Volunteer work is an amazing way to break cycles of isolation and loneliness. You have a shared common goal with other volunteers and you are making a collective effort to improve the lives of those less fortunate than you. Even if you walk away without having met the love of your life or whatever, at least you can feel good knowing that you helped make the world a better place and got to meet some cool, likeminded people.
Anon tries being social
Submitted 2 weeks ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/4bfada11-bcfb-4974-a134-b3f50e21792b.jpeg
Comments
apprehensivecrab1@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
spacegoat@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Volunteer work backfires for a lot of people when they work at like food pantries though. You get a huge amount of entitled rude assholes
apprehensivecrab1@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
¯_(ツ)_/¯ I can’t really speak to that. I volunteer with local mutual aid orgs because it more directly and sustainably impacts the local community.
fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
It’s hard reconciling the fact you are being generous (even indirectly) and the fact that poor people with fucked up lives may be a bit too busy with their shitty lives to show gratefulness.
Like animals biting you when you rescue them, it’s hard to understand, no doubt.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
It’s not necessarily true at all.
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Case in point: My dad got into habitat for humanity because he loves Jimmy Carter but the local group was a bunch of catty bitches so he quit for local government. (Which also sucks but for different reasons.)
festnt@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
> “greentext”
> look inside
> red textsit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Wait there’s a specific Color to the outcome of 4chan texts?
javasux@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
How do you convince yourself that 27 vs 30 is a difference that matters in any way
Baggie@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Lack of confidence will do some fucked up things to your brain honestly
OctopusNemeses@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
30 is the narrative online where you’re pretty much 100 years old. They’re convinced once you hit 30 you might as well be her grandpa.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
It’s the cultural narrative of where adulthood begins these days.
Childhood has been extended through your 20s.
it used to be 18 in the 1950s.
FatVegan@leminal.space 2 weeks ago
When i read 30 i thought: oh no, he’s talking up 17 year olds.
NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Yeah that’s crazy to think people in your HS cohort are too far in age to you to relate
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
My nephew is 16. He thinks he can’t date a 15 year or its pedophilia.
whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Still better this way than the Trump way
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
because you’re stupid and you think things like that are deterministic laws
drolex@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
ComicalMayhem@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Hope posting
meat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
Change maxing
SorteKanin@feddit.dk 2 weeks ago
Real: Anon can improve himself by going outside.
Straight: Anon talked to women.
tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Anon doing volunteer work? Already a vastly different type from the wide sea of other Anons.
grue@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Fake: Anon goes out in public
Gay: other 4channers are supportive\s
MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Fake: anon talks to women.
Gay: text isn’t green.
sit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Hopeposting. I was clenching so hard for the plot twist
nullspace@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Anon is gonna be riding that high for the next 10 years.
shalafi@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I got over my fear of talking to pretty girls sometime around my junior year of high school. Having overheard lots of conversations, and from talking to my female* friend across the street, I realized that girls are more like us than not. For example, get 'em talking about sex among themselves and they nasty.
So I decided I would approach girls same as I would a male peer and damn did that work! I could write an essay, but pretty girls are so used to ass kissing that treating them like one of the guys, ya know, normal, grabs their attention. Ass kissers don’t present any sort of challenge, they’re boring as paste. Don’t be afraid to rib and tease a bit! This is where the idiot notion of “negging” comes from, started as normal flirting, went way too fucking far.
Going to stop now before I end up with the aforementioned essay.
* Going to be drug out and shot as an incel, but she was neither a woman nor a girlfriend. “Neighbor girl who was a friend but not my girlfriend” is a mouthful.
Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
So I decided I would approach girls same as I would a male peer and damn did that work!
Turns out the big secret to meeting people of the other gender is to focus on the “people” part.
shalafi@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Look bud, I was trying to be all wise and longwinded there. I don’t need a summation of my bullshit. :)
But yeah, it was a revelation to me at 16-17. Before that I was the guy in Catch 22 that treated women as angels walking the Earth and was utterly tongue tied before them. Incels apparently didn’t get the memo.
Glytch@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
“Female” is generally okay when used as a adjective (as you did here). It’s when you’re using it as a noun when talking about humans that you start sounding like a fedora tipping Ferengi.
You’re also probably covered because your advice boils down to “treat people like people”
shalafi@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
One time on here I used “female” in a biology discussion.
