If this is legit (lol) then the real answer is split up, and stay single until you find someone who you’d never refer to as ‘bitch’
Anon plays the lottery
Submitted 3 weeks ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/337aa81c-e174-41b5-a5eb-40b995f6f196.png
Comments
HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
frog@feddit.uk 3 weeks ago
isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de 3 weeks ago
mr white this money is mine, YO
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Yep yep yep.
I would suggest anon takes that 18k, sets aside ~75% of it in some kind of savings or investment scheme, start that nest egg early.
(No, not fucking crypto, probably just find a high yield savings account)
Or, wipe out any existing debts first.
…
Then, take whats left, and consider:
Fix up your car,
Get some good quality clothes and shoes or boots that you will be able repair and maintain, get the tools that enable you do to that,
Get a good and comfortable mattress and quality pillows,
Get some good quality cooking appliances that are relatively portable and will enable you to make decent meals from scratch, or at least closer to scratch,
Unironically, consider getting a bidet… toilet paper is expensive, a reasonably priced bidet addon to a normal toilet can pay for itself in a few months,
Basic repair toolkit for electronics, and also basic repair toolset for around the house/automobile type stuff,
Some basic, not stupid expensive, home work out / strength training equipment.
…
Ya’ll see where I going with this.
Use that other 25% to buy actually useful things that lay a more solid foundation for the rest of your life.
Solid foundation?
You’re much more likely to be able to buy that motorcycle or gaming pc or what not in another year or two, all without having to touch that nest egg for anything other than true emergencies… if you can keep working at whatever you’re working at, from that stable foundation.
liuther9@feddit.nl 2 weeks ago
Who else would try to steal the feeling of accomplishment? It is his money and the other person has to know that. I would never touch what my gf wins
murvel@feddit.nu 2 weeks ago
Oh wow really?
InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Spend it on a motorcycle before she notices
Senseless@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
I’d get a driver’s license for motorcycles and the motorcycle later. The licenses have become so insanely expensive here.
Corn@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
Why? Shouldn’t cities encourage motorbikes over cars? In SEA its way easier to get a liscense for a bike than a car.
anus@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Real answer:
- Get out of debt
- Hold a few months worth of expenses in cash/easy access savings
- Maximize any yearly contribution to a tax free savings, investment, or pension account
- If there’s still more left, open an investment account and buy into a world index fund like IWRD if you’re in the UK
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
I’ll add:
- Before anything else, go out to eat or something to celebrate
- After 3, buy something permanent for the house both you and the GF (if she exists) have been wanting (TV, sofa, etc); this will serve as a tangible reminder that you were responsible with the winnings
nutsack@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
yeah this is the answer but people with $18,000 aren’t going to do it
Perspectivist@feddit.uk 3 weeks ago
There are countless ways I feel different from the people around me, but spending habits is a big one. I never had the urge to start buying things when I got money. I’ve just always saved it. Even as a kid, I had a chest with a lock on it where I kept all my savings. I was always the one people borrowed money from and paid back with interest.
Now as an adult, I find it even easier not to go on a spending spree when I get a large lump sum of money from somewhere, because getting more money doesn’t really enable me to buy something I couldn’t have bought before. Even when I do treat myself to something, it’s usually BIFL quality, so once I have it, I never need to buy it again.
I guess it’s worth noting that always being alone with no one to spend the money with helps too.
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 2 weeks ago
Consumerism has mostly been a way to separate fools and their money throughout the 20th century.
If consumerism wouldn’t exist, the workers would have earned good dollars, but would have kept the wealth to themselves, and so you end up with a powerful working class. If instead, the people spend their money as soon as they have it, the companies and therefore the company owners get a share of the money repeatedly, until all of the wealth is slowly siphoned away by the owning class.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
I’m the same way, and I don’t even know what I’d splurge on if given a bunch of money. I’ve conditioned myself to be happy with less, so any money I get goes to investments, and if I have enough to retire on my current lifestyle, I’d do that and just work on personal projects instead of going to work.
