jesus was jewish, so
Saved you a click: a 1911
Submitted 2 months ago by mech@feddit.org to [deleted]
https://feddit.org/pictrs/image/1ef6d508-c9ec-42df-a4eb-1e2a361266f0.jpeg
Comments
U7826391786239@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
Akasazh@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I’d have said Desert Eagle. He did some time in the desert and he died doing a spread eagle (at least half)
ashenone@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
Jesus would either rock a Styer AUG or a FN P90 because they are objectively the coolest guns
Psionicsickness@reddthat.com 2 months ago
I wanted to have a differing opinion, but then you said objectively, and I realized you used it right. Damn it.
ashenone@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
I mean maybe Jesus has different criteria for firearm selection than objective coolness
zebidiah@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
I was thinking a Taurus Judge…
Nasan@sopuli.xyz 2 months ago
Self proclaimed fans of Jesus portraying him as a fan of one of the least faithful 1911s is quite on brand.
zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Dawg, Jesus’s weapon of choice is literally in the Bible, Matthew 10:34:
I have not come to bring (a) peace(maker) but a sword
Dude’s immortal, he’s not afraid to get up close and personal with it
JayDee@lemmy.sdf.org 2 months ago
I think Jesus would carry a Hi-Point C-9, because it’d be all he could afford in this economy.
JoMiran@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
A Sig? Jesus would need to pray to himself that the gun doesn’t go off and shoot his holy dick off.
Ostrakon@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Really only the p320, 1911s are probably the safest carry gun out there
Adulated_Aspersion@lemmy.world 2 months ago
And what is your criteria for “safe”?
Calfpupa@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
Ask him how he got those holes in his hands…
vane@lemmy.world 2 months ago
According to a gun video in “And the Wiener is…”, Moses and Jesus used guns to team up and defeat the Romans.
AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Dual wielding .50 cal 7-shot revolvers. The only handguns that make a Desert Eagle look small.
ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 2 months ago
I think I broke my wrist reading that
AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Well then you’re absorbing the recoil wrong. Use your shoulders and forearms to resist the recoil, not your wrist.
Fedizen@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Jesus would obviously use an an AK47.
Objection@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
1911
Actually, he’d carry a 0.
CptEnder@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Hey a carpenter knows you can’t beat simple reliability.
rapchee@lemmy.world 2 months ago
wouldn’t he carry a revolver then? semiautomatics are relatively complicated
tbf i only know guns from games and movies
btsax@reddthat.com 2 months ago
In Luke, Jesus tells his followers to sell off some of their clothes to buy weapons so this is not totally out of the realm of possibility
DarkFuture@lemmy.world 2 months ago
That’s what I always assumed. What else would Jesus use to murder immigrants and U.S. citizens?
crazycraw@crazypeople.online 2 months ago
would have thought he’d have preferred
…a nail gun.
EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
You beat me to it. I saw a post probably almost 20 years ago by a kid on Facebook talking about how he got banned from a Young Republicans Facebook group for giving this answer. His reasoning was: it’s a carpenter’s tool, not a weapon, and used to help people and improve the community. Kid actually read the Bible and got hate for it.
Fedizen@lemmy.world 2 months ago
You can’t actually read the bible and be an honest republican. Poor kid, he needs to get better at predicting what his superiors want him to say if he wants to get anywhere in the republican party.
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 2 months ago
1000002089
Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 2 months ago
That’s the gun of a carpenter.
tjsauce@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Love that answer, stealing it!