I think the real question here is wtf kind of crazy doorknob is that?!?!?
Door mat subscription is $29.99 per month
Submitted 6 months ago by Ultragigagigantic@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/ecd9dc94-833d-4a9a-9511-b9c83ba8c5c0.png
Comments
MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Raptor_007@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I’m betting this is less of a knob and more of an immobile handle.
cm0002@lemmy.world 6 months ago
That just makes this even more evil lol
Obi@sopuli.xyz 6 months ago
You’d be correct, my front door works similarly (minus the key-swallower under it).
nodiet@feddit.de 6 months ago
What’s the difference? (Asking as a non-native English speaker)
Madison420@lemmy.world 6 months ago
90° rotated robotic horse penis and it. Is. A. Fan. Of. Yoooohooouuuu!
JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Small pistol grip, John woo style.
5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
I’d keep the keys attached to a belt or wrists or something. If I lived there long enough, I’d even steal the lid and replace it with something finer…
variants@possumpat.io 6 months ago
It’s fine the person in the picture is a pro that can hold the keys like a power puff girl
VindictiveJudge@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Wasn’t there a scene where they discussed how weird their hands were?
aeronmelon@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I hate drain holes that appear to go all the way down to bedrock where you can feel heat coming from the earth below. Like it’s the first chapter of Journey to the Center of the Earth.
Nasan@sopuli.xyz 6 months ago
Guy in front of a no knock raid party gets to confirm the hollow earth theory for himself.
JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 6 months ago
Wherever he saw a hole he always wanted to know the depth of it. To him this was important.
sagrotan@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Cheap pickset and learn to do it: priceless.
Carbonizer@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Until you drop that down the grate too
bruhduh@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Lockpicklawyer alt account detected /jk
general_kitten@sopuli.xyz 6 months ago
At least where i live your regular home locks are secure enough that non-destructive entry requires specialized tools and close to LPL level skill. In my country there was once a serial burglar that could do that and for a long time police didnt even believe the that there even was any burglary.
yuriy@lemmy.world 6 months ago
You in one of those schmancy countries where everyone’s got them fucken assa abloys on their tool sheds?
Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Seeing all these “just get a giant key chain” comments reminds me that Lemmy’s core user base is the software engineer who stores a giant keychain in his cargo shorts, along side a multitool and the world’s thickest wallet.
knexcar@lemmy.world 6 months ago
You mean it’s NOT an accurate random sample of reality?
Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Wait. Everyone isn’t running Linux on their daily driver?
someguy3@lemmy.ca 6 months ago
Numpad time.
dessalines@lemmy.ml 6 months ago
Those rule. Like why carry around physical secrets unlockers if we don’t need to.
boatsnhos931@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Look… If you had… one shot… or one opportunity… To open every door you ever wanted… one moment… Would you capture it? Or just let it slip? Yo His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy There’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti He’s nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drops bombs, but he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud He opens his hands but the keys won’t come out He’s chokin, how? Everybody’s jokin now The clock’s run out, time’s up, over - BLAOW!
taanegl@lemmy.world 6 months ago
House owner: That’s $499 for a new key.
sirico@feddit.uk 6 months ago
My partners keys would be safe
synapse1278@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Just use a keychain that is bigger that the grill pitch, any small trinket will do.
Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 6 months ago
But then you need to carry around a big keychain.
MalachaiConstant@lemmy.world 6 months ago
NO.
If anyone has a term for this specific phobia, please let me know
Squirrelanna@lemmynsfw.com 6 months ago
llllkeyllllphobia. Makes about as much sense as some other phobia names!
tetris11@lemmy.ml 6 months ago
His palms are sweaty
Knees weak, arms are heavy…
Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 6 months ago
This could make me carry around my keys on a retractable lanyard like a postal worker.
mikezane@lemmynsfw.com 6 months ago
You could just get a largish key chain accessory.
Administrator@lemm.ee 6 months ago
this guy drops (his keys)
dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I think you’d be in gas-station-keyring territory to do the job reliably. How about a hubcap?
Dasus@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I prefer those little plastic shovels.
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Some window screen and zip ties would solve that problem.
Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Folded beach towel is one and done
dumbass@lemy.lol 6 months ago
If you had a basement that lead up to that drain you could put some mesh angled down, busy a hole into the the drain from your basement and if some stranger tries to grab your keys you can drop them inside.
helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world 6 months ago
if some stranger tries to grab your keys you can drop them inside.
When it finally happens “HA, I’ve been waiting 49 years for this exact situation! they all said I crazy.” Old man shouts at sky “I told you Grettle that I’d have a use for that hole someday!!!”
A few moments later “Now, how do I get to the basment with no key”
Knightcheeze@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Looks like a job for Michael Scott’s Toilet Buddy (formerly known as Toilet Guard)
RedditWanderer@lemmy.world 6 months ago
5$ of mesh is an option.
Mr_Fish@lemmy.world 6 months ago
<2$ of large keyring is an option
BobbyNevada@discuss.tchncs.de 6 months ago
Stealing a doormat is also an option.
Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Then $40 for sexy cargo pants to hold your giant keyring.