turtlesareneat

@turtlesareneat@piefed.ca

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨There's got to be a name for this⁩ ⁨⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  I mean I’m gay but a front hole is a front hole

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Reject modernity, embrace tradition⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  Found the insect

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Tasty!⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  On the grill it’s pretty good, but it does take a long time, and you hollow out the very middle and jam a bunch of butter in there, then tinfoil the whole thing. Keep it at high temp for a full hour. But yeah since learning how to do it, I’ve done it 0 times, so

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨And forgot it when waking up⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m still trying to figure out how it can be simultaneously nighttime and daytime in my dreams so mazel tov, you’re in the AP classes here

  (I think my brain doesn’t render rayleigh scattering)

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨perhaps⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  No that’s when you go gambling while badly greened out

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Disgusted⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  In what way is it a proxy war

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Forever relics⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  A ratcheting driver set is even nicer, you get all the allen tips plus torx, the weird philips variants, etc. Mine has sockets under 3/4” even. I use the thing like 10 times a day.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Now we're cooking with gas!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  According to the MSDS sheet, it releases a “gentle, pleasing odor of cinnamon buns” when heated to temperatures above 600F, and also releases “micro-vitamins” into the air that your body can readily absorb.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨You can't let the ghosts in⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  The odds of him having a televised stroke are pretty high, if that thought helps you brace it

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Kind of want this framed and hung conspicuously in my house, as a lifelong and forever activist

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Darude Sandstorm⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Either way, sales are going to top 6.8 billion trillion dollars next year, among infants alone

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Here we have them going for about 50¢ a leaf, which ain’t bad. I’d like to go ahead and sell my yard… we have some really nice leaves folks

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Brilliant‼️⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  My husband and I used Uber for one of the first times to get back home after a long walk, where we were both inebriated. It was pretty clear and we weren’t trying to hide it, but we weren’t rude, and I was careful not to slam the door or anything. The driver gave us a 1-star rating and it took a long time before I found a few drivers willing to chance it on me in the meantime. I don’t remember that driver but I hope I’ve cut them off in traffic since. You know what, I probably have.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Good Enough⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Having the last letter be on the right wall would have looked a bit more earnest even if still obviously a gag. But I think they wanted to make sure no donors or alumni saw it and misunderstood.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨This homeless character, who doesn't go to the gym and survives on junk food, somehow weights 300lbs of pure muscle⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  This is just a trope everywhere and it’s absurd. Like Project Hail Mary. Yep, a school physics teacher is chiseled and looks like a shaggy sex teddy bear dog. Just like every other physics teacher I’ve met. Yep.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨This crazy assassin character, who doesn't know what shampoo is, somehow would bother shaving her armpits⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Ford struggled with anxiety and imposter syndrome early on, and developed his tough, flippant exterior around that as a coping mechanism. So there are a lot of stories about him saying callous, tough guy things. But he’s quite a softie who really loves the art of acting, so I don’t think he’s really dismissing everything and everyone outright.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Works like a charm⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Instructions unclear and now I have the stickiest rice I’ve ever had

  Good tho

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Well that's my vacation ruined⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  We would come in from the beach or bars drunk, high, and overexcited, but knowing we had to sleep or the next day would be ruined. So we’d turn on a movie to fall asleep to. Unfortunately the last time, it was Addams Family Values, and my ass stayed up extra late watching the whole thing.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨At my house we dine with some goddamn class⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  How my grandfather lived to be 94

  (kidding they all had massive strokes in their 50s)

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨They call me the problem solver⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Umm. Sorry man. There are some good meds that can help with that, like Prazosin, which blocks norepinephrine, which is the fight-or-flight chemical. It also blocks nightmares from being remembered if taken at bedtime. And it keeps your blood pressure like, textbook perfect. If you have a doc you can ask. Good luck. I have PTSD which used to cause the same thing you have.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Especially juvenile mockingbirds who scream like fucking banshees all night, not having learned any melodies and just being desperately horny. This occurs on my roof every spring. Wonderful.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I'm convinced I just crossed over. Someone with a English degree please help me.⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Time to dig up your high school yearbook

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Shhhh! it's sleeping.⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  In that case, the building might actually be built to a very high quality? I’ve never seen a building do that. I would think it’d save lives.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨This Avocado Oil that claims to be “0 Calories” 🙄⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  So to hit my macros tonight I can treat myself to 7 cubic inches of pie. Got it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨culture⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Sir that’s Peter Pan getting railed by Peter Pan.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Love Wins⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Are you supposed to do it? No. Is it safe? Also no. But did lots of our grandfathers run their Christmas lights with an odd mismatch of cords including one of these? Yesss with a cigarette in one hand, a beer in the other, they sure as hell did.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Don’t want your license plate to rust now.⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  This is why populism works against us. We are always trying to high-road everything.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Don’t want your license plate to rust now.⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  The foolproof solution is to sneak up to the camera, at night, with no electronics on your person, and shoot the fucking thing down.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Don’t want your license plate to rust now.⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  And the ICE guy waiting to shoot you in the face

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Fine. _zips up, sulks_⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Fence is decorative