If you bought a coffee pot requiring network access and give it unrestricted internet then you deserved to become a government pawn
謝謝（不,我沒有精神分裂症）
Submitted 1 day ago by MTZ@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/2d40ae4d-80e5-400a-a24a-810035efccb7.jpeg
Comments
rizzothesmall@sh.itjust.works 6 hours ago
DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
UnimportantHuman@lemmy.ml 5 hours ago
Dude when I tell people I only do pour over coffee people are always like “you know you can get a coffee maker for 20 bucks”
I just prefer how little space these things take up. Plus I rarely drink more than 2-3 cups a day.
DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works 30 minutes ago
Oooo, a family member give me their old drip coffeemaker because I took too long with my French press one time while they were visiting. They honestly thought they were being helpful. It’s been sitting in the closet since the day they left it here.
Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io 1 day ago
My moka pot ain't talkin' to no one.
considine@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
It only sings a sweet burbling song of coffee to me each morning. And afternoon.
Serinus@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I’d recommend one that’s not plastic. (Though I have that same one and use it occasionally.)
pennomi@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Seriously. I’m not really sure why a coffee maker needs to have any technology. My electric kettle is about the highest tech thing in the whole process.
wander1236@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
The steam from the water powers a micro rotor and the coffee acts as an antenna, duh
100_kg_90_de_belin@feddit.it 1 day ago
Water boils. Evaporates to steam. Turbine goes brrrrr.
Fedizen@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
I have a stainless steel one but yeah pour-over gang reporting
caboose2006@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
I’ve got a french press. Is it spying on me for china or France. At this point I don’t care which one.
CaptainBasculin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
All jokes aside, IoT devices suck.
Why does a dishwasher need to connect to a remote server to use its full functionality? Why does my coffee maker need me to start it using an app? At that point it isn’t a feature, it’s a dependency that the company behind will eventually shut down one way or another.
turtlesareneat@piefed.ca 1 day ago
_Eyes his french press suspiciously _
FenrirIII@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Bon jour!
backalleycoyote@lemmy.today 23 hours ago
Mine said “On ne passe pas!”, so I knew it was one of the good ones.
DisgruntledGorillaGang@reddthat.com 4 hours ago
How do they have reams of data on every American?
Dearth@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
what exactly is the concern with China knowing when I make my coffee or use my laundry machine? It’s not like they’re interested in stealing my identity or scamming me out of my savings. Outside of the generally icky-ness of having your data stolen, what’s the endgame?
marxismtomorrow@lemmy.today 6 hours ago
Silly Answer: American morning rituals are sacred. They are to be hidden from our enemies.
Actual Answer:
Small Data sources compiled over time with rough geographic approximation (or direct geographic information such as GPS sensors on phones) as well as likely consumer information can actually form a complete or near complete profile on the habits and locations of individuals, groups, and companies, including military targets. As an example, if we assume all Chinese companies are secretly government controlled (they’re not.) extensions of their spy agency then, for example, a useful profile might include:
Time the alarm clock went off + time water heater gets activated + time coffee maker is set to make coffee + time refrigerator is opened and closed + time recorded by alarm system + video from doorbell cam = Accurate morning routine, including when the house will be empty, when it will be occupied but not actively monitored (during a morning shower), if and when the person might be gone for a run and how long
If you need to target say, a general who you believe has classified information in his home office, then it would be amazing to know all of this. It’d also be easier to just bribe the maid to get what you want (which is how 99% of ‘spying’ operations actually work.)
If you extend that to all things that might form some amount of data on their use, you could get a total profile of everything someone does in a day in their home… or office… or possibly military base.
Now is this is a risk? Yes.
Is this a likely risk? No. Not even a little. Again bribing a maid or maintenance technician is cheaper, easier, and way, way less risky.
Then why do so many
Chineseappliances send this information to unknown and scary ip addresses?Because data is valuable to advertisers, and theoretically it’s valuable to engineers to know how their product is being used. This combined with executives’ push for everything to have an app, because data is valuable and because it makes the product seem ‘modern,’ fully offers a simple explanation on how and why we find ourselves here. But sinophobia in the Amerisraeli Empire is the only way the Epstein class actually maintains any control – if there is an enemy who they accuse of doing even worse, the subjects of the empire let them do anything they way.
