Submitted âšâš7â© âšmonthsâ© agoâ© by âšSeagoon_@aussie.zoneâ© to âšmelbourne@aussie.zoneâ©
Well thatâs finally one saga over. I have wheels again! I think Iâve grown grey in my eyebrows from the stress.
Tomorrow I shall start organising insurance, put in a dashcam, look up places to get quotes for a new head unit, set up direct debits for rego, shop for seat covers and all the rest. And tidy my godawfully messy carport with months of dead leaves and crap accumulated. My neighbours will probably be rolling their eyes and sighing, âat lastââŠ
That is good news.
You should organise insurance first (you should have done that before you picked it up). There is a cooling off period so you can cancel if you find a better deal when you have time, but you donât want to be without it.
Yeah, I normally wouldâve organised insurance first but it was touch and go as to whether this sale was even happening this week. Itâs the first thing on my list for tomorrow.
Congrats! That must be a relief!
I feel so much lighter and free, even though Iâm once again chained to the regular expenses of a car. No more faffing around with carshares at odd hours, constantly checking PT times, carrying around a coat and charger, leaving things behind at home, saying no to catchupsâŠ
So market research this morning:
Go to an office setup like a faux supermarket. You put on these eye tracking glasses and walk down the aisle.
All so they can figure out where to beat place chocolates on a shelf.
Good times lol
Miss Meow is back in her tunnel. Itâs definitely a hit, sheâs been hanging out in there every evening.
@RustyRaven @Seagoon_ Nawww, how cute đ»
I have written a list, a few pages long, of all the crap my ex put me through, as well as a summary at the end just detailing the two months after we broke up and before she moved out, as well as my thoughts on her as a person. I want to send it to them, I know their address (or at least an address that would forward it to them). But I also know Iâm in no right mind to be making that decision. Iâm mad that they got to send me that absolute toxic drivel, and that I didnât take the time to rip them a new one. My beautiful partner suggested printing it and burning it instead, which is a good idea. I just feel so raw. I wish this didnât affect me so much, but I know why it does: it was worse than hell. I would have preferred hell. I thought what my mumâs dad did to me was bad, but that only happened once. My ex did it to me, 4 times a week, for 8 years. I wish I could put them on blast, properly, that I could show their friends and family what they did. I wish I could remove them from this world. I wish I broke up with them in 2010, when my friends said they didnât like them. Maybe I wouldnât have had to take call centre jobs to support her and I, and maybe I would have got a higher ENTER score, gone to uni, and been an archeologist like I always wanted. But I cannot live in the past making wishes that wonât come true for my 18yo self. I can only mourn what could have been, but I must remain here in the present to truly become what I want to be. I shouldnât send it at all, because it only proves to them how much they affected me, and Iâm sure it would give them a boner knowing how much I hurt still. I think they got off on my pain, and I think what I said and did in that chat was the right call; it made them mad I didnât grovel. I donât think they will find happiness or a partner who would put up with them for as long as I did. Not these days, knowing what we know about abusers and their insidious ways. She can claim she didnât rape me endlessly, because sheâs a girl, but it doesnât take away from the fact they had a penis and the time and used it as a weapon of destruction against my soul. I can only hope any of their future partners will see them for what they are before she hurts them like she hurt me.
This is nonsense word salad, a stream of consciousness. And I apologise to this community for venting so vehemently.
Peace.
Burning things is an excellent idea - Iâve found just the act releases so much emotion even if you donât scream, cry, swear or dance around the fire in relief/release.
All the hugs to you, if you want 'em.
There is a full moon coming, which is very cleansing. I say burn it under the light of the full moon and let it be released.
Sending you loads of gentle hugs and love. Vent all you need!
I like the idea of printing it and burning it. Make a whole ritual out of it. Let yourself scream and cry while you do it. They donât deserve any of your attention and unless you think your words, your pain, will make the grow and change, itâs not worth it unless it will give you closure.
All the hugs and support and kind thoughts. Youâve been through an awful lot, and have every right to feel how you do
Iâm up early after another night of bad sleep with too many thoughts in my head. But I think I have made a decision that will make things less stressful for me - Iâm going to withdraw from my climate change course. Itâs interesting material and I would like to be able to do it, but I just donât have the focus right now. Iâm still doing the Sustainable Living Diploma, but I donât need to finish that until next year so I might move another subject to next year so it is not such a time commitment.
so many hugs
Think Iâve broken my boyfriend slightly⊠now that the nights are cooler, I havenât been turning the fan on to sleep with and suddenly heâs having awful sleep. Last night it was a bit warmer, so I turned it back on and he slept so well. White noise ftw!
This story was not as provocative as I thought it was going to be after the first sentence.
I have my google home/nest mini thing on my bedside table which I stream noise through when I donât want to use my fan. That helps me. I often listen to rain storm sounds but thereâs one track which usually gives me pretty vivid dreams open.spotify.com/track/0YTKlaMszVp6rja34CzUDs?si=âŠ
I turn my fan on regardless of season, because I canât sleep otherwise. If itâs cold, I just face it away from me and keep it on the lowest speed.
