I mean they say he raised from the dead and all.
yup.
Should we consider Jesus a zombie?
Submitted 4 months ago by TehBamski@lemmy.world to [deleted]
Comments
Varyk@sh.itjust.works 4 months ago
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 4 months ago
That’s Catholics.
DeltaTangoLima@reddrefuge.com 4 months ago
No, it’s not just Catholics who take communion.
Source: Mum tried to raise me Anglican.
DemBoSain@midwest.social 4 months ago
Are Lutherans catholic? I went to church a few times with my cousins years and years ago, and they were Lutheran. I snagged communion with them once, my aunt was so mad…
sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 4 months ago
Assuming Jesus was a normal human being, one of many wandering apocalyptic Jewish preachers of the era… no, he’s just a dead cult leader who became legendary following exaggerated stories about him becoming popular after his death.
…
Assuming you attempt to take any of these stories seriously, it depends on your interpretation and which stories you believe hold precedence over others.
Paul seems to refer to Jesus as having a glorified spiritual/phantom kind of body, which evidently looks like a person but is capable of flying and either teleporting or phasing through walls. Paul never actually refers to a physical/fleshy Jesus.
Marcion and his followers embraced these ideas over the later Gospels, and rejected the idea that Jesus had been crucified, that he was physical/flesh whatsoever.
The Gospels however, refer to Jesus very much having a human body, with holes from his crucifixion, (the doubting Thomas story), who eats and sleeps. so this is more in line with a zombie or lich.
But, there’s also Jesus’ slew of powers/miracles that basically make him into a conjuration capable mage, a healing capable cleric, a necromancer, who raises the dead, a summoner of spirits (the transfiguration, Moses and Elijah come down from Heaven), and whatever kind of mage type spell is needed to either vanish or fly off into heaven.
So basically he’s a custom or multi or hybrid class going by different kinds of TTRPG rules… ???
The entities that were almost certainly zombies were all of the dead who rose from their graves upon the moment of Jesus death in Matthew 27 51-53.
They then waited around the cemetery for the three days it took for Jesus to be resurrected, and then wandered around Jerusalem and ‘were seen by many’.
…
The nature of Jesus physical form vs spiritual form was part of considerable contention amongst early Christians: Was Jesus God incarnated as a human, or was he a human Messiah blessed by God… or… both?
Eventually the concept of the Trinity was decided on, but this was after several hundred years of competing sects and stories and texts.
Early Christian sects varied wildly on … basically everything, from whether or not the old Jewish law and customs needed to be adhered to, to which stories about Jesus were true and which were false…
The Essenes believed that Jesus was a 96 foot tall demi-god/angelic being and that he had a sister, the Holy Spirit, who was female, and also a 96 foot tall demi-god/angel.
The Cerinthians, the Valentinians and the Sethians seemed to all follow a line of thought which eventually became the Gospel of Judas, which proposes that Yahweh is actually Yaldabaoth, an evil demiurge amongst a pantheon of other gods, who created this world and all material existence as a kind of prison, and that Jesus was actually ‘from the immortal realm of Barbelo’, come to reveal to us mortals a path to basically escaping the matrix through the enlightenment of learning this and other hidden truths.
(I use ‘escaping the matrix’ deliberately as the Wachowskis themselves incorporated Gnostic ideas into the movies, as well as concepts from many other religions and philosophers)
So this Jesus would be less like a zombie and be more like Neo getting up after being shot by Smith: Jesus is but a man, he is a physical incarnation in a world with physical rules, but he can sometimes bend or break these rules.
His true essence, his Spirit, is a separate entity that is elsewhere, in another realm of existence, and that spirit is basically just piloting the human form ‘Jesus’ as one directs a virtual avatar to move around in a video game.
…
There were and currently are so many different sects of Christianity that uh, basically, Jesus is whatever is determined by whichever canon and theology you accept.
daddy32@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Thanks for the read.
numberfour002@lemmy.world 4 months ago
He’s a bitch. He’s a lover. He’s a child. He’s a zombie. He’s a sinner. He’s a saint.
db2@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Maurice?
No_Eponym@lemmy.ca 4 months ago
He do not feel ashamed!
Supervisor194@lemmy.world 4 months ago
He’s a dream divine and we make love together 🎶
frankPodmore@slrpnk.net 4 months ago
No. Jesus had his intellect and personality intact, which zombies do not.
NB: I’m taking the Gospels as gospel, here. I do not think the man himself rose from the dead.
Mubelotix@jlai.lu 4 months ago
Who said zombies can’t?
frankPodmore@slrpnk.net 4 months ago
You raise a fair point: what exactly is a zombie? To me, a zombie is not a sapient thing, so if it remembers its previous sapience, it’s not a zombie. But zombies aren’t real, which makes it difficult to define them precisely.
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 4 months ago
When I was in college I wanted to make a short film with Jesus as a fuckup: raises Lazarus as a zombie by mistake, needs little kids’ floaty arm things on ankles to walk on water, apostles only hang out with him for the free wine. Never got around to it.
Kyrgizion@lemmy.world 4 months ago
I suppose technically he’s more of a revenant. Higher hit dice.
AreaKode@lemmy.world 4 months ago
SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 months ago
He was Jewish, so a Golem might be a better cultural fit, but I’m pretty sure Jesus was born to a human woman and not made of mud.
Brutticus@lemm.ee 4 months ago
is santa an elf?
JackbyDev@programming.dev 4 months ago
Depends on the universe. The Santa Clause? Explicitly human.
AbouBenAdhem@lemmy.world 4 months ago
According to the Wikipedia article on West African Vodun:
Many vodúnsɛntó practice their traditional religion alongside Christianity, for instance by interpreting Jesus Christ as a vodún. […] The possessed person is often referred to as the vodún itself.
DeathsEmbrace@lemmy.ml 4 months ago
But he doesn’t want brain (˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵).
bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 4 months ago
Yes.
Donjuanme@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Jesus was a hovercraft.
Magic Woody Allen zombie super hero komodo dragon telepathic quantum hovercraft Jesus.
amio@lemmy.world 4 months ago
In canon (hue hue) nah, “God did it” which explains anything.
tiefling@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 months ago
metostopholes@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Image
Kolanaki@yiffit.net 4 months ago
So is the Spear of Destiny his phylactery?
Fondots@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Holy Grail feels more apt, vessel filled with his semi-literal blood sound phylactery-ish to me
Thavron@lemmy.ca 4 months ago
What do condoms have to do with anything?
VindictiveJudge@lemmy.world 4 months ago
He’s clearly a divine soul sorcerer who went to zero HP one session, then remembered he had Unearthly Recovery the next session but had already rolled a new character.
Steve@communick.news 4 months ago
Classic Vodo zombies weren’t mindless eaters of brains.
They were fully cognizant people raised to carry out someone’s will.
That could apply.
s1ndr0m3@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead. So does that mean he was a lich before the crucifixion?
huginn@feddit.it 4 months ago
Gotta be a lich before you die or else you don’t come back
skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 4 months ago
He was a high level cleric, obviously.
MindTraveller@lemmy.ca 4 months ago
Fake news. Jesus was a Revenant.
tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 4 months ago
Jesus went to hell and came back. He looks nothing like a hell revenant
Image
JackbyDev@programming.dev 4 months ago
Where phylactery?