That kid is going to develop a bondage fetish
Anti-Masturbation Cross
Submitted 3 months ago by genfood@feddit.org to [deleted]
https://feddit.org/pictrs/image/a59152e1-0015-4772-8bb6-82b1ea762720.jpeg
Comments
100_kg_90_de_belin@feddit.it 3 months ago
JustAnotherKay@lemmy.world 3 months ago
For real. If you’ve ever woken up face down with your morning wood against the mattress you know this cross isn’t helping in the slightest
noxypaws@pawb.social 3 months ago
I’m glad this is clearly a satire website, because people have suggested and performed much much much worse in reality. A certain purveyor of corn flakes comes to mind
yoshisaur@lemm.ee 3 months ago
Corn flakes…?
ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 3 months ago
Oh boy, you get to learn about Dr Kellogg with knowing anything about him but the cereal brand! Lucky
Passerby6497@lemmy.world 3 months ago
Kellogg: The Great American Cum Doctor | BEHIND THE BASTARDS YouTube link
Those corn flakes weren’t made to be a good breakfast time meal, friends.
dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 3 months ago
When I was about 14 I had a friend whose mom caught him masturbating. She duct taped oven mitts to his hands every night before bed for a week until Sunday, when she took him to their priest. The priest told her, basically, she was crazy. Masturbation is a sin, yada yada Catholic line, but that she could not duct tape her child’s hands at night, and because it was a counseling session and not a confessional, he would be required to report her if it continued.
Dude was so fucking messed up, though. Kept up with him on Facebook for a while after j moved, and he ended up doing a lot of SI and then in his mid twenties went full goth and got a shit ton of piercings and tattoos to cover the scars.
CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 months ago
because it was a counseling session and not a confessional, he would be required to report her if it continued.
Wtf…
Passerby6497@lemmy.world 3 months ago
Priests are technically mandatory reporters for any abuse found out about outside of the confessionals.
Bakkoda@sh.itjust.works 3 months ago
Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 3 months ago
Dr Kellogg would approve.
ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 3 months ago
The velcro around his head is to keep him from self-sucking
Jean_le_Flambeur@discuss.tchncs.de 3 months ago
The fact i was considering this to be real for a Moment tells a lot about americans
Famko@lemmy.world 3 months ago
idunnololz@lemmy.world 3 months ago
“self-raping child”
coffeetastesbadlikecoffee@sh.itjust.works 3 months ago
*AI powered self-raping child on the blockchain
Kolanaki@yiffit.net 3 months ago
I probably need one of these and a box of corn flakes.
follica@lemm.ee 3 months ago
Grown ups need this too. Like uh, my friend.
Prime_Minister_Keyes@lemm.ee 3 months ago
Squeeze! squeeze! squeeze! all the morning long; I squeezed that sperm till I myself almost melted into it; I squeezed that sperm till a strange sort of insanity came over me; and I found myself unwittingly squeezing my co-laborers’ hands in it, mistaking their hands for the gentle globules. Such an abounding, affectionate, friendly, loving feeling did this avocation beget; that at last I was continually squeezing their hands, and looking up into their eyes sentimentally; as much as to say,—Oh! my dear fellow beings, why should we longer cherish any social acerbities, or know the slightest ill-humor or envy! Come; let us squeeze hands all round; nay, let us all squeeze ourselves into each other; let us squeeze ourselves universally into the very milk and sperm of kindness.
(Herman Melville, Moby Dick)
dumbass@leminal.space 3 months ago
I could wank in that.
the_grass_trainer@lemmy.world 3 months ago
Yeah, velcro ain’t stopping any urges.
superduperpirate@lemmy.world 3 months ago
Change the colors a bit and this could be some bondage restraints
GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 months ago
“And if the little tikes weeping gets you down, then bundle your purchase with the new Bluey Ball-gag! No more ‘nono’ touching, and you can still hear Jerry Springer!”
asbestos@lemmy.world 3 months ago
need
werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 3 months ago
They’re also looking to increase child birth. So how’s that gonna happen if it’s sin. Church is so fucking stupid.
stoy@lemmy.zip 3 months ago
What.
The.
Fuck.
jordanlund@lemmy.world 3 months ago
It’s for parents more concerned about kids touching themselves than priests touching their kids.
ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 3 months ago
This is actually used to prevent kids from stopping clergy while God groping goes on. The cross makes it a sign from God so it’s okay.
simple@lemm.ee 3 months ago
It’s obviously satire mate
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 3 months ago
And it’s been floating around for at least ten years. So don’t worry, little Timmy is safe.