please...just go....

Comments

• ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  This is why you keep a poop knife with you.

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• slothrop@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Plus the toilet tank takes 6 minutes to refill.
  But you flush again after 2 minutes…doh!

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  • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    So you go to turn the flow valve, by it breaks off in your hand. Now the poop won’t flush and you’ve got to get out of the house to hit the main valve (or flee. Lots of folk choose flee) with no one noticing your clothes are covered in poop water

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    • tetris11@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      But as you flee, the window jams as you raise it with your foot now stuck in it. You reach for the sink to pull you free, but oh no here comes the hiccups…

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  • Erusset@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I just put new toilets in my house and they fill up so fast now, like 20 seconds 

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    • tetris11@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      every time you take a shit, you need to install a new toilet?

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  • unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Ok we can’t ask you back because you did not share your drugs

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• Pistcow@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I did that at a house warming for one of my girlfriends friends. I just came out of the bathroom and told her we needed to go now.

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  • IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    you mean go to get a plunger?

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    • serpineslair@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      you mean go to get a plunger, right?

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  • socsa@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Isn’t “going now” what got you into the situation in the first place?

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  • Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    “Babe you’re going to need a new friend”

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• Master@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  If its just a floaty poop. drape TP over it in a V shape. Maybe 6 squares. Then flush. TP gets sucked down and takes that shit straight to hell.

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  • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    What if the tp combusts between me putting it down and me flushing?

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    • Master@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Trust me, you just Mitch Mcconnell that shit. Works every time.

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• betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Inform your host and help them pack up their things. It is the poop’s house now.

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  • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    They’re smart, they’re organized, and they have my keys.

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• M137@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  What a shitty format, the top text should be over the left image and the bottom text should be over the right image. Now it’s just “poop:” for both images, which isn’t what it’s trying to say.

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  • bstix@feddit.dk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Image

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• socsa@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Y’all need to eat more fiber. Literally never had a poop not flush.

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  • some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    My fattest toilet snakes are often the result of fiber intake. They’re nice, healthy logs. Just wider in diameter than the local infrastructure can accommodate. So we use a plunger - it’s not a big deal.

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    • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      They need to make a plunger with a rubber fin for chopping doozies

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    • SalamiDommie@lemmus.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      A Peruvian Bowl Coiler

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    • Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      TFW you look down and are startled because for a moment you think that a Soviet Borei class ballistic missile submarine has surfaced in the toilet bowl

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  • unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I assign you to clean the men’s commode in the morning. I have PTSD from doing it today.

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  • wezzzy@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    More fiber = less flushing you need less liquids always flush

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• cmbabul@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  It has to be an emergency, unless they also have a bidet

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  • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    And if they have a Toto I’m inviting myself over just to poop.

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    • wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I guess it rains down in Africa 🎶 flush, overflowing

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    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      If they have a Toto, not for long they don’t. I have a Toto now.

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• ramenshaman@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  At my job they have those toilets with compressed air. Not a plunger in sight but it’s never been a problem for me. And I’m a large man with large poops.

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  • Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    The fucking what?!

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• TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  NGL I’ve mentally trained myself not to poop outside of home. My body seems to agree because I’ve only pooped twice outside of home since the last time I’ve done so when i was a toddler!

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  • ramenshaman@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You don’t even poop at work?

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    • TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Only once!

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