Boomer humor.
There are some downsides to marriage
Submitted 4 months ago by Mickey7@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/83e71e04-b267-46cc-8f90-dc2427a5f67b.jpeg
Comments
hperrin@lemmy.ca 4 months ago
zea_64@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 months ago
I don’t understand how people end up married to someone they only kinda like and tolerate. Idk if I’ll ever marry because I want to be very sure we love each other and are compatible before making big decisions like that.
ArsonButCute@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 months ago
From experience: in the US especially we’re sold this idea of the nuclear family: a husband, a wife, 2.5 kids and a dog with a picketed yard. It sounds nice, when that’s how you’ve grown up and how your friends have grown up and how your parents live and how your grandparents live. We’re sold this idea, this lie, so intensely because our country wants us to be in these easy to control family units designed to enforce patriarchy.
When a man is taught his job is to be a patriarchy, to be stoic, to be the protector and provider, he forgets his own needs. When aan forgets his own needs, he unwittingly lies to those close to him, those who love him. Those who think he loves them, beyond familial tie.
These are doubly so for those of us who are neurodivergent, as were taught from birth that we must suppress our own needs so those around us will tolerate us. It doesn’t matter if I loved her or not, she loved me and that means I have a responsibility.
Anyway those are just my 2 cents, but what do I know, I’m just a late 20s divorced autistic trans woman, cishet relationships are an enigma to me.
zea_64@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 months ago
Even as a kid, that “ideal” seemed miserable to me. I guess I kinda see it if we adjust it to me being transbian, but it’s still not ideal. I think I’d be a lot happier in a much more communal culture, which is the opposite of the American Dream.
I’m also not monogamist, so uh, yeah, that’s very not compatible with this system.
ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 4 months ago
For all those young people trying to figure out of they are compatible and should get married …
If you can both afford it … go on an international trip together for at least two weeks.
Organizing together for something this expensive shows both how committed each other are to one another.
Spending every single day with each other figuring out how to live with each other during a complicated, sometimes difficult, but very real situations that have to be dealt with shows who each person really is and how they handle things. It gets even more revealing when you both end up in a situation where you are both tired, hungry and stressed out. Even if you are a good planner and organize every hour of a trip, not everything works out and it’s those moments that show who you really are. And the longer your trip lasts, the more these events happen and the more you see the other person because you have to rely on one another in a foreign country.
I went to Thailand with my wife after we got together (we never officially married because we just didn’t care about that). We didn’t have much money and most expensive part of the trip was the flight to get there. We stayed in hostels, huts, bungalows and shady places and spent every day fearful, hot, confused and wondering what to do next. We did it for a month and we grew to love and trust one another through some really crazy shit. That was 26 years ago and we still talk about it.
My favorite story about this was a couple we knew years ago. They took one motorcycle and went on a four month journey around North America on their honeymoon. They went as far as Alaska, the Atlantic coast, Pacific coast, gulf of Mexico and down to Panama and back. They’re still together after 60 years.
JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 4 months ago
That’s kind of classist ngl, implying that you should only get married if you can afford a two week international vacation?
Or European, but that’s still holding something over my American, married on a beach by my mother in law, right back to work, no honeymoon no money for gifts no vacation time to take anyway ass.
But I understand the sentiment, I’d been with my partner 11 years before we got married, we knew how bad it could get without being the Griswalds
robocall@lemmy.world 4 months ago
People get horny and lonely, are willing to make a lot of compromises to change that. and complacency happens over time. Throw kids in the mix, and everything gets intensified.
Mickey7@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Agreed. I you are a woman why would you engage in sexual activities that you don’t really enjoy? If you are a guy why would you push a person that you supposeddly love to perform sex acts that she doesn’t want to do.
zea_64@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 months ago
More than that: if you seem incompatible, why are you hiding it behind resentful jokes instead of actually confronting it?
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 4 months ago
True, but people should express their wants and needs in life.
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 4 months ago
It doesn’t usually start out that way. People get complacent and other life shit happens that they start to prioritize over their partner. Then resentment builds and everything goes to hell.
oldfart@lemm.ee 4 months ago
You know the boomer joke about spouse becoming a different person after marriage/childbirth? This is how.
Let the downvotes begin.
