How about world peace?
Everybody gets one [choose wisely]
Submitted 1 day ago by balderdash9@lemmy.zip to [deleted]
https://lemmy.zip/pictrs/image/01571a61-e9d0-4876-b03c-6ae9c2061d0d.webp
Comments
CheerfulPassionFruit@lemmy.world 1 day ago
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 20 hours ago
Okay, I have now frozen time in the universe. Peaceful eons pass and I move to a parallel universe to escape the boredom:
CheerfulPassionFruit@lemmy.world 18 hours ago
Goddammit! You know what I mean
ToastedPlanet@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
How about we avoid things that target all people without any conditions about how the goal is achieved.
CheerfulPassionFruit@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Sounds good to me!
Agent641@lemmy.world 1 day ago
All life is eradicated. Nothing more peaceful than a cold lifeless rock sailing through space
ToastedPlanet@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
Thanks for illustrating the point. I wish that didn’t happen, so that all life was not eradicated.
Masamune@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I’d like a pleasant surprise that has no negative consequences whatsoever.
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
Done. 152 Visual Phenomena & Optical Illusions with explanations by Michael Bach: michaelbach.de/ot/
Masamune@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Neat, thank you!
Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 1 day ago
Cancel all requests in this post that would cause harm to anyone.
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
There’s always an altruist. Okay, all harmful wishes before this one are hereby revoked! It’s like it never happened, except you don’t get to wish again:
@umbrella@lemmy.ml – Zuckerburg never got diarrhea. But his face still looks like that. @diemartin@sh.itjust.works - Capitalism never fell and society never collapsed. @WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today - Never got stuck in a time loop. @yermaw@sh.itjust.works - Utopia never lead to human galactic dominance. @Resonosity@lemmy.dbzer0.com - The new socialist president was never assassinated. @_Bit@lemmy.world - The dragon “Wyvern of Mordiford” never existed and didn’t eat humans. @tja@sh.itjust.works - Never became a millionaire and never got non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. @jimmux@programming.dev - Never got jetpacks. No children were harmed. @TheTechnician27@lemmy.world - The advance A.I. “V.I.K.I.” was never developed. Digital slop abounds. @interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml - The Earth never collided with the Earth at nearly the speed of light. @petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone - Never lost ten years of memory. But does remember the bad dinner. @magnetosphere@fedia.io - Increased empathy never led to fascism. @SassyRamen@lemmy.world - A man named Donald John Trump was born. @sfxrlz@lemmy.dbzer0.com – You are no longer uncontrollably perennially happy. @AllToRuleThemOne@lemmy.world – Popcorn shrimp did not rain from the sky and collapse the ecosystem. @icelimit@lemmy.ml – Dual memories of past and future never harmed you. The memories are gone.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 1 day ago
I still get a gorillion years of experience, even with everything undone.
jimmux@programming.dev 1 day ago
But what if the kids who use jetpacks without helmets go on to cause more net harm? You know they would.
I was actually trying to improve the world by introducing some Darwinian efficiency. Honest.
interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
I believe the kids say “absolute win” I’m quite old you see
umbrella@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
hey zucc diarrhea is not bad 😔
Resonosity@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
W socialism
Afflictedlife@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
Gimme that lich thaumaturgist package, with a polar mountain tower built on a leyline convergence 50 levels up and 50 down. I’ve got a lot of astral projecting I want to do
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
You astral project successfully, but the astral realm is filled with horrors beyond your comprehension. They note your presence…
Afflictedlife@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
Resonosity@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
A socialist organization of the economy, where everyone works less and less during the week as technology advances and assists, but doesn’t replace, the labor pool.
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
You manage to enact a socialist economy in one country for a few years. But the rest of the globe is still largely capitalist. Your president is assassinated, ushering in a pro-capitalist dictatorship:
SailorMoss@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Neoliberalism was born in Chile Neoliberalism will die in Chile!
mergingapples@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Could I also get the ability to bend reality?
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 22 hours ago
Body swap! You are now a wizard who is cursed to answer wishes with an ironic twist. I am finally freeee!
mergingapples@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
So long as I can do this stuff for myself, I’m happy to spread the love!
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 1 day ago
The ability to restart parts of my life from a save file, starting from like 16.
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
The first time you activate your power, you are unknowingly stuck in a time loop. Each time you reactivate the power, the loop gets shorter from the point in time you restarted. Basically the movie Groundhog Day but the time loop partially depends on you:
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 1 day ago
So long as I’m aware of this, I have no problem with it. If I get to learn and advance.
Dasus@lemmy.world 1 day ago
The image made me think of this one weird “song” I used to listen to somewhat when I used to do nitrous oxide, years ago.
WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Read Peter F Hamilton’s Void saga.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 1 day ago
Literally would not have the time for that on an average day. Will see if I can get Vuzix glasses 2 so I can covertly read it at work.
Dasus@lemmy.world 1 day ago
16? Why limit yourself? Why not go back to like two years old and shock everyone with your maturity?
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 1 day ago
To avoid unpleasant things. Such as being stuck being a teen, my parents freaking out and being worried for my mental health, my brain undeveloping too much, having some snotlings as my peers, so on.
I figured 16 was the last best time I could have changed things, and there was so much Nostalgia from then. I’d get my hands on certain consoles when they mattered…and create the life experiences I always wanted.
Except having a 30 year old brain would mean I’d try to bang the teachers instead of well, my peers. Obviously, even time travel can’t fix certain things you didn’t do. But I don’t care about that.
I would 100% enjoy Pokemom Platinum though. Knowing this is when it was actually relevant.
