turtlesareneat
@turtlesareneat@piefed.ca
- Comment on 🤍🤍🤍 8 hours ago:
Especially juvenile mockingbirds who scream like fucking banshees all night, not having learned any melodies and just being desperately horny. This occurs on my roof every spring. Wonderful.
- Comment on I'm convinced I just crossed over. Someone with a English degree please help me. 18 hours ago:
Time to dig up your high school yearbook
- Comment on Shhhh! it's sleeping. 1 day ago:
In that case, the building might actually be built to a very high quality? I’ve never seen a building do that. I would think it’d save lives.
- Comment on This Avocado Oil that claims to be “0 Calories” 🙄 3 days ago:
So to hit my macros tonight I can treat myself to 7 cubic inches of pie. Got it.
- Comment on culture 4 days ago:
Sir that’s Peter Pan getting railed by Peter Pan.
- Comment on Love Wins 4 days ago:
Are you supposed to do it? No. Is it safe? Also no. But did lots of our grandfathers run their Christmas lights with an odd mismatch of cords including one of these? Yesss with a cigarette in one hand, a beer in the other, they sure as hell did.
- Comment on Don’t want your license plate to rust now. 6 days ago:
This is why populism works against us. We are always trying to high-road everything.
- Comment on Don’t want your license plate to rust now. 6 days ago:
The foolproof solution is to sneak up to the camera, at night, with no electronics on your person, and shoot the fucking thing down.
- Comment on Don’t want your license plate to rust now. 6 days ago:
And the ICE guy waiting to shoot you in the face
- Comment on Fine. _zips up, sulks_ 6 days ago:
Fence is decorative
- Comment on MemesIRL 1 week ago:
This butt for jokes about anal sex
- Comment on So Healthy 1 week ago:
After seeing this happen with so many other things, it’s hard to think of the corporation as a hapless victim of chance.
- Comment on Delicious 1 week ago:
Key lime pie is our benchmark, a new brand will appear for $7.99 or something, and then 3 weeks later they hike the price up to $14. I am not eating a $14 key lime pie from Kroger. Fuck right off with that.
It’s funny tho how junk food like pies, cakes, and especially CANDY have taken such an inflationary hike - it’s definitely got me eating better, and I am kind of glad for it (and we prove yet again that excise taxes work towards public health, these ones were just done for profit instead of funding waterways or clean air or some shit).
- Comment on Friends. 1 week ago:
Why wouldn’t I want to come home from my gray cubicle job full of annoying people only to turn on a nice gray cubicle full of annoying people
- Comment on Hopeposting 1 week ago:
You can try it, it’s called being a happiness pump (in sociological terms), and it’s a fairly good way to go through life, but you’ll snap every so often and maybe kill a family or two. Like everything in life, it’s about finding the right balance for yourself.
- Comment on Police HATE this one weird trick 1 week ago:
Eh it’s playing on that usage, but the tongue is firmly in the cheek enough that it’s obviously not meant in a non-ironic way. As a queer guy I could see playing with the phrase that way, much like how my friends call each other the F word, and people wear “he/him/daddy” shirts at Pride, and all sorts of other ways we can make fun of ourselves and not take ourselves dead serious 100% of the time, which turns people off.
- Comment on 1 week ago:
I grew up in Iowa, you could tell an old timer based on the way they pronounce it. We had a stereotype of Missourians always “warshing” their clothes and “fixing” their dinners. “You talk with that lazy mouth like you’re from down Mizzurah.”
- Comment on [deleted] 2 weeks ago:
This is one of those “cute overbearing dad” things until you realize you don’t have appropriate boundaries and it’s influencing your life in ways you don’t like, which usually happens sooner or later. Family counseling is a good place to start if you aren’t sure how to start that conversation. And I say that as a dad that will probably have to be talked down when my own kid hits dating age.
Kids get hurt, it’s not a parent’s job to stop that from happening, nor avenge them. It’s the parent’s job to teach them resilient, appropriate coping techniques.
- Comment on The power to shitpost more 2 weeks ago:
New alt history just dropped. The Dell Dude has never been happier since transitioning into Adele.
- Comment on the Home Alone house then and now 3 weeks ago:
In 1990 that was the height of sophistication. Today, Millennial white/gray is the height of sophistication. What can we learn? Trends in home design/decor are bad. Stick to something timeless and you won’t think it’s outdated every few years.
- Comment on Gotta shit the right way 3 weeks ago:
The best part is, the artist could have walked to their nearest bathroom to notice toilets go down through the floor, but they decided, nah let’s elephant trunk this shit, that’s gotta be how it works.
- Comment on The most unrealistic part of Odyssey is the journey taking 20 years 3 weeks ago:
The new testament
- Comment on [deleted] 3 weeks ago:
Imagine a woman so good she throws acid on her own face to save you the time and expense
- Comment on Civic duty 3 weeks ago:
So this container has two lids, and they posed it on top of one, in front of another, because that’s how you do
- Comment on Civic duty 3 weeks ago:
It’s weird how sometimes y’all will engage with an AI image like it’s real without further discussion
- Comment on [deleted] 3 weeks ago:
Flipside tho, some of us are turned off by guys with shaved pits. Probably not enough to matter to you, but it’s a thing.
- Comment on Maybe 3 weeks ago:
I still remember the day in 1991 when I was home sick, and Cinemax was showing The Who’s Tommy, and I tuned in right before the baked bean scene - I just thought it was some boring old movie and then BEANS, BEANS EVERWHERE. And that’s when I realized what every teenage boy in 1970 knew; Anne Margaret was a freak.
- Comment on Gotta make sure your watching its back 4 weeks ago:
And then walk on your couch and bed with little shitmittens that’ve been scooping through their litter. I’ve got both, at least dogs don’t pretend they’re not stepping in their own pee.
- Comment on forklift 4 weeks ago:
It’d definitely need to be a BIG rubber band
- Comment on 4 weeks ago:
Yeah, but like, I kind of feel that way about prostitution (like I am not going to enjoy myself with someone who’s being paid to pretend they’re enjoying it) but also, I know a few sex workers who’ve told me how much of their job is just companionship and listening, holding while people cry, etc. So it’s clearly an outlet for some people. We really need to attack the disconnection and loneliness at the root of this, not the symptoms manifested by those suffering.