I think Iâm going to need to be doing this! Weâve moved into a house that might almost be âtoo quietâ for him to sleep without it anyway! I love having the fan on anyway because it makes snuggling easier!
Could you buy a little desk top one to sit on the bedside table?
Ooh, thatâs a good idea! Thank you!
If you or he have an iPhone thereâs an option in settings to play various types of background noise, including white noise
If you want some noise without the fan you can get phone apps to play white noise. I use one called âsleep soundsâ which lets you mix different types of sounds to make something you like - I use natural sounds which includes things like running water, rain and wind sounds as well as things like frog and bird noises if you want. You can also do things like train or city noises. You can mix in different things and vary the volume of different components to get something you like. Itâs free to use (a small cost if you want to remove ads).
Itâs the eve of a 4 day weekend. Sadly I have a day filled with BS meetings that actually require my mental presence.
Happy Faux Friday!
Thanking you kindly
I am never up this late, but I took Mr 10 to Hamer Hall to see the MSO play Return of the Jedi. Fantastic performance, and a good excuse for a day off school tomorrow/today. And I am that tired I cannot think⊠goodnight peeps. Sweet dreams.
The mso doing the music from the movies is an absolute treat! They always do an amazing job.
HolidaysâŠstart⊠âŠNOW
(Narrator: actually holidays start in about an hour after greeegy has done the last few jobs unfinished yesterdayâŠ)
that looks delicious
đ€€
Just heard that it took 5 months for bands to be paid following gigs at the Bendigo Hotel.
No wonder why bands were refusing to play there.
Iâm going to miss that place so much, but it sounds like they were running it into the ground.
Just double checking that I did right.
Without too many details, I was on social media and saw that an underage user (like 12 years old) had publicly posted a school picture of themselves and their friend - including their faces, the first name of one kid, and the logo of their school. They had also been engaging with content that had an age rating and wasnât for kids, making that self doxxing even worse.
The report system refused to give me an appropriate option so I eventually just reported it as suspected child abuse material, explaining in the notes that I thought them posting their faces and school publicly could risk real life harm.
This was the right way to go about things, yes?
Iâm hoping that photo gets pulled down before it makes these kids a target
Itâs unfortunately the by product of a generation exposed to social media and kids not getting the proper education and also acknowledging that there are future consequences to what they post online.
They may have been taught and might not realise how important it is not to expose too much of your personal information online.
Anyway you did the right thing and I hope a resolution happens soon.
Thanks. Almost had a heart attack when I saw that. I really wish they taught these things in school
Gah. I spent all day and night troubleshooting tech and why things werenât charging.
Go out and buy a replacement part and I think everything is suddenly working and connecting together.
Felt like I just wasted money today figuring that out or just having it fixed magically.
Well at least I went and stocked up on spices which was the original aim of today.
Coffee time!
ooh, what spices did you get đ»
I picked more mild Moroccan Hoytâs.
Itâs so nice!
I learned my lesson after the last time I went away and Iâve done aaaaaaall of my laundry over the last 2 days. Ready to rock and roll.
Have you emptied the bin in the kitchen?
Iâll do that tonight after dinner!
đ Have you cleaned out the lettuce from the fridge?
Iâm not sure my fridge has ever seen a lettuce lol
Oh god I really think it may not have seen a lettuce ever⊠thatâs sobering
People, people! Please do not attempt to use a portable fire pit indoors! A very smart otherwise friend just made a very bad mistake.
This bogan piece of shit in cobram thatâs been arrested makes my blood boil. And while he was found not guilty for the murder of that toddler innocent people donât hide dead babies in their roof. At worst he did it and they couldnât prove it. At best he was an accessory to the crime.
Really makes me want to bring back the death penalty. Some people just need to be gone for the sake of society and no amount of meddling is going to fix their fucked brain.
Cooked chicken carcass in a plastic bag. Sure.
lips burning
I just chopped up some chilies for chili bread
I washed my hands
then ate a bikkie dipped in coffee
must have put chili on the bikkie đ
Just bought an Android Auto Wireless adaptor off Ali Express for $25. đłâŠ Will report back
Hi kids.
Flat clean, life admin complete. Going out for breakfast
Half way home on the train last night the mrs texts me and goes âoh and Iâve gotta show you a scratch I found on the carâ get home and yep, someoneâs opened a car door on it. Checked over the dashcam footage but cant see shit. She is sure it wasnât there yesterday morning and I believe her cause she woulda seen it during the daycare drop off.
This one probably aint her fault, but maaaan Iâm frustrated. It was fixed for all of 24 hours! The fuck is going on with my luck with cars.
Dear boss:
If you try and do something and it doesnât work so you throw it up to me thatâs ok, just fucking tell me. Donât go âoh I was gonna do it but was too busy you do itâ
Signed: the woman who prepped and went to build a server only to find the PERC is fucked.