But I grew up in a middle-class household where we always had enough because my parents were careful with money. They taught me to save early on, and I was able to afford some nice things (TV and game console) with the little I earned mowing lawns and whatnot. I had great role models, and I’ve almost never had to worry about money and only needed to go into debt for my house.
I wish everyone had that kind of role model. A little financial discipline can be the difference between anxiety from living paycheck to paycheck and being able to quit your abusive job and get one that respects your time.
panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
Caviar mukbang.
You want to be so full of roe that if an alien sliced you open your stomach would look like a pregnant salmon.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Hopefully they’re confused about a salmon carrying sturgeon eggs.
RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz 3 weeks ago
Donate the girlfriend to charity
WanderWisley@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Fake: there is no way anon can have a gambling addiction and a girlfriend at the same time.
Dasus@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I actually do know a guy like that. But it took him until like almost 30’s to manage to get one and I’m pretty sure she has kind of a lot of additions as well.
Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Apparently 2 people won the 1.8 billion$ powerball last night. One Texas the other in Missouri.
To put it mildly my life is over. Now i cant buy a million acres of land and create my own compound. How will I pay for my dogs english lessons so that we can finally talk???
Jokes aside i hope whoever won blows it on coke and hookers
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
That’s a lot of coke…
Zorg@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
It is, bit statistically most lottery winners have managed to burn through their winnings after something like 2-3 years. It may take slightly longer if the payout is a half billion or so (because you just can’t possibly list any price or prize in the US after taxes, that would be preposterous for reasons).
regdog@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Buy 18.000$ worth of candles.
Denjin@feddit.uk 3 weeks ago
$3,600 is more than enough candles for a normal family.
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
Finally a budget i can agree with
thefluffiest@feddit.nl 3 weeks ago
Bali is a great idea
DrDystopia@lemy.lol 3 weeks ago
I agree, I’m looking for a ticket right now and you’ll pay right?
JTskulk@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
you ain’t traveling anywhere on $18.
k0e3@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
What country that uses the dollar sign uses that formatting? In Canada and us I think it’s $18,000. The way anon writes it is tripping me out.
nyctre@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Most european countries, I think? At least that’s how I’d write it. And I’d use $ cause it’s just easier for people to understand the value and cause for most keyboards the euro sign is slightly less comfy to use.
k0e3@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Oh yeah, I know the format is Like that in Europe, but the guy won $, right? Seems weird to me that he wrote it like that of they’re from the US or Canada.
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Km100? Mb/s100? But $100 is suddenly ok? Americans clearly do it wrong.
k0e3@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
I didn’t say it was ok; just the way we do it in Canada as well as the States. It absolutely makes no sense lol. I’m pretty sure a lot of growing up make the “mistake” of writing 100$.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
This seems to be a language thing. In the US, Canada, and the UK, we write £20, $20, and €20 (and 50c, 50¢, 50p if using coinage). In Quebec, the currency symbol goes at the end, because French is the provincial language.
In English, 20$ is wrong. In French, $20 is wrong. Use the right system for your language.
Magnum@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
I know as a matric enthusiast you HAVE TO get offended the second something imperial is mentioned. Whatever it doesn’t matter if you like it or not, if the story would not be fake and gay, he would have written $Value and not Value $
vala@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Based on the English my best guess is the 4chan op is German.
Why the used a dollar sign instead of euro sign idk, probably just 4chan stuff.
lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 2 weeks ago
Croatia. Anon also has that long croat hair, and being a croat and a channer, he worships a man named hitler, which makes him gay!
serenissi@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
fake: anon gets a lottery call, probably it’s a scam gay: anon is a girl (ignoring this is 4chan)
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Nah, it’s gay because the GF is a femboy. Nowhere does anon say “she.”
tungsten5@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Shouldn’t have told her…
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Money is the cause of most long term relationship struggles in the US. Talk to your fake girlfriend about what you desire to do with your fake money.
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
That sounds like too much work. Can’t I just fake the conversation, too?
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Only if you’re alright with faking up
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
The realness of your conversion should match the realness of your SO.