FelixCress@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Since when is it a “joke”?
dingus@lemmy.world 4 months ago
So many married couples I know tend to talk as if they absolutely hate their spouse. I never understood it. If you hate them that much, then why are you married??? Very rarely do people seem to have a mutually appreciative relationship with one another. As someone who never really bothered with dating, the whole concept of people staying with someone they hate so much has forever confused me.
zea_64@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 months ago
My guess is the assholeness is also built up resentment, because clear communication is socially taboo. We use euphemisms and hints, we say things without saying it, we avoid being rude and hide feelings. I’ve always hated that.
Retro_unlimited@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Take the time to know someone as a friend for a long time, date slowly and get to know them well.
I met my wife in college and we took it very slow for 8 years or so and then got married, and now we have been married about the same. We didn’t rush into marriage, kids, etc.
Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Add a few decades to any decision. You probably won’t feel the same.
AA5B@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Maybe you’re taking the joke too seriously. No one and no relationship is perfect. I can easily be both in a solid relationship with the love of my life and have some areas of frustration to vent in sexism jokes. Of course she may be frustrated enough to divorce me out of the blue, so I guess the joke is on me
SkyeStarfall@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 months ago
I can’t say I’ve ever had a relationship or friend that made me want to do sexist jokes about them
hperrin@lemmy.ca 4 months ago
Religion.
gofsckyourself@lemmy.world 4 months ago
This is a shit post, not a shitpost
BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee 4 months ago
Haha I hate my wife!
Passerby6497@lemmy.world 4 months ago
HA HA HA DEAD BEDROOM
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 4 months ago
It’s a real thing that happens
Bacano@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Yeah. statistically a woman’s sex drive begins to fall after a year. Sex researchers call it “the tragedy of the male sex drive.”
I highly recommend The Science of Sex by Baumeister and Tice. It’s full of surprising insights.
Badtouchspez@lemm.ee 4 months ago
Wife bad amirite
frostysauce@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Are the straights OK?
Acinonyx@lemmy.sdf.org 4 months ago
according to suicide statistics they’re better than non-straights
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 4 months ago
But that’s because of society not relationships
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 4 months ago
All I’ll say is I’ve been married 24 years and this comic does not apply to me.
Klnsfw@lemmynsfw.com 4 months ago
With this kind of attitude, his mop is better at making things wet than he is.
ThomasCrappersGhost@feddit.uk 4 months ago
That’s not even a mop.
robocall@lemmy.world 4 months ago
that’s what she said
workerONE@lemmy.world 4 months ago
It’s nice that they are cleaning together
Mickey7@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Maybe they could work together to clean out some of the water pipes in the house
poplargrove@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Rooty@lemmy.world 4 months ago
FW:FW:FW:FW:RE:Lol!
Eww@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Wash your taint FFS!
random_character_a@lemmy.world 4 months ago
I hope she’s his sister or the poor fella is not gonna get any for some time.
Im_old@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Well sounds like he isn’t getting any anyway so might as well have fun with it.
It’s what all marriage counselors suggest really /j
mycelium_underground@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Roll tide
robocall@lemmy.world 4 months ago
do you call your siblings “babe”?
random_character_a@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Maybe their parents really like 90’s childrens movies.
FelixCress@lemmy.world 4 months ago
He also calls his mum “honey”.
Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 4 months ago
The suck is what you gotta keep focused in the right area. Typically the groin
RavenFellBlade@startrek.website 4 months ago
I cannot relate.
nifty@lemmy.world 4 months ago
lol so many downvotes to this
Mickey7@lemmy.world 4 months ago
People come to a lemmy group for a laugh and then there are those who just can’t laugh about anything. They must be very sad people
rockerface@lemm.ee 4 months ago
wife bad amirite fellow men
Valmond@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Fellow boomers
son_named_bort@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Father I cannot click the book.
hmonkey@lemy.lol 4 months ago
You could easily reverse the genders and this would still be funny. He’s saying it to her face, it’s like a roast
rockerface@lemm.ee 4 months ago
It’s not really funny with any genders. I guess I’ve had too many “roasts” to my face
SkyeStarfall@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 months ago
Sad motherfuckers for calling out a shitty "spouse “bad” joke?
No, it’s just people are super tired of hearing about jokes being made at the expense of people you’re supposed to love lmao. That’s like the exact opposite of “sad motherfuckers”.