Todayâs weather forecast (Melbourne CBD, 3000): min - 19°C, max - 29°C. 90% chance of no rain
the exhaustion from field work after not doing it regularly has hit me like a ton of bricks, but it is lovely having a few more days of fresh air and slow, quiet life with company, off my phone most of the time. I definitely need an extended break from the city once Iâm done with things.
Having a tense moment with sibling who wants to split the annual health insurance for mum by 3 and saying how heâs just dropped 17k on his kids overseas uni feesâŠ
rant
My two other sibs outearn me by 3-5x and are also significantly older. This insurance costs a bomb (11k AUD/ year and growing - in a country with universal healthcare), and was richest sibâs idea back when he earned a lot more. Eldest sib has always financially supported mum the most (he has always been a high earner). But he is also the most emotionally distant and meanest to my mum and doesnât recognise the health impact that has on her (or that his contempt is obvious). His own kids have been spoiled most of their lives and he had a very cruel divorce and now needs to fork out a lot to keep his kids going. I feel an unspoken expectation to be catching up to their high earning jobs and shouldering the financial burden equally. I steadfastly refuse however to accept this. It has made me rather upset 1. I chose not to have kids partly because theyâre so expensive. I hate being guilt tripped into now having to pay up more than I can afford because i chose not to reproduce. The insinuation that my choices are less noble is low-class and narrow -minded. 2. I refuse to be dragged into the unhappy trap of flogging myself to earn more, at the cost of energy to attend to the more fundamental and important things in life like being present for others. It has taken over a decade for me to be ok with not reaching the heights of others and wanting to craft a simpler life that focuses my energies better. I am not about to be conned out of this by those whose lives I never ever want to lead. 3. My mum is no saint and she has had trouble with emotional relationships much of her life due to her own brain quirks and traumas, I donât hold it against my sibs for being cold to her if they feel no love. but it is utterly despicable to me that the eldest then claims the upper ground for financially supporting her as compensation. 4. Mum is happiest being frugal and taking care of her own health, she herself questions the need for this insurance. My sibling comes up with horror stories of how she would end up in a shitty hospital ward without it and how miserable she would be. Meanwhile she is feels lonely and low NOW partly because heâs the only one in the same country as her and is totally contemptuous of her, and thatâs no concern to him. I refuse to relate to my mother the way he does, and reject the expectation that I should cough up otherwise Iâm heartless and selfish⊠I worked hard to move here and escape the narrative from our home country that life is a miserable slog and money matters above all else in the real world. I wonât be pulled down by crabs in the bucket.
StudChud@aussie.zone âš3â© âšmonthsâ© ago
Hello, I am here. Never left just stopped posting. I was quitting smoking, since new years. Iâve been withdrawing, and all the lovely symptoms that go along with it have been wrecking me.
I made it to today and relapsed.
I donât want to die of cancer.
I WILL try again after this pouch. đȘđŒ
MeanElevator@aussie.zone âš3â© âšmonthsâ© ago
Ditch the pouch and pretend it didnât happen.
Quitting cigs is ridiculously hard. Canât remember how many tries it took me. Finally kicked it, but the first relapse isnât the end.
StudChud@aussie.zone âš3â© âšmonthsâ© ago
Iâll try to.
This is the second time I tried. First time I made it 9 months. Just 9 days this time. But I can do it. Itâs only going to be healthier for me and my household.
Baku@aussie.zone âš3â© âšmonthsâ© ago
Glad youâre still around. I must admit, I was getting worried about you as well
Iâve never been in your position, so I donât want to offer useless advice. But Iâm glad youâre working on it as best you can. Itâs a hard habit to kick
Also, if I might insert my 2c: you made it 10 days. Youâve just proved to yourself you can do it. Sometimes it just takes a few goes. When my mum was trying to quit, the first time she made it 16 hours. The 2nd time she made it 2 days. Then 4. She âfailedâ every time, but AFAIK sheâs managed to break out now, and no longer smokes
StudChud@aussie.zone âš3â© âšmonthsâ© ago
Thank you Baku. Itâs one of the hardest things Iâve ever done. I thought losing weight would be hard, but that only took cutting out soft drinks and OMAD. This shit is insidious.
Iâm really happy to hear your mum quit! Thatâs fantastic! Besides, we only fail to quit when we stop trying to quit. She never failed, she succeeded!! Your advice is not useless and neither are you đđđđ
Bottom_racer@aussie.zone âš3â© âšmonthsâ© ago
ooh itâs hard to kick.
I tried with vapes but realistically just replaced one addiction with another heh.
You got this but donât beat yourself up if thereâs a cheeky accident along the way.
Eagle@aussie.zone âš3â© âšmonthsâ© ago
Sending strength to Spud! A step forward, no matter how small, is still a step. The patches worked for me, just enough to take the edge off so smoking wasnât my only thought. It changed it to an every 5 second thought instead. 12 years free in April this year, and if I can do it, you can too.
