This sign is bullshit, I accidentally put my prostate massager in my butt all the time, sometimes twice in one day.
We Got You
Submitted 2 years ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to science_memes@mander.xyz
https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/e489464c-2259-4595-9105-db4c4b915858.png
Comments
AngryishHumanoid@reddthat.com 2 years ago
TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 2 years ago
You should try doing it on purpose at least once
TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
If i ever get something stuck up my ass while trying to pleasure myself and need medical help to remove it, I will absolutely try to come up with the most convoluted and ridiculous story for how it got there. Not out of embarrasment, but just to give the ER nurses a good laugh.
li10@feddit.uk 2 years ago
who tf putting a key up there?
over_clox@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Sorry, I thought it would unlock it so I could get all the other items out. Guess it was the wrong key though… ☹️
moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 years ago
consider putting a magnet up there to get the key
usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 2 years ago
Where else can you store them while swimming?
absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz 2 years ago
Ah the old prison wallet. Classic.
Eyeuhnluuung@lemmy.world 2 years ago
I work in a ER and can assure you people high on meth put all sorts of crazy shit in their butt.
Deconceptualist@lemm.ee 2 years ago
Dare I ask, why? I mean obviously meth addicts aren’t known for their shrewd decisions in general, but is there some sensory or cognitive change in particular that compels them to put foreign objects in their butts more than say, alcoholics would?
khannie@lemmy.world 2 years ago
I heard about a guy once, who was a POW, and his friend wanted him to keep a watch for his son so he shoved it way up there.
The reference for the younger among us.
SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 2 years ago
This sign was made by someone who’s never wiped with single-ply before.
DarkCloud@lemmy.world 2 years ago
…and I got news for you, if someone is trying to get you to pull marbles out their ass, then that’s their fetish… Because no one is worried that small marble sized balls won’t eventually come out naturally… They’re looking to bring attention that they’re up there (and possibly to get someone to try to get them out). People are weird.
frezik@midwest.social 2 years ago
Given US healthcare, that’s gotta be more expensive than a leather fetish.
Neon@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Dude, if I have anything up my ass, I’m going to the hospital asap.
“it’s going to come out anyway” sounds like Darwin-award last words
MotoAsh@lemmy.world 2 years ago
I mean, if you cannot pass marbles naturally, you might have other issues a doc should take a look at.
over_clox@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Speaking from experience? 🤔
Cagi@lemmy.ca 2 years ago
“Million to one shot, doc”
scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech 2 years ago
It was a fusilli Jerry
sundray@lemmus.org 2 years ago
sundray@lemmus.org 2 years ago
“We are discreet. But we also think it’s funny.”
the_post_of_tom_joad@hexbear.net 2 years ago
I know from first hand experience you can’t do it by accident as one time, hung over and showering in the dark in the early morning i got a little dizzy and sat down.
Perfectly meeting my starfish to the shampoo bottle on the floor. It could not have been more on target had i attempted this.
I shot up, seeing stars like for real for only the second time in my life. I wasnt dizzy, I was up and attem’ baby. Wooo what a rush! Hurt a lot for a minute. I don’t think that bottle tip made it a millimeter into my pooper.
So yeah, impressible
rockerface@lemm.ee 2 years ago
The sphincter is one of the few muscles that is contracted by default, and you have to consciously loose. So yeah, unless you have some medical condition, not very likely to get something in by accident
the_post_of_tom_joad@hexbear.net 2 years ago
contracted by default
Cool, what others are there? Also, goofy question: what’s the relative strength of this ‘outer anus’? It wasn’t listed in my search for strongest muscles and most results are tips on gaining anus strength
vovo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 years ago
Its different right after anal sex, when your muscels are still relaxed.
Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 2 years ago
… that sign … they just kept it because it seemed funny after they retrieved it from a pacient.
SweetCitrusBuzz@beehaw.org 2 years ago
Wait, why an apple?
don@lemm.ee 2 years ago
Because pineapples are a bit trickier, obviously
Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 2 years ago
Especially if there is already a pizza there - people get rally mad
ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 2 years ago
Relatively smooth, round and ‘filling’, comes with a convenient stem to hold on to that definitely won’t break on extraction
Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 2 years ago
… I can only assume it’s like peanut butter with dogs, but you know, for horses.
Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 2 years ago
Especially if there is already a pizza there - people get rally mad
GooberEar@lemmy.wtf 2 years ago
Exactly, I don’t get the appeal.
krimson@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Egg? What if it cracks?!
Alawami@lemmy.ml 2 years ago
Fastest salmonella in the west.
ruk_n_rul@monyet.cc 2 years ago
It comes out the way it went in 😂
nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 2 years ago
What if it’s fertilized?
GooberEar@lemmy.wtf 2 years ago
Scramble it.
three@lemm.ee 2 years ago
My MMA trainer said it was actually more effective to boof raw eggs than drinking them.
nailingjello@lemmy.zip 2 years ago
South Park did an entire episode on it, so it must be true.
Yorick@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
Missed the opportunity to put a golden watch on that picture.
rockhstrongo@lemmy.world 2 years ago
I know a medical coder that works exclusively with an ER. Oh the stories I’ve heard…
KellysNokia@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Thoughts and prayers for the one patient for whom it actually was a freak accident
BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee 2 years ago
Fun fact: If you actually fell and landed on something with enough force to make it’s way inside of you the object would quite literally rip your asshole. When it’s a true accident, it’s very clear due to the blood loss and whatnot
hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 years ago
Probably the priest who fell on a potato while cooking naked
Deepus@lemm.ee 2 years ago
How’d you know he was a priest if he was naked?
JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Reminds me of the episode of Seinfeld when Frank gets a pasta statue stuck up his ass
FinalRemix@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Million-to-one shot, doc!