Yeah, someone from the UK told me just yesterday you could go to jail for it. It’s absurd.
The myth of "consensual" choking
Submitted 22 hours ago by RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip to [deleted]
https://media.piefed.zip/posts/rJ/4t/rJ4tKiL8toIsJbV.webp
Comments
Tattorack@lemmy.world 51 minutes ago
Bubbaonthebeach@lemmy.ca 3 hours ago
I hear of more and more young women who are foregoing relationships and one big reason is the pornification of sex. It seems that no one born into the always online porn generation has real old fashioned sex anymore. It’s all porn mimicry. And not surprisingly, the majority of women don’t enjoy it since most porn isn’t about women’s enjoyment but their degradation and pain.
cloudshouter@lemmy.zip 2 hours ago
Many moons ago there were intelligent people advocating for a serious upgrade to the sex ed programs. The usual idiots shut it down of course, but the idea was that, among other things, we need to teach sex ed in an age of online porn. Accept that kids who want sex will get sex, and that kids who want porn will find porn. Start teaching them that porn is as much fake, pandering entertainment as the WWE. Scripted, planned, consent and paperwork ahead of time, body makeup, dick makeup, permanent makeup under the runny makeup, they don’t show the prep, they don’t always show the lube. The orgasms are mostly fake (even the guys). Most women don’t like to be slapped or choked, especially without asking permission. In fact most women don’t want anything done to them that you don’t want want done to you.
My advice for young people, and really everyone, is that you someone can’t talk about sex and go buy condoms, they aren’t ready for sex. Communication about it before, during, and after makes for the best experience. Also, you can like things in porn that you wouldn’t do in real life.
Skullgrid@lemmy.world 21 hours ago
can’t even have a woman sit on your face in the UK. It’s a shame.
synapse1278@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
Oi mate ! Got a loicense for that arse ?
sundray@lemmus.org 20 hours ago
I won’t stand for this!
dgdft@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
That’s okay, you’re not supposed to stand
(unless the woman is very very tall)
meat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 hours ago
Can I interest you in a queening chair?
JustPlainDave@lemmy.zip 10 hours ago
Monty Python in shambles
QueenHawlSera@piefed.social 15 hours ago
They unbanned this in 2020
Skullgrid@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
Well i left in 2018, and it didn’t hit international news that it got unbanned
glups@piefed.social 10 hours ago
COVID made porn very relevant again
blueamigafan@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
I think its come from the fact that teachers are being approached by teenagers and being asked how they should choke someone during sex, because they think its a normal thing everyone does. Not something some consenting people do.
Also there have been several high profile cases of woman being strangled to death and the men getting off with light sentences because they say it was a consensual sex game.
cloudshouter@lemmy.zip 2 hours ago
Teachers, who are there to teach, need to then know how to tell the boys about reality, communication, consent, and safe practices. They also need to be backed up by the administration if a patient complains about it.
Ask your partner first and respect what they say. Communicate the whole time if they want to be choked. Choke gently on the sides, not the throat. Do it to yourself first to see how it feels. (with hands, not rope)
I don’t by the “oops, kinky sex” defense. People into way harder stuff don’t have that problem.
mad_lentil@lemmy.ca 1 hour ago
Yup. There’s a massive difference between sexy erotic choking and actually throttling someone.
Yes if your partner is into it they will probably say they want it harder, but especially if you don’t know your own strength, you need to know there’s a line you can’t cross.
I wouldn’t recommend serious breathplay unless you actually seek out legit BDSM community, but harm reduction advice here: a “full choke” where your breath actually catches in your throat should not last for more than a second, and then immediately check-in by loosening your grip and looking for a consent refresh.
eyesaremosaics@lemmy.zip 16 hours ago
Meh, it shouldn’t be normalised, it’s degrading and copy cats will absolutely do it in non consensual ways. This is getting into the realm of CNC, which some people might be into but is not to be taken lightly
anewfox@lemmy.zip 3 hours ago
awful lot of pearl clutching on lemmy.
autriyo@feddit.org 14 hours ago
If you ask medical professionals , nearly any amount of choking is pretty unsafe/not worth the risk.
