I'm 99% sure it's not real

Comments

• DaCookeyMonsta@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  I’m an engineer. I’m on my phone looking at memes until someone asks me a question, then I do a thing in 5 minutes that they expected to take 5 days because people don’t understand computers, then I go back to the memes.

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  • HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Sounds like tech support not engineering

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    • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I have been downvoted to hell for what I’m about to say, but I’m going to say it again anyway.

      IT support people are now called engineers. No, I don’t like it. No it’s not proper “engineering”. Yes, language evolves and there’s nothing we can do about it. If that’s a problem for people, I recommend screaming into the void. It doesn’t help, but you feel better after a while.

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  • EvilHankVenture@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Quiet! You are giving the secret away.

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• ArchAengelus@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  As an engineer:

  1. Receive or identify a problem.
  2. Design a solution that solves or mitigated the problem.
  3. Usually pay someone to make a prototype or do it ourselves
  4. Test the prototype and see if it solves the problem. If no, go back to #2 until a workable solution is found
  5. Get someone else to build the final thing.
  6. Make sure thing works. Ship it.

  This is a recursive and iterative process. Meaning you will find problems inside your solutions and need to fix them.

  Eventually you finish the thing and get a new problem and do the whole game over again. It’s like a puzzle that requires absurd amounts of knowledge to play well, but anyone could try to solve the problem. That’s why good engineers are paid pretty well.

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  • don@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    You lost me at “As an engineer:”

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  • crapwittyname@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    That’s a pretty good run down. There’s all sorts of soft skills required for that as well, and hard skills specific to the industry they’re in, but I think you’ve got the essence of it.

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• mkwarman@lemmy.mkwarman.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Pretty sure they drive trains

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  • NielsBohron@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    No joke, my wife’s grandpa was a mechanical engineer with a degree from Notre Dame, and he chose engineering apparently because as a 17yo, he thought he was going to learn to drive trains.

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    • Excrubulent@slrpnk.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      The overlap between people who love trains and people who are good at engineering is pretty high though.

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  • synapse1278@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I am an engineer. I can’t explain what I do, I just can’t…

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• WagnasT@iusearchlinux.fyi ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  I put the data in excel and make colorful charts to show management that their ideas are possible but expensive. Then do the same to show the cost of not purchasing maintenance equipment is in fact more costly than the necessary equipment.

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  • TheEhHole@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Then they dont purchase the equipment anyway, right? That’s what tends to happen in my case.

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    • crapwittyname@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      And then they point the finger six months later when the fan is covered in shite, am I right? An engineer is just an “I-fucken-told-you-so” generator.

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• acockworkorange@mander.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  “The Engineering Method” by Mark Hammond aka the engineer guy is a great read…

  …is what I would say if I actually purchased books from my wishlist.

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  • Hazen@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Reading this gave me anxiety.

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• NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  We are real, I am a real person, and I will not be called fake news!!! I exist dammit.

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  • NotATurtle@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Always these bot accounts pretending to me human.

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• amio@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  They just do engineering things.

  Source: am engineer.

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• nifty@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Image

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• explodicle@local106.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Like a scientist but you get paid

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  • copernicurious@lemmynsfw.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Scientists make something new. One time. In a lab. Under ideal conditions. With 3 PhDs assembling, testing, and running it.

    Engineers have to make the same thing so that their cheap-ass company can hire any gaggle of idiots off any street around the world and train them to assemble, test, and run 500 of the thing.

    Alternatively so those same idiots can buy the product and do all manner of stupid things to it without it breaking.

    Note: not saying all technicians are idiots, but the good ones get paid more so companies eventually go for the idiots instead.

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    • BoastfulDaedra@lemmynsfw.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      The best QA technicians think like perfect idiots.

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  • realitista@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    science vs engineering

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• funnystuff97@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Whenever people ask me what engineering work is like, I always tell them I have no idea. I’m not an engineer; engineers drive trains, I’m just a poser.

  (am computer hardware engineer)

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• Waterdoc@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Math using janky excel spreadsheets, tell drafters what we want drawings to look like, but mostly a lot of reading and writing. The secret to engineering (at least in my area) is that communication skills are just as important as technical understanding.

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  • maniclucky@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Yuuuup. Half the time you’re the expert* in the room and when heads turn to you you have to push the imposter syndrome down and know your shit and convey it well enough that people will listen.

    And having the good sense to know when to say “I need to look that up, let me get back to you”.

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• lowleveldata@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  8 hours meeting a day, mostly

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  • hex_m_hell@slrpnk.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I see you’re a senior engineer.

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• matlag@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Half of the job is to fix issues with existing suff, the other half is to make working stuff more complicated and problematic (aka “upgrade”), so that we’re still paid to do the first half.

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• Someonelol@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  As an engineer I can say it can be a “hurry up and wait” kind of job. Around the 20% mark of a project timeline I’m 80% finished but then have to rely on a non-responsive authority to answer me back over some obscure part of the project. After that I just nag them and the project manager about it in email to cover my ass then do fuck all until they respond. At the 95% mark they answer back and I have to hurry up to finish. It can be stressful at times but it’s not bad otherwise.

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  • Whelks_chance@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Ah, Pareto

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  • OceanSoap@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I’m a designer that works with a bunch of engineers and yeah. I’ve got two projects that we had to rush in a two week deadline. Now we’ve been waiting for months on a reply about something. Just waiting.

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  • crapwittyname@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Solution: give employee 7 projects

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• zout@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  I'm an engineer. Most of the time I solve the tricky technical problems. Other times I design some new technical thing, or I think of new ways to do something.

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  • don@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    So wizardry, sorcery, technomancy, and witchcraft. That was all you had to say.

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    • zout@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      That sums it up.

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  • Overzeetop@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I fix others people’s problems using math and a bit of physics. I keep people from dying. As long as those two things hold true I get shelter, food, and other necessities.

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• Skua@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Come on, it's right there in the name. We engine.

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• bappity@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  they stand near an engine idk

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• RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  All you need to know is that they keep the world functioning. They apply science and architecture to a human need and fix the problem.

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• PatFussy@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  All I do as an engineer is piss and shit and fart

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• HiddenLayer5@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  They’re the ears for engines. Engines gotta be able to hear after all!

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• Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  My Dad went to work one day and didn’t come back. Guess he wasn’t an engineer. All I knew was that he was a sonofabitch.

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• key@lemmy.keychat.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  It’s an elaborate money laundering scheme. Most “engineers” secretly cook meth and stuff. It’s actually super easy to make like buildings and planes because God holds them up until He decides they should fall.

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  • MajorHavoc@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Shhhhh…

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• Okokimup@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  They keep the warp core functioning.

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• Flughoernchen@feddit.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Most engineers don’t know either bro

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• nadiaraven@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  I interned at a mechanical engineering firm. We contracted out field workers to do the real work at construction sites, installing big hvac systems, while we coordinated between them and the general contractor. Much of engineering is about designing things using math and cad

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• Tedesche@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Pretty sure they just draw complex pictures of bridges all day.

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  • Hazen@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Always start with a free-body diagram

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• ted@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  I started my engineering program at University not knowing what engineering was.

  Thank goodness for that orientation session.

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  • Sadbutdru@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I’m half way through my second year and still not sure.

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  • nifty@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I missed it, now I just do memes.

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• SacrificedBeans@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  I have this problem with “I work at a technical office”. I… I just don’t understand

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• baseless_discourse@mander.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Engine go NEER!!! Buhr!

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• ornery_chemist@mander.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Professional zero finders of derivatives

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