“INCEL!”
Language is getting weirder and weirder as I age. 🙄
TheHooligan95@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
I don’t fear speaking with pretty girls because they’re pretty girls. I just fear speaking with people because my history of being bullied and being betrayed by friends and being purposefully cockblocked by envious friends has made me fear most people
AeonFelis@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Protip: don’t use of using an asterisks for footnotes. There is Markdown syntax for that:
Main[^1] text[^2] [^1]: First footnote. [^2]: Second comment.
It gets rendered like this:
Main[^1] text[^2]
[^1]: First footnote. [^2]: Second comment.
Note that the footnotes don’t have to be at the bottom of the comment. You an put each in a paragraph immediately after its usage, and the Markdown renderer will still put them at the bottom.
shalafi@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Neat! I’ll probably forget between now and next time, but I’d never seen that used. Hell, I was proud of figuring out the escape character!
CaliforniaSober@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Just a thought… anon is wrong.
afk_strats@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I swear we could de-radicalize young men if this was talked about more. Just say hi to people
cynar@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
One of the biggest problems is that, outside of early school, there’s no real way to practice social interactions in a safe setting. The only real option is jumping straight in. If you’re already slightly socially stunted, it can be very easy to mess it up. It only takes a couple of negative reactions to put someone off for a long time.
I almost fell into the same hole when I was younger. Thankfully I realised what was likely happening and worked on it. I’m still not good at cold approach social interactions, but I can at least now do it without screwing up catastrophically.
exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
There are small talk opportunities if you know where to look.
Dog parks are my favorite. Bring your dog, make small talk with the other owners, get to know some of them. It’s a low stakes environment that doesn’t cost any money, allows you to exit at any time, guarantees at least one shared interest or commonality with people who live near you. You don’t even have to talk to people the first few times you go, and can build up comfort/familiarity in the specific place before you take the next step of striking up a conversation with another regular you see a lot.
Another option is where unrelated parties might mingle in shared space: communal tables or bar seating at coffee shops or bars or parks or even restaurants. These fleeting interactions might help practice the skills of small talk, enough to where it’s easy to have conversations with strangers.
And sometimes you can outsource the actual cold approach to the extrovert strangers you might encounter, by giving them something to talk about. A baseball cap with your university, a T-shirt with your favorite band from a tour you saw live, a tattoo of something fun, other items of clothing or accessories that might attract positive attention. Sometimes people will say something about it, and then you can talk about a shared interest or background at that point.
Lines and waiting rooms are also sometimes good places to pass the time with conversations. It’s a little harder now than 20 years ago, with the rise of smartphones, but it’s still a place where people might be bored and appreciate a little conversation to mix things up.
Linnce@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
As long as they don’t mistake making a new friend with expectations of having a girlfriend. I’ve had plenty of guy “friendships” which I genuinely thought would last for years, but the moment they noticed I wasn’t having sex with them they pulled away to never be heard of. It breaks your heart in a different way.
teslekova@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
This is such a self-destructive act. Being friends with women gives you more chances of a) meeting women, and b) actually knowing how to interact with them when you do.
Mandarbmax@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Speaking from the guy perspective (and not at all to minimize your pain) sometimes pulling away is necessary for managing feelings of rejection and longing; better to pull away than to have a crash out in a year about how her boyfriend isn’t you but also still bad. It just sucks all around.
rtxn@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Inevitably there would be some incels who claim that speaking to women like normal human beings is an attempt by the matrix to emasculate men.
mycodesucks@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention this could easily work both ways and someone could talk to THEM.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
are you suggesting that socialization is a two-way street?
how dare you sir!
teslekova@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
Yeah. And if you get rejected a few times, don’t turn that into an entire personality. Laugh at yourself.
Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Welp, one down, only 4.1 billion more tries left.
Flax_vert@feddit.uk 2 weeks ago
Wasn’t this one of Elliot Rodger’s issues, he just didn’t talk to women
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
No, he was mentally ill.
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
Unfortunately a lot of people don’t seem to want to de-radicalize young men. They’ll say stuff like “Why should we? They deserve to be miserable.”
It kinda misunderstands the nature of radicalization, and how vulnerabilities and exploits manifest. It can even take on a tinge of victim-blaming, retroactively justifying mistreatment based on their reaction to it