor skills, and subsequently the ability to create and use tools. Other apes retained their fast twitch muscles, so their ability to use tools is limited, but pound-for-pound they’re FAR stronger than humans.
PrinceWith999Enemies@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I agree. I don’t know that I’d rank it quite as high as some other factors if we’re trying to find some function for “causal elements for human ecological success” or something like that, but there’s no doubt it was selected for and the degree to which we are good at it is a good indicator of its importance. Good call.
lanolinoil@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Such a great point that really drives home just how much we cooperate and take it for granted.
SkyeStarfall@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 months ago
And then people say competition is what makes society go around.
Nah, cooperation is the core of everything we do, and we should embrace it as much as possible.
rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
This was a very cool and eloquent explanation. Thank you!
Asifall@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Interesting, I admit that I didn’t realize until I just did a little research that persistence hunting as a significant feature in early humans isn’t actually well supported by much if any evidence.
Are there other theories on why humans seem to be almost uniquely good at distance running? Is it a spandrel?
PrinceWith999Enemies@lemmy.world 10 months ago
That’s a fantastic question!
There’s archeological evidence that modern humans were far more mobile than we have generally assumed (see eg David Graeber), but we’re talking 10-20k years ago there, which is very recent in evolutionary time where we’d be talking about physical adaptations.
SJ Gould, who was the origin of the spandrel idea, warned frequently against telling “just so” stories to try to reverse engineer the processes of selection that led to this or that feature. However, I do think that the hominid physique enabled multiple things. It has been observed that you won’t ever see a spider or octopus or dolphin moving fire from one place to another. That’s something that bipeds are able to do, and fire is one of the things we think was a key development. It’s the same with generalized tool use. So we can see there may have been multiple selection pressures leading towards bipedalism.
If distance running were truly a spandrel, we’d have to say that it was a consequence of these selective pressures giving rise to the body plan, but wasn’t itself selected for. I’d be more conservative on that one, and hazard a guess that distance running (or efficiency in long distance movement) was also a selective pressure. I just don’t think the evidence is there to say that it was the dominant one at that time.
Jackinopolis@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
How much does sleep and dreaming contribute to this? Have you looked into how humans dream compared to other animals? Any papers to point to?
PrinceWith999Enemies@lemmy.world 10 months ago
That’s a fascinating question. I am not sure about animal research on dreaming, but Thomas Metzinger is an experimental philosopher (for want of a better term) who studies the basis of the concept of the self as a coherent entity, and his work includes extensive research on phenomena like lucid dreaming, phantom limbs, and out of body experiences. I’m not talking about anything paranormal - there’s conditions under which people’s experience of perception and self become separated from our ordinary experience of “my self is sitting behind my eyeballs.” He collaborates closely with experimental psychologists and neuroscientists, so between his work and references you might be able to see if there’s a correlation.
misophist@lemmy.world 10 months ago
So basically Agent Smith was right. We are a disease, a cancer of this planet.
PrinceWith999Enemies@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I would say that, like chatgpt, agent smith managed to be not entirely wrong but also not right.
Yes, human beings are absolutely massacring life on the planet - the only planet that we know has life on it. I have a whole hours long spiel on the potentials for extraterrestrial life which I’ll spare you, but it’s truthful to say that, as far as we know, we’re all there is. Does that matter? That’s something that people (who are the only beings we know of who ask questions like that) will have to answer. As of now the answer is between undecided and no.
Anyway, unlike what Agent Smith says, literally everything is trying to do the same thing. If anything, the problem is that we’re exactly like all of those other organisms that are spamming the environment with copies of themselves. All of that fun alcohol we use to manage our perception of our existential crises come from the same dynamic - yeasts reproducing on sugars until they poison themselves with their own waste products, for which we as humans found a useful application.
The key is that when the species co-evolve as part of the same ecosystem, they mutually adapt. When one species invades another ecosystem, the other species there haven’t have had a chance to adapt in evolutionary time and so it sends shockwaves and possibly extinctions throughout the system. Some people believe (with a fairly strong argument) that the disappearance of megafauna - big land animals - followed human radiation over the land masses, and didn’t happen in Africa because all of the big animals co-evolved.
So we started out as an invasive species that just went pretty much everyplace. Were finishing up as a species that has the same kind of tight reproductive loop as those yeast friends, but in doing so we are going to take down a lot of our fellow beings.