Obviously putting your hands there and pretending isn’t a problem, bit anything harder carries substantial risk.
lordziv@lemmy.nz 25 minutes ago
Speaking anecdotally, at least 50% of my previous girlfriends have enjoyed it and even encouraged it. One even taught me the safe way to choke them. That being said, my current girlfriend is very much not a fan. I don’t really care either way, whatever gets them off
Gonzako@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
Does this account for either windpipe chocking and side pinching?
Alaknar@sopuli.xyz 12 hours ago
Anyone who wants to get into anything even remotely BDSM-y should have mandatory reading of Sunstone first.
There’s a character there who lost her hands because she wanted to impress her dom boyfriend and tied herself to the bed with self-tightening knots. The boyfriend - not aware of the fact - was home late. By that time she lost strength in her arms, the knots tightened and cut off blood-flow and her hands had to be amputated.
This shit is sexy and hot, but dangerous if performed by unaware/inexperienced people.
whoisearth@lemmy.ca 10 hours ago
Tell my last 2 girlfriends this. They don’t care.
khanh@lemmy.zip 5 hours ago
is that Sayori from DDLC?
sober_monk@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
On a choking meme, to boot?
melsaskca@lemmy.ca 10 hours ago
The British soap opera “Coronation Street” is doing a related story on this currently. Two kids, 18ish, having sex for the first time and he chokes her and she ends up having a stroke because of it. This is not a natural act but something that is heavily intertwined in the internet porn world and we learn by observation a lot of the times.
RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip 10 hours ago
You’re supposed to be stroking during sex that’s how people cum.
guy@piefed.social 9 hours ago
rofl
melsaskca@lemmy.ca 9 hours ago
Well…I’m no expert. I bow to your superior knowledge.
yesman@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
Call me old fashioned, but violence in the bedroom should be simulated, not actual. Can a girl consent to being punched? How about stabbed (with a knife) or shot (with a gun)?
Sexual liberation is about enjoying your body, not permission to become a goddamn Cenobite. Some kinks should be shamed.
chewypoops@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
Call me old fashioned
Regressive sexual moralizing is a red flag that a person is a huge piece of shit. “Old fashioned” is putting it lightly. Keep these awful options of yours between you and whatever regressive church you go to, creep.
DudleyMason@lemmy.ml 2 hours ago
Some kinks should be shamed.
Only the sick moralism kink that leads people to shame sex they wouldn’t want to have themselves. That should definitely be shamed out of existence.
AA5B@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
Arguably it is. No one expects to be choked literally to death. Just like any other consent/consent play: you consent to being forced, within boundaries - and you really really need a safe word and/or other safeguards. As the dominant, you are morally responsible for adhering to those boundaries, ensuring the safety of your partner, and fulfilling whatever they expect to get from the play
Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
Does the UK government actually differentiate between simulated and actual? Isn’t most porn “fake” anyway and should be presumed to be simulated?
SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 hours ago
Disagree.
Some people are into that.
cactusupyourbutt@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
yes. no. no.
any other questions?
HereIAm@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
Too bad they made “simulated” choking illegal then.
homelabrat@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
Damn, I’m too old for this shit…
RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip 10 hours ago
David Carradine wasn’t.
MasterBlaster@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
I’m still wondering if he was assassinated for some mafioso shit.
homelabrat@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
Touché.
outlawcarl@fedinsfw.app 10 hours ago
I use to be against this kind of banning thing, but then algatherms. The most shocking stuff gets pushed due to the attention it naturally creates thous normalizing it to people who would not take the care needed for this kind of thing, and as people have said here might not even be safe when done correctly but when you see it getting pushed to teenagers…..
chewypoops@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
but when you see it getting pushed to teenagers…
WoN’t AnYbOdY tHiNk Of ThE ChIlDrEn?!?!
endless_nameless@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
Sexual choking causes brain damage, mainly resulting in emotional dysregulation. Yall ever wondered why every girl who ever asked you to choke her turned out to be fucking psycho?
glups@piefed.social 10 hours ago
That seems like more of a chicken and egg problem
SourDragon@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
You had me in the first half, not gonna lie
endless_nameless@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
The first sentence is research, second sentence is my speculation
applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 hours ago
see also: fisting
anewfox@lemmy.zip 3 hours ago
oh i’m seeing it
PrimeMinisterKeyes@leminal.space 5 hours ago
Habdeb Daddy?
Doomsider@lemmy.world 26 minutes ago
Giving your partner brain damage is so sexy!