Your assessment begins nowâŠ
Temperature dipped below 12° briefly yesterday before maxing out at 24 or so. Similar temperatures forecast for the next week. Itâs been shorts and tshirts weather all year to this point.
Brace yourself. Winter is coming.
My first time watching Zoolander and Zoolander 2. I have no words to describe what I just saw.
6 hours of watching Superstore and a 2 hour nap. Busy busy day.
Ha. Client #3 as well as client #2 cancelled. Which meant I only did one job today.
Already did a bit of Operation Sort Shit, now having a breather before I dive in again.
Just remembered supermarkets closed tomorrow morning, so got to get a few things today.
RustyRaven@aussie.zone âš7â© âšmonthsâ© ago
Iâve mentioned a couple of times recently having some âreal lifeâ problems, but I havenât really wanted to talk about it much here while I was still processing everything.
My Dad has been diagnosed with lung cancer and does not have much longer to live. My Mum also has a fair few health problems and our current plan is for her to move back to Melbourne and share a house with me so I can provide more assistance. I feel a bit like Iâm in the eye of a hurricane at the moment, everything seems perfectly normal right now but Iâm constantly on edge waiting for that to change.
It feels like I should be doing something but thereâs not really anything to do at the moment, so Iâm researching and making plans for every likely future possibility I can think of. Which probably means something completely unexpected will happen instead.
wscholermann@aussie.zone âš7â© âšmonthsâ© ago
I know itâs an unpleasant thing to think about but has the will and funeral been sorted?
RustyRaven@aussie.zone âš7â© âšmonthsâ© ago
They have. Everything was updated for both Mum & Dad last year after some health scares. The timing and details might have been unknown but it is not really unexpected at this point.
Gibsonisafluffybutt@aussie.zone âš7â© âšmonthsâ© ago
Iâm so sorry for that youâre going through â€ïž
Catfish@aussie.zone âš7â© âšmonthsâ© ago
That is a great deal of shite at once. Net hugs.
Bottom_racer@aussie.zone âš7â© âšmonthsâ© ago
So sorry to hear that.
TinyBreak@aussie.zone âš7â© âšmonthsâ© ago
Iâm really sorry. This sounds like a lot to take on.
With kindness, I disagree. I think you should be spending as much time with your folks as you are comfortable with. Bugger everything else right now.
RustyRaven@aussie.zone âš7â© âšmonthsâ© ago
I have been spending more time with them, but Dad canât do anything now, he canât really speak and is basically just sitting in his armchair with the TV on 24/7. Itâs not a very pleasant environment unfortunately. Iâd love to be able to take Mum out to get away from it for a bit but she doesnât want to leave him alone for any length of time. Weâve pretty much all said our goodbyes because he could go at any time and now we are all just waiting.
Seagoon_@aussie.zone âš7â© âšmonthsâ© ago
agree, spend time :)
melbaboutown@aussie.zone âš7â© âšmonthsâ© ago
Iâm very sorry to hear it.
If he doesnât feel up to talking or is unable to interact much, perhaps you might help mum with any practical tasks? Such as cleaning out storage spaces, paring down non-sentimental belongings, or starting to put away/make decisions about his stuff.
She might have trouble managing after he passes and it might be emotionally easier to do it more gradually, whether you do it together to support each other or you do the practical stuff while she sits with him.
Please ignore this if it comes off as insensitive.
I just thought it might take something difficult off mumâs plate.
RustyRaven@aussie.zone âš7â© âšmonthsâ© ago
We will definitely be going through stuff to downsize in future. I donât think there will be many decisions about his stuff, most of it is going straight in the dumpster. I think we will all take special joy in finally being able to toss the broken toaster in the shed that he for some reason decided was valuable enough to take when they moved house đ€Ł Fortunately the worst of his junk hoard was dealt with before they moved, but he did manage to bring over a surprising amount. Mum mostly has an oversupply of linen.
I have been helping with the cleaning a bit too, she is supposed to have a fortnighly cleaner through aged care every fortnight but they are not very reliable and if the cleaner canât make it for some reason it ends up being a month.
So far Dad has refused to use any sort of mobility aids. He looks incredibly unstable and has already had a couple of falls but unless heâs completely physically unable to get there I donât think heâll accept any sort of assistance.
Duenan@aussie.zone âš7â© âšmonthsâ© ago
Iâm really sorry to hear.
Sometimes there isnât anything you can do for the moment until the moment finally arrives.
You can do some forward planning but it might also cause you additional stress of all sorts.
Perhaps spending time with your dad while you can might be something you can think about with the time he has left if that is something you can do. Time is precious sometimes and unforgiving so making the best use of it while you can will never be a mistake.
Llabyrinthine@aussie.zone âš7â© âšmonthsâ© ago
Iâm also sorry to read what youâve been going through. đ€