Dawg, Jesus’s weapon of choice is literally in the Bible, Matthew 10:34:
I have not come to bring (a) peace(maker) but a sword
Dude’s immortal, he’s not afraid to get up close and personal with it
Saved you a click: a 1911
Submitted 2 days ago by mech@feddit.org to [deleted]
https://feddit.org/pictrs/image/1ef6d508-c9ec-42df-a4eb-1e2a361266f0.jpeg
Comments
zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 22 hours ago
U7826391786239@lemmy.zip 2 days ago
Akasazh@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I’d have said Desert Eagle. He did some time in the desert and he died doing a spread eagle (at least half)
vane@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
According to a gun video in “And the Wiener is…”, Moses and Jesus used guns to team up and defeat the Romans.
ashenone@lemmy.ml 2 days ago
Jesus would either rock a Styer AUG or a FN P90 because they are objectively the coolest guns
Psionicsickness@reddthat.com 2 days ago
I wanted to have a differing opinion, but then you said objectively, and I realized you used it right. Damn it.
ashenone@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
I mean maybe Jesus has different criteria for firearm selection than objective coolness
zebidiah@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
I was thinking a Taurus Judge…
Nasan@sopuli.xyz 1 day ago
Self proclaimed fans of Jesus portraying him as a fan of one of the least faithful 1911s is quite on brand.
Fedizen@lemmy.world 21 hours ago
Jesus would obviously use an an AK47.
Objection@lemmy.ml 22 hours ago
1911
Actually, he’d carry a 0.
JayDee@lemmy.sdf.org 1 day ago
I think Jesus would carry a Hi-Point C-9, because it’d be all he could afford in this economy.
DarkFuture@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
That’s what I always assumed. What else would Jesus use to murder immigrants and U.S. citizens?
JoMiran@lemmy.ml 2 days ago
A Sig? Jesus would need to pray to himself that the gun doesn’t go off and shoot his holy dick off.
Ostrakon@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Really only the p320, 1911s are probably the safest carry gun out there
Adulated_Aspersion@lemmy.world 23 hours ago
And what is your criteria for “safe”?
Calfpupa@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
Ask him how he got those holes in his hands…
AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Dual wielding .50 cal 7-shot revolvers. The only handguns that make a Desert Eagle look small.
ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 1 day ago
I think I broke my wrist reading that
CptEnder@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Hey a carpenter knows you can’t beat simple reliability.
rapchee@lemmy.world 1 day ago
wouldn’t he carry a revolver then? semiautomatics are relatively complicated
tbf i only know guns from games and movies
btsax@reddthat.com 1 day ago
In Luke, Jesus tells his followers to sell off some of their clothes to buy weapons so this is not totally out of the realm of possibility
crazycraw@crazypeople.online 2 days ago
would have thought he’d have preferred
…a nail gun.
EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
You beat me to it. I saw a post probably almost 20 years ago by a kid on Facebook talking about how he got banned from a Young Republicans Facebook group for giving this answer. His reasoning was: it’s a carpenter’s tool, not a weapon, and used to help people and improve the community. Kid actually read the Bible and got hate for it.
Fedizen@lemmy.world 21 hours ago
You can’t actually read the bible and be an honest republican. Poor kid, he needs to get better at predicting what his superiors want him to say if he wants to get anywhere in the republican party.
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 1 day ago
1000002089
Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 1 day ago
That’s the gun of a carpenter.
tjsauce@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Love that answer, stealing it!