Boomer humor.
There are some downsides to marriage
Submitted 1 year ago by Mickey7@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/83e71e04-b267-46cc-8f90-dc2427a5f67b.jpeg
Comments
hperrin@lemmy.ca 1 year ago
zea_64@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 year ago
I don’t understand how people end up married to someone they only kinda like and tolerate. Idk if I’ll ever marry because I want to be very sure we love each other and are compatible before making big decisions like that.
ArsonButCute@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 year ago
From experience: in the US especially we’re sold this idea of the nuclear family: a husband, a wife, 2.5 kids and a dog with a picketed yard. It sounds nice, when that’s how you’ve grown up and how your friends have grown up and how your parents live and how your grandparents live. We’re sold this idea, this lie, so intensely because our country wants us to be in these easy to control family units designed to enforce patriarchy.
When a man is taught his job is to be a patriarchy, to be stoic, to be the protector and provider, he forgets his own needs. When aan forgets his own needs, he unwittingly lies to those close to him, those who love him. Those who think he loves them, beyond familial tie.
These are doubly so for those of us who are neurodivergent, as were taught from birth that we must suppress our own needs so those around us will tolerate us. It doesn’t matter if I loved her or not, she loved me and that means I have a responsibility.
Anyway those are just my 2 cents, but what do I know, I’m just a late 20s divorced autistic trans woman, cishet relationships are an enigma to me.
zea_64@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 year ago
Even as a kid, that “ideal” seemed miserable to me. I guess I kinda see it if we adjust it to me being transbian, but it’s still not ideal. I think I’d be a lot happier in a much more communal culture, which is the opposite of the American Dream.
I’m also not monogamist, so uh, yeah, that’s very not compatible with this system.
ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 1 year ago
For all those young people trying to figure out of they are compatible and should get married …
If you can both afford it … go on an international trip together for at least two weeks.
Organizing together for something this expensive shows both how committed each other are to one another.
Spending every single day with each other figuring out how to live with each other during a complicated, sometimes difficult, but very real situations that have to be dealt with shows who each person really is and how they handle things. It gets even more revealing when you both end up in a situation where you are both tired, hungry and stressed out. Even if you are a good planner and organize every hour of a trip, not everything works out and it’s those moments that show who you really are. And the longer your trip lasts, the more these events happen and the more you see the other person because you have to rely on one another in a foreign country.
I went to Thailand with my wife after we got together (we never officially married because we just didn’t care about that). We didn’t have much money and most expensive part of the trip was the flight to get there. We stayed in hostels, huts, bungalows and shady places and spent every day fearful, hot, confused and wondering what to do next. We did it for a month and we grew to love and trust one another through some really crazy shit. That was 26 years ago and we still talk about it.
My favorite story about this was a couple we knew years ago. They took one motorcycle and went on a four month journey around North America on their honeymoon. They went as far as Alaska, the Atlantic coast, Pacific coast, gulf of Mexico and down to Panama and back. They’re still together after 60 years.
JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 1 year ago
That’s kind of classist ngl, implying that you should only get married if you can afford a two week international vacation?
Or European, but that’s still holding something over my American, married on a beach by my mother in law, right back to work, no honeymoon no money for gifts no vacation time to take anyway ass.
But I understand the sentiment, I’d been with my partner 11 years before we got married, we knew how bad it could get without being the Griswalds
robocall@lemmy.world 1 year ago
People get horny and lonely, are willing to make a lot of compromises to change that. and complacency happens over time. Throw kids in the mix, and everything gets intensified.
Mickey7@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Agreed. I you are a woman why would you engage in sexual activities that you don’t really enjoy? If you are a guy why would you push a person that you supposeddly love to perform sex acts that she doesn’t want to do.
zea_64@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 year ago
More than that: if you seem incompatible, why are you hiding it behind resentful jokes instead of actually confronting it?
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 1 year ago
True, but people should express their wants and needs in life.
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 1 year ago
It doesn’t usually start out that way. People get complacent and other life shit happens that they start to prioritize over their partner. Then resentment builds and everything goes to hell.
oldfart@lemm.ee 1 year ago
You know the boomer joke about spouse becoming a different person after marriage/childbirth? This is how.
Let the downvotes begin.