PeelerSheila@aussie.zone âš3â© âšmonthsâ© ago
Hey good to hear from you! hugs quitting smoking is the hardest thing I ever did (I smoked for 20+ years). Mr P finds it too hard, refuses to quit and keeps smoking (heâs been smoking for 50+ years). Good on you for getting this far, itâs often a case where you quit in sort of fits and starts before you quit for good. One thing I found really helpful was cutting down with a view to quitting. Over time I went from a pack a day to half a pack, to 6 cigs a day. Then I started to view it in terms of time. It took me 10 minutes to smoke a cigarette, so 6 smokes = 1 hour of the day spent smoking. I told myself, âstop complaining about not having enough hours in the day when youâre wasting an hour every day!â Whatever works, the most important thing is to keep trying. Every time you try and donât succeed, you learn more about what your triggers were and what made you start again, so the next time you try I find youâre more mindful and prepared and more likely to succeed. It took me about 15 goes before I was successful, so please donât beat yourself up too much about it. Youâll get there!
StudChud@aussie.zone âš3â© âšmonthsâ© ago
This is so comprehensive thank you! I really appreciate your understanding.
The first time I made it 9 months, but this time only 9 days. I relapsed the first time when I went to get some drinks with mates and I had one of their ciggies đ€ŠđŒââïž
This time itâs just my mental health, but if I can quit I can put that money towards actual therapy instead of this bullshit lol. But I will try until it fucking sticks. I want to be here for my cat and my partner.
TinyBreak@aussie.zone âš3â© âšmonthsâ© ago
Pouch? Bruh I say this with love: You fell off the horse and thats totally fine! but throw the rest out. Start now. every extra one you have after the relapse makes it so much harder to quit.
I STILL want a smoke 8 years later and I only ever smoked when drunk.
StudChud@aussie.zone âš3â© âšmonthsâ© ago
This is a great idea, Iâll try! Iâve only had one so far and just had a cry in the bathroom đ lol
I really appreciate your support and understanding.
Taleya@aussie.zone âš3â© âšmonthsâ© ago
nope. donâtâ do the full pouch. Cut that shit, smoke your day, then JUNK IT. give it to a neighbor, toss it on bin night, get rid of it.
You will slip up. it happens. Dontâ keep it around when you do. it makes it easier to keep slipping
RustyRaven@aussie.zone âš3â© âšmonthsâ© ago
Quitting is hard. Every attempt teaches us something we can use for the next attempt, eventually you hit on the right thing that works for you.
Just donât use my Dadâs method. He tried to quit once. It didnât work, so instead of trying again he just pretended he didnât smoke and spent years furtively sneaking off to smoke and buy cigarettes like a teenager. He somehow seemed to fool himself into thinking no one knew, even though it was incredibly obvious. It was bizarre, and meant that when he was finally forced to quit (when he was physically incapable of accessing cigarettes on his own) he had to go through the withdrawal alone and unsupported because he still couldnât admit he had been smoking the whole time.
Duenan@aussie.zone âš3â© âšmonthsâ© ago
I canât speak as if Iâve had any experience with smoking but all the best and good luck!
Keep at it and never give up!
Bottom_racer@aussie.zone âš3â© âšmonthsâ© ago
Holâ up.
dumblederp@aussie.zone âš3â© âšmonthsâ© ago
Took me a hundred goes to quit, keep at it.
melbaboutown@aussie.zone âš3â© âšmonthsâ© ago
Itâs ok, you can try again.
Potentially unwanted 2 cents/how I managed it
I had a terrible time quitting and what worked to get me off the cigs and then completely smoke free was a cheap reusable vape. I mixed my own liquid or used 0% liquid and very slowly diluted the strength down until I was completely off nicotine. Vaping is not without risks. And the long term effects havenât been studied. But with a view to quitting if you do try this - get a prescription for the nicotine - buy reputable supplies, including pure glycerin (or premade 0% liquid) - use a dedicated online calculator for the dilutions and measure accurately - keep everything clean - avoid butter flavours (diacetyl) or use unflavoured - donât use your device with too little liquid in the tank or dry - drip the liquid into new disposable coils/filters to soak them fully before use (so the cotton doesnât burn) - replace coils the second they get burned or dirty you shouldnât have too many issues in the time it takes you to quit. Stay away from the black market vapes. You donât know the strength or whatâs in them. And the breathing issues that were reported on in the news were very likely lipid pneumonia, which happens when thereâs oil in the liquid. Probably some dodgy black market operator used glycerin intended for the beauty industry containing vitamin e oil.
Seagoon_@aussie.zone âš3â© âšmonthsâ© ago
so many hugs
You can do this. đȘđ»
LowExperience2368@aussie.zone âš3â© âšmonthsâ© ago
Good to hear from you, Spud.
The first step to change is realising that it would be good to change something. You can do it. đ