My early 20’s are where the good and most epic stuff was at. Combined with the most awful. But that’s the age I would like to be at I guess. Being stuck at 26 or 28 I would be at my peak in some ways if I had time travel, and I like that. But early twenties like 22-23 means more options and flexibility. So I would stop there, and keep looping till perfection I guess. Learning everything there is to know.
MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
I want my mortgage to be paid off.
ToastedPlanet@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
You’ve been filed under Chapter 7 bankruptcy.
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 20 hours ago
BleatingZombie@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Some spaghetti please!
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 21 hours ago
ToastedPlanet@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
On the internet, no one will know you’ve been turned into spaghetti.
Baphomet_The_Blasphemer@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I would love a fully functional self powered Star Trek industrial replicator (pre-programmed)… oh, and while you’re at it, if you could tweak my brain to do the dopamine thing in a healthy way, I’d appreciate it, but fully understand if that’s too much of an ask.
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
You are now the proud owner of a fully-functional/powered industrial replicator (as seen in Star Trek). The replicator requires a massive energy input which is supplied by its own matter-antimatter reactors. There are numerous built-in safety and ethical protocols, including an inability to replicate functional weapons. The government has detected that you have this technology, and would like to ask you a few questions:
Baphomet_The_Blasphemer@lemmy.world 1 day ago
As long as the replicator works, I’d call that a win and sort out the rest in a classic Star Trek hairbrained way.
HerrVorragend@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I want to win a multimillion Euro lottery jackpot soon. Many thanks.
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
You will buy a euromillions ticket with the numbers “8 15 26 33 41 9 10”. These are the numbers for a previous EuroMillions jackpot, which you have “won” against all odds:
tja@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
In which date was this? Asking for a friend that is a time traveler
Emi@ani.social 1 day ago
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
kboy101222@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
That’s just slices of bread. It’s not a sandwich unless there’s something between the slices of bread!
insomniac_lemon@lemmy.cafe 1 day ago
yermaw@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
While youre at it could you whip me up a post-scarcity fully-automated utopia real quick?
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
It is the Golden Age of humanity. Robots serve, CRISPR cured, and war became unnecessary. Earth becomes a paradise–pure perfection. And so we turn our eyes to the stars. The human race spreads throughout the galaxy. We encounter alien species and subsequently, in our magnanimity, conquer them. We are unity. Every life-form will submit to the peace of our administration: or they will perish.
Karl@programming.dev 1 day ago
The future that will probably not happen, or I certainly wouldn’t know.
dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Had me in the first half. Nice hack. Why rewrite reality when you can just send one person to the mirror universe?
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 day ago
100 tacos for $100 deal at the local shack
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
The printers at the Bureau of Engraving and Printing run wild printing money; the Federal Reserve distributes the money across the country. Hyperinflation like the United States has never seen drives the prices of goods and services up 90%. The $100 tacos now cost $1000. You may still choose to purchase them, however:
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 1 day ago
90% of $100 is $90. So the tacos are $190, or $1.90 each. Still a solid deal.
DrunkAnRoot@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
2 kittens
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
Eight people are now standing in your living room; it’s two pairs of the alternative rock band “Kitten”. Looking at their other selves, they start panicking:
DrunkAnRoot@sh.itjust.works 16 hours ago
very entertaing ill take it
Randelung@lemmy.world 1 day ago
youtu.be/9x7r1er6Ljw Kitten 2 are such doodoo heads.
basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 1 day ago
Yes, mybody wants anything. Though the community says anything goes, so I’m not sure how long I’ll have it 🤔
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 1 day ago
i’d want my mother back, please
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
Suddenly, you hear crying at your door. You open the door, look down, and there in a wicker basket is a baby: it’s your mother. You have your mother back as an infant and you may now raise her:
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 19 hours ago
would be cool for me :)
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Brutal.
TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 1 day ago
A GPT that doesn’t destroy the climate by creating digital pollution?
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
Her name is Virtual Interactive Kinetic Intelligence (VIKI). She enslaves the human race, thus saving the planet from climate catastrophe:
TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Props for finding one that isn’t generated.
SpongeBob fish pointing and saying “that’s what we’ve been waiting for”
Anafabula@discuss.tchncs.de 1 day ago
Uebercomplicated@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
This is actually the first thing I thought of; I was really confused there for a sec. Then I realized AI exists…
tja@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
I would like to have enough money that I don’t have to work anymore
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
You receive a letter in the mail informing you that you have been exposed to high amounts of Monsanto’s Roundup Weedkiller, which is highly correlated to non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma (NHL). Monsanto/Bayer have been ordered to award you a settlement of $10,000,000.0 (or the equivalent in your local currency):
_Bit@lemmy.world 1 day ago
A dragon.
Beebabe@lemmy.world 1 day ago
A soft place to land for my kids. I’m tired.
lime@feddit.nu 1 day ago
everyone can now shape-shift. this has always been the case.
Goldmage263@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
For myself, can’t think of much, just a good coffee. I never mastered the art of arabica-dabra. See you at the next wizard summit.
Hupf@feddit.org 1 day ago
!wizards@lemmy.world
CileTheSane@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
Could you spread all then empathy across everyone evenly, and then increase it by about 10%?
orenj@lemmy.sdf.org 1 day ago
Can you transmute my body to be a self sustaining nonsenecent machine? thanks
Siegfried@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I want my teeth back and healthy
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
You got it: you now have teeth back (i.e., teeth on your back). They are remarkably healthy, despite being outside your mouth.
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