FelixCress@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Since when is it a “joke”?
dingus@lemmy.world 1 year ago
So many married couples I know tend to talk as if they absolutely hate their spouse. I never understood it. If you hate them that much, then why are you married??? Very rarely do people seem to have a mutually appreciative relationship with one another. As someone who never really bothered with dating, the whole concept of people staying with someone they hate so much has forever confused me.
zea_64@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 year ago
My guess is the assholeness is also built up resentment, because clear communication is socially taboo. We use euphemisms and hints, we say things without saying it, we avoid being rude and hide feelings. I’ve always hated that.
Retro_unlimited@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Take the time to know someone as a friend for a long time, date slowly and get to know them well.
I met my wife in college and we took it very slow for 8 years or so and then got married, and now we have been married about the same. We didn’t rush into marriage, kids, etc.
Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Add a few decades to any decision. You probably won’t feel the same.
AA5B@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Maybe you’re taking the joke too seriously. No one and no relationship is perfect. I can easily be both in a solid relationship with the love of my life and have some areas of frustration to vent in sexism jokes. Of course she may be frustrated enough to divorce me out of the blue, so I guess the joke is on me
SkyeStarfall@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 year ago
I can’t say I’ve ever had a relationship or friend that made me want to do sexist jokes about them
hperrin@lemmy.ca 1 year ago
Religion.
gofsckyourself@lemmy.world 1 year ago
This is a shit post, not a shitpost
BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Haha I hate my wife!
Passerby6497@lemmy.world 1 year ago
HA HA HA DEAD BEDROOM
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 1 year ago
It’s a real thing that happens
Bacano@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Yeah. statistically a woman’s sex drive begins to fall after a year. Sex researchers call it “the tragedy of the male sex drive.”
I highly recommend The Science of Sex by Baumeister and Tice. It’s full of surprising insights.
Badtouchspez@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Wife bad amirite
frostysauce@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Are the straights OK?
Acinonyx@lemmy.sdf.org 1 year ago
according to suicide statistics they’re better than non-straights
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 1 year ago
But that’s because of society not relationships
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 year ago
All I’ll say is I’ve been married 24 years and this comic does not apply to me.
Klnsfw@lemmynsfw.com 1 year ago
With this kind of attitude, his mop is better at making things wet than he is.
ThomasCrappersGhost@feddit.uk 1 year ago
That’s not even a mop.
robocall@lemmy.world 1 year ago
that’s what she said
workerONE@lemmy.world 1 year ago
It’s nice that they are cleaning together
Mickey7@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Maybe they could work together to clean out some of the water pipes in the house
poplargrove@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Rooty@lemmy.world 1 year ago
FW:FW:FW:FW:RE:Lol!
Eww@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Wash your taint FFS!
random_character_a@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I hope she’s his sister or the poor fella is not gonna get any for some time.
Im_old@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Well sounds like he isn’t getting any anyway so might as well have fun with it.
It’s what all marriage counselors suggest really /j
mycelium_underground@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Roll tide
robocall@lemmy.world 1 year ago
do you call your siblings “babe”?
random_character_a@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Maybe their parents really like 90’s childrens movies.
FelixCress@lemmy.world 1 year ago
He also calls his mum “honey”.
Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 1 year ago
The suck is what you gotta keep focused in the right area. Typically the groin
RavenFellBlade@startrek.website 1 year ago
I cannot relate.
nifty@lemmy.world 1 year ago
lol so many downvotes to this
Mickey7@lemmy.world 1 year ago
People come to a lemmy group for a laugh and then there are those who just can’t laugh about anything. They must be very sad people
rockerface@lemm.ee 1 year ago
wife bad amirite fellow men
Valmond@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Fellow boomers
son_named_bort@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Father I cannot click the book.
hmonkey@lemy.lol 1 year ago
You could easily reverse the genders and this would still be funny. He’s saying it to her face, it’s like a roast
rockerface@lemm.ee 1 year ago
It’s not really funny with any genders. I guess I’ve had too many “roasts” to my face
SkyeStarfall@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 year ago
Sad motherfuckers for calling out a shitty "spouse “bad” joke?
No, it’s just people are super tired of hearing about jokes being made at the expense of people you’re supposed to love lmao. That’s like the exact opposite of “sad motherfuckers”.