Doesn’t sound like a loser. Sounds like someone that just needs to ask again tomorrow and maybe moods will be more aligned.
Anon has a dream
Submitted 5 days ago by throwawaybanana@discuss.online to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://discuss.online/pictrs/image/813ea8c8-d810-475c-91e0-9e7baf56f380.png
Comments
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
SitD@lemy.lol 5 days ago
bro the problem is tomorrow’s dream is probably a ww1 trench again, you don’t get to pick the nice ones 😂
ameancow@lemmy.world 4 days ago
It’s not about “her” because “she” doesn’t exist.
This is about self-esteem, not sex or consent. It’s not even about his dream, because plenty of people have dreams where they don’t get what they want. It’s about how he views himself. I’m confused how this post is like, 3-dozen comments about consent and relationships when it’s one kid viewing himself through… himself.
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
Oh yeah, that’s an interesting take. I think it depends on how much you believe dreams represent our subconscious. I believe there is a lot of randomness in dreams and that who you are in dreams is not necessarily who you are. However, you can definitely choose how to frame your recalled dreams in waking life and that’s what I was suggesting.
Zacryon@feddit.org 5 days ago
Being in a consentful intimate relationship is being a loser?
Not directly having sex = losing? Sounds like a distorted and unhealthy perspective on relationships to me.
ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
I had a dream once in which an ex-girlfriend from years ago who I was still in love with appeared and told me that I would never have her back so I should stop being so obsessed with her. Good advice, perhaps, but not what I feel I deserve in my own dreams…
Now that I think about it, I realize that I can’t remember ever having sex in a dream. So much for dreams as wish fulfillment.
spirinolas@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Dude, she’s the one coming on in YOUR dreams uninvited. She’s the one obsessing!
Outwit1294@lemmy.today 5 days ago
Ouch
MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 4 days ago
What a loser.
Asking for consent then respecting the answer he’s given… Real Alphas grab them by the pussy! They like that. ( /s obv.)
stevedice@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
I’m guessing the loser was in reference to his advances being rejected even in his own dream.
agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
There is the theory that dreams are simulations to prepare you for stressful situations. Being exposed to rejection in simulation helps to not react… poorly irl.
Acinonyx@lemmy.sdf.org 5 days ago
haha deserved. fucking incel
Cris_Color@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Men often struggle with isolation, poor self esteem, and mental health issues, telling them they deserve their misery and loneliness only feeds the hateful behaviour you take issue with.
It’s currently men’s mental health awareness month. We can do better than antagonizing the mentally ill, isolated and suffering for our own emotional gratification at their expense. Its actively counterproductive to fixing the societal issues their toxicity creates, and its also needlessly cruel.
entwine413@lemm.ee 5 days ago
This is Greentext, so everything is fake and gay.
koper@feddit.nl 5 days ago
Yikes. Lonely men aren’t automatically an incel.
Allero@lemmy.today 4 days ago
As long as they want sexual connection as well, they technically are (Incel = involuntarily celibate)
But the way incel culture manifested itself, incels began being associated with angry envious misogynistic young men, which is not great and certainly not a good mental framework for someone who just wants intimacy
There are many ways people can start thinking of themselves as undesirable, unwanted, perpetually lonely, and we need to provide some social example for them to begin realizing flaws in their mentality, not reinforcing them.
0ops@lemm.ee 5 days ago
That’s funny, I happen to have you tagged as an incel. Not sure if I want to remind myself why
Uli@sopuli.xyz 5 days ago
Based on his comment history, this guy doesn’t seem very well liked in general. Lots of incel vibes, and he does have some comments in German which I can’t read, but based on the downvotes, I think it’s safe to say his views are unpopular in any language.
Acinonyx@lemmy.sdf.org 5 days ago
that’s funny indeed, but not improbable.
anyhow, which app do you use that lets you tag someone?
OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 5 days ago
replace her with him
latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 days ago
She 👏 Is 👏 Cuddling 👏 With 👏 You 👏 She 👏 Wants 👏 Emotional 👏 Stability 👏 First 👏!!!
Dunno if I used this meme correctly, but I did feel the need for it… I miss cuddling so damned much…
koper@feddit.nl 5 days ago
Yep. If anything, this is an opportunity for the guy to show that he’s not just in it for the sex.
When I date men, one of the main things I look for is how they handle rejection.
latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 days ago
While I’m not all that keen on the concept of testing partners (this coming from someone who can roughly be described as a cishet guy), I do agree that it is a good indicator of both maturity and intent.
Rose_Thorne@lemmy.zip 5 days ago
Given it’s a dream, there could be some interpretation that the OOP is craving emotional stability.
His own subconscious doesn’t even want to have mindless pleasure anymore, but comfort. He denies himself because he doesn’t truly want sex, but the stability of deep, emotional contact.
blarghly@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Also given it’s a dream, the null hypothesis should be that it is completely meaningless, a random firing of neurons that occurs as the brain conducts routine maintenance.
latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 days ago
Agreed, I, too, have come to believe that dreams are basically the subconscious’ attempts at contextualising significant emotional conundrums or cognitive dissonances, and, if not an indicator of OP’s desire for intimacy, it seems to be at least a clear indicator that their subconscious is beginning to be aware of the problem.
Such a pity that so many people who reach this emotional threshold with themselves swing, instead, to shills and bootlickers who just want to propagate any and all forms of unhealthy relationships…
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 days ago
Tbf, those are not mutually exclusive. I want to have sex with someone, preferably someone with whom I have a deep, stable, emotional connection.
I do understand it takes time to build that connection, and am fine with having sex with someone before we get to that stage, but at least ostensibly that’s the direction I’d like to be heading, and if it seems like we’re just not going to get there we can stop having sex and just be friends or even just be acquaintances that don’t really chill because we’re adults and have no time but still be friendly.
I think it used to be called dating back in the day but who knows lol.
muntedcrocodile@lemm.ee 5 days ago
Bro cuddles especially with a back scratch is better than sex ngl
JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 5 days ago
F’real, I’d take cuddling with my bros over sex anyway.
kaeurenne@lemmy.kadaikupi.space 5 days ago
Because I think sexuality is too much to be asked for. She needs marriage, responsibility, pledge for the commitment by the man also.
latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 days ago
I think that comes down to individualpreferences, to be honest. Some people, yeah, want the whole kit and kaboodle of stability before anything jorizontal takes place. Others just want to establish an emotional relationship beforehand, while others are just fine jumping in straight from the go, so to speak. And I genuinely think every variant is fine, we just have to take people at their word and respect their desires as much as possible, sometimes by letting eachother go.
ameancow@lemmy.world 4 days ago
It was his dream. She’s not real. She is a reflection of his own subconscious.
blarghly@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Or she’s not into you and just wants to cuddle. She’ll probably cuddle with her family members too, doesnt mean she wants to fuck them.