Slovene85@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Fedizen@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
hidalgo_islenio@lemmy.world 23 hours ago
Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 1 day ago
Shoots coffee maker Americanly. Shoots toaster too, just to be sure.
LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Do toasters die? I’ve been using the oven whenever I needed toast do to counter space but like the design of a toaster makes me feel like if you shot a hole through a toaster you might just get a toaster that heats most of the bread, and you just have a circle where it doesnt toast. I guess it depends where you shoot it maybe.
Kowowow@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
I had one fail because my brother didn’t know about the release button to it became a fire hazard
Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 1 day ago
I think if you broke the element it wouldn’t work anymore. I honestly just added the toaster because I thought it was funny. I don’t even have one anymore. I have a Ninja Flip multi function toaster oven. Lol.
I refuse to have any “smart” appliances at all
yermaw@sh.itjust.works 7 hours ago
They flipped my mom!?
smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
If the have “reams” of data on me, good luck reading through it all.
[This is a sarcastically humourous take on the fact that the word “reams” is used, which is a measure of blocks of 500 pieces of paper.]
JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 hours ago
I think they meant what they said. They could view it all on a computer screen but if they were to print it out it would probably be 500 reams worth of data on each person.
slowmorella@discuss.tchncs.de 1 day ago
yeah i was also surprised they printed it.
finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Wait until you find out what they’re doing to you through your toilet seat!
MTZ@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I don’t actually mind that. I kinda like that. (secretly)
JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 hours ago
Maybe it’s finally time we start kink-shaming some people.
Gaja0@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
I like to imagine the guy who pitched spying on Americans through their coffee makers like “we need to figure out how much coffee Americans are drinking” and everyone in the room was just fully on board with this genius idea.
EpicMuch@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
I was gifted a thermal insulated coffee mug with built-in battery to keep hot. Connects to phone via Bluetooth. Got warnings that the mug would be able to track all 50+ Bluetooth MAC IDs that are in range (I’m in an apt building). That mug will never get turned on or used
Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Imagine being afraid of a Bluetooth device behaving like every other Bluetooth device ever created.
otacon239@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Except that this hooked into an app and sent all the info about those Bluetooth devices to the manufacturer, which some data collectors can use process of elimination to isolate you. Normal (privacy-respecting) Bluetooth devices do not pass this info to the service provider and only your phone uses it to pair with the device.
lena@gregtech.eu 1 day ago
As @Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com said, that’s how every Bluetooth device works, but I’m also curious what purpose connecting a mug to a phone via Bluetooth serves.
Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
It’s to monitor battery life and adjust temperature, you can usually do both via physical interaction with the warmer, but they offer an app that may display more info or allow more precise control over the temp. Usually the app is completely optional.
LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
No idea, maybe that’s where you see the battery level? I like to imagine the coffee mugs are just chatting amongst themselves.
“Ugh Peggy with her fucking black coffee again, we make it through 15 minutes of work and we’ll be back in here so we can refill … Same shit every morning”.
“You’re telling me, Clyde’s been milking his coffee break for 45 minutes now, I doubt he even remembers telling Terry we were going to send him that paperwork”
blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Are you sure they weren’t MUG IDs?
unmagical@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
The US also has reams of data on every American. The difference is America is using to control, capture, and kill people.
kboos1@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Thought that it would be obvious that your $25 smart coffee maker was spying on you.
ALoafOfBread@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
Oooh new vocab, thanks comrade.
精神分裂症 Jīngshéng fēnliè zhèng Schizophrenia
精神 - mind/mental state 分裂 - split/divided 症 - illness
謝謝（不,我沒有精神分裂症） Xièxiè (bù, wŏ mĕi yòu jīngshéng fēnliè zhèng) Thanks (no, I don’t have schizophrenia)
GreenShimada@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Is that why this stainless steel French press needs wifi to work?
StillAlive@piefed.world 1 day ago
手た経消す屋根多雨
mghackerlady@leminal.space 2 hours ago
I don’t give a rats ass if chinas tracking me. Why? because I don’t live in china nor do I ever plan to. In fact, I’d prefer they track me instead of a US company