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⁨786⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨fossilesque@mander.xyz⁩ to ⁨science_memes@mander.xyz⁩

https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/e489464c-2259-4595-9105-db4c4b915858.png

source

Comments

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  • KellysNokia@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Thoughts and prayers for the one patient for whom it actually was a freak accident

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    • BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Fun fact: If you actually fell and landed on something with enough force to make it’s way inside of you the object would quite literally rip your asshole. When it’s a true accident, it’s very clear due to the blood loss and whatnot

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    • hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Probably the priest who fell on a potato while cooking naked

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      • Deepus@lemm.ee ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        How’d you know he was a priest if he was naked?

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    • JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Reminds me of the episode of Seinfeld when Frank gets a pasta statue stuck up his ass

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      • FinalRemix@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Million-to-one shot, doc!

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  • AngryishHumanoid@reddthat.com ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    This sign is bullshit, I accidentally put my prostate massager in my butt all the time, sometimes twice in one day.

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    • TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      You should try doing it on purpose at least once

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  • TheSlad@sh.itjust.works ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    If i ever get something stuck up my ass while trying to pleasure myself and need medical help to remove it, I will absolutely try to come up with the most convoluted and ridiculous story for how it got there. Not out of embarrasment, but just to give the ER nurses a good laugh.

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    • irreticent@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Again?

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      • over_clox@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Daily

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  • li10@feddit.uk ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    who tf putting a key up there?

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    • over_clox@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Sorry, I thought it would unlock it so I could get all the other items out. Guess it was the wrong key though… ☹️

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      • geogle@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Did you try jiggling it?

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      • moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        consider putting a magnet up there to get the key

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    • usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Where else can you store them while swimming?

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      • absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Ah the old prison wallet. Classic.

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    • Eyeuhnluuung@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I work in a ER and can assure you people high on meth put all sorts of crazy shit in their butt.

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      • Deconceptualist@lemm.ee ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Dare I ask, why? I mean obviously meth addicts aren’t known for their shrewd decisions in general, but is there some sensory or cognitive change in particular that compels them to put foreign objects in their butts more than say, alcoholics would?

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    • khannie@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I heard about a guy once, who was a POW, and his friend wanted him to keep a watch for his son so he shoved it way up there.

      The reference for the younger among us.

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  • SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    This sign was made by someone who’s never wiped with single-ply before.

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  • DarkCloud@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    …and I got news for you, if someone is trying to get you to pull marbles out their ass, then that’s their fetish… Because no one is worried that small marble sized balls won’t eventually come out naturally… They’re looking to bring attention that they’re up there (and possibly to get someone to try to get them out). People are weird.

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    • frezik@midwest.social ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Given US healthcare, that’s gotta be more expensive than a leather fetish.

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    • Neon@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Dude, if I have anything up my ass, I’m going to the hospital asap.

      “it’s going to come out anyway” sounds like Darwin-award last words

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      • MotoAsh@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        I mean, if you cannot pass marbles naturally, you might have other issues a doc should take a look at.

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    • over_clox@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Speaking from experience? 🤔

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  • Cagi@lemmy.ca ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    “Million to one shot, doc”

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    • scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      It was a fusilli Jerry

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    • sundray@lemmus.org ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Image

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  • sundray@lemmus.org ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    “We are discreet. But we also think it’s funny.”

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  • the_post_of_tom_joad@hexbear.net ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I know from first hand experience you can’t do it by accident as one time, hung over and showering in the dark in the early morning i got a little dizzy and sat down.

    Perfectly meeting my starfish to the shampoo bottle on the floor. It could not have been more on target had i attempted this.

    I shot up, seeing stars like for real for only the second time in my life. I wasnt dizzy, I was up and attem’ baby. Wooo what a rush! Hurt a lot for a minute. I don’t think that bottle tip made it a millimeter into my pooper.

    So yeah, impressible

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    • rockerface@lemm.ee ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      The sphincter is one of the few muscles that is contracted by default, and you have to consciously loose. So yeah, unless you have some medical condition, not very likely to get something in by accident

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      • the_post_of_tom_joad@hexbear.net ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        contracted by default

        Cool, what others are there? Also, goofy question: what’s the relative strength of this ‘outer anus’? It wasn’t listed in my search for strongest muscles and most results are tips on gaining anus strength

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    • vovo@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Its different right after anal sex, when your muscels are still relaxed.

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  • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    … that sign … they just kept it because it seemed funny after they retrieved it from a pacient.

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  • SweetCitrusBuzz@beehaw.org ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Wait, why an apple?

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    • don@lemm.ee ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Because pineapples are a bit trickier, obviously

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      • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Especially if there is already a pizza there - people get rally mad

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    • ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Relatively smooth, round and ‘filling’, comes with a convenient stem to hold on to that definitely won’t break on extraction

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    • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      … I can only assume it’s like peanut butter with dogs, but you know, for horses.

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      • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Especially if there is already a pizza there - people get rally mad

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    • GooberEar@lemmy.wtf ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Exactly, I don’t get the appeal.

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  • krimson@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Egg? What if it cracks?!

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    • Alawami@lemmy.ml ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Fastest salmonella in the west.

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      • ruk_n_rul@monyet.cc ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        It comes out the way it went in 😂

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    • nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      What if it’s fertilized?

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    • GooberEar@lemmy.wtf ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Scramble it.

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    • three@lemm.ee ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      My MMA trainer said it was actually more effective to boof raw eggs than drinking them.

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      • nailingjello@lemmy.zip ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        South Park did an entire episode on it, so it must be true.

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  • Yorick@sh.itjust.works ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Missed the opportunity to put a golden watch on that picture.

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  • rockhstrongo@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I know a medical coder that works exclusively with an ER. Oh the stories I’ve heard…

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