This sign is bullshit, I accidentally put my prostate massager in my butt all the time, sometimes twice in one day.
We Got You
Submitted 1 year ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to science_memes@mander.xyz
https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/e489464c-2259-4595-9105-db4c4b915858.png
Comments
AngryishHumanoid@reddthat.com 1 year ago
TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 1 year ago
You should try doing it on purpose at least once
TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
If i ever get something stuck up my ass while trying to pleasure myself and need medical help to remove it, I will absolutely try to come up with the most convoluted and ridiculous story for how it got there. Not out of embarrasment, but just to give the ER nurses a good laugh.
li10@feddit.uk 1 year ago
who tf putting a key up there?
over_clox@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Sorry, I thought it would unlock it so I could get all the other items out. Guess it was the wrong key though… ☹️
moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 year ago
consider putting a magnet up there to get the key
usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 1 year ago
Where else can you store them while swimming?
absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz 1 year ago
Ah the old prison wallet. Classic.
Eyeuhnluuung@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I work in a ER and can assure you people high on meth put all sorts of crazy shit in their butt.
Deconceptualist@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Dare I ask, why? I mean obviously meth addicts aren’t known for their shrewd decisions in general, but is there some sensory or cognitive change in particular that compels them to put foreign objects in their butts more than say, alcoholics would?
khannie@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I heard about a guy once, who was a POW, and his friend wanted him to keep a watch for his son so he shoved it way up there.
The reference for the younger among us.
SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 1 year ago
This sign was made by someone who’s never wiped with single-ply before.
DarkCloud@lemmy.world 1 year ago
…and I got news for you, if someone is trying to get you to pull marbles out their ass, then that’s their fetish… Because no one is worried that small marble sized balls won’t eventually come out naturally… They’re looking to bring attention that they’re up there (and possibly to get someone to try to get them out). People are weird.
frezik@midwest.social 1 year ago
Given US healthcare, that’s gotta be more expensive than a leather fetish.
Neon@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Dude, if I have anything up my ass, I’m going to the hospital asap.
“it’s going to come out anyway” sounds like Darwin-award last words
MotoAsh@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I mean, if you cannot pass marbles naturally, you might have other issues a doc should take a look at.
over_clox@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Speaking from experience? 🤔
Cagi@lemmy.ca 1 year ago
“Million to one shot, doc”
scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech 1 year ago
It was a fusilli Jerry
sundray@lemmus.org 1 year ago
sundray@lemmus.org 1 year ago
“We are discreet. But we also think it’s funny.”
the_post_of_tom_joad@hexbear.net 1 year ago
I know from first hand experience you can’t do it by accident as one time, hung over and showering in the dark in the early morning i got a little dizzy and sat down.
Perfectly meeting my starfish to the shampoo bottle on the floor. It could not have been more on target had i attempted this.
I shot up, seeing stars like for real for only the second time in my life. I wasnt dizzy, I was up and attem’ baby. Wooo what a rush! Hurt a lot for a minute. I don’t think that bottle tip made it a millimeter into my pooper.
So yeah, impressible
rockerface@lemm.ee 1 year ago
The sphincter is one of the few muscles that is contracted by default, and you have to consciously loose. So yeah, unless you have some medical condition, not very likely to get something in by accident
the_post_of_tom_joad@hexbear.net 1 year ago
contracted by default
Cool, what others are there? Also, goofy question: what’s the relative strength of this ‘outer anus’? It wasn’t listed in my search for strongest muscles and most results are tips on gaining anus strength
vovo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 year ago
Its different right after anal sex, when your muscels are still relaxed.
Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 1 year ago
… that sign … they just kept it because it seemed funny after they retrieved it from a pacient.
SweetCitrusBuzz@beehaw.org 1 year ago
Wait, why an apple?
don@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Because pineapples are a bit trickier, obviously
Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Especially if there is already a pizza there - people get rally mad
ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 1 year ago
Relatively smooth, round and ‘filling’, comes with a convenient stem to hold on to that definitely won’t break on extraction
Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 1 year ago
… I can only assume it’s like peanut butter with dogs, but you know, for horses.
Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Especially if there is already a pizza there - people get rally mad
GooberEar@lemmy.wtf 1 year ago
Exactly, I don’t get the appeal.
krimson@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Egg? What if it cracks?!
Alawami@lemmy.ml 1 year ago
Fastest salmonella in the west.
ruk_n_rul@monyet.cc 1 year ago
It comes out the way it went in 😂
nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 1 year ago
What if it’s fertilized?
GooberEar@lemmy.wtf 1 year ago
Scramble it.
three@lemm.ee 1 year ago
My MMA trainer said it was actually more effective to boof raw eggs than drinking them.
nailingjello@lemmy.zip 1 year ago
South Park did an entire episode on it, so it must be true.
Yorick@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
Missed the opportunity to put a golden watch on that picture.
rockhstrongo@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I know a medical coder that works exclusively with an ER. Oh the stories I’ve heard…
KellysNokia@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Thoughts and prayers for the one patient for whom it actually was a freak accident
BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Fun fact: If you actually fell and landed on something with enough force to make it’s way inside of you the object would quite literally rip your asshole. When it’s a true accident, it’s very clear due to the blood loss and whatnot
hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 year ago
Probably the priest who fell on a potato while cooking naked
Deepus@lemm.ee 1 year ago
How’d you know he was a priest if he was naked?
JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Reminds me of the episode of Seinfeld when Frank gets a pasta statue stuck up his ass
FinalRemix@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Million-to-one shot, doc!