As a guy with audhd and long hair, when life gets extra tough, cutting all my hair off is simple way to remove extra self-care steps from my life. This allows me to focus on other more pressing tasks. And it’s completely reversible
Anon notices a trope
Submitted 9 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/6c56b142-5f56-4010-b870-2ba80914a753.png
Comments
Dearth@lemmy.world 9 months ago
morphballganon@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Growing back takes time
Dearth@lemmy.world 9 months ago
So does personal growth
CoffeeJunkie@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Speaking as a man with no hair now – it’s very freeing. It is physicall cool, it is less bullshit to deal with. No waking up & being like, ooo, gotta work with my fucking hair. Others are saying it’s autonomy & control, probably not wrong, but it’s also just plain smart. Practical.
Also a defensive strategy. If the hair is kept short, people can’t grab you by the hair & force your head around. Yank your head back & slit your throat.
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I’m a dude who grew his hair out because it’s less work to deal with. Just pull it back and I’m good to go. When it’s short my hair is totally unruly.
Though when it starts looking crazy I’m going full Kratos.
CoffeeJunkie@lemmy.cafe 9 months ago
Okay there you go, if it looks good by all means keep it going. Even if it looks bad, it’s your life, not mine…
Word to the wise, my male friends with ponytails have reported (same as women) don’t make that damn ponytail too tight!! Headaches. And it will strain your hair, cause excess thinning, damage. Again, so they say, no personal experience. Oh & if/when you embrace bald: handheld skull shavers are simply amazing. It’s great to have one around!
niktemadur@lemmy.world 9 months ago
laissez hair
dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I’m not a doctor or psychologist. I’m also aware that I’m replying to a greentext, but hear me out.
I think it’s simply “exercising agency and bodily autonomy.” Being able to modify one’s own body is a way to establish that you have the most basic form of control over yourself and your environment. It can help arrest the sensation of being out of control or under complete control of outside forces; an answer to feeling totally vulnerable. Cutting your hair off is an easy and quasi-socially-acceptable way to do this.
Were you not able to do this somehow, of your own volition, you’re probably in a very bad way and have much bigger problems to solve.
DumbAceDragon@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
Could also be that in a life or death scenario having your hair in the way of your sight isn’t beneficial
Varyk@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
Trauma cut, a distancing from the identity that experienced trauma
DScratch@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
Good enough for Max Payne, good enough for me.
Draegur@lemm.ee 9 months ago
“the sudden awareness that i do not want an easy to grasp handle on my head that someone could grab me by if i’m under attack”
samus12345@lemmy.world 9 months ago
lath@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Short or no hair means better ventilation, which speeds up neuron activation.
agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
I’ve grown my my hair out and chopped it off several times. Maybe it’s some woo-woo psychic antenna thing, or maybe it’s the psychosomatic effect of the physical weight and inertia tugging on your scalp, but either way, each chop came with a feeling of emotional distance from the world. An almost immediate aloofness.
Feathercrown@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Bro became a monk
halfapage@lemmy.world 9 months ago
[deleted]dumbass@leminal.space 9 months ago
Beards have terrible aerodynamics.
Shard@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Gas masks don’t seal well around a beard either.
JokeDeity@lemm.ee 9 months ago
Not at all a woman only thing, and it’s even been portrayed in movies by men, for example the suicide attempt scene in The Royal Tannenbaums.
MindTraveller@lemmy.ca 9 months ago
Greg Universe also cut his hair off during a crisis situation.
JokeDeity@lemm.ee 9 months ago
And that’s a person or a thing!
paultimate14@lemmy.world 9 months ago
As a guy with long hair I did this once.
First breakup. We were both young and toxic to each other, and let the other be toxic.
After some reflection I cut my hair for a variety of reasons.
I’ve seen the studies and speculation that it’s a control thing, related to exercising bodily autonomy.
One was just that I was in college for business degrees- I always kind of knew my career would be better off with short hair anyways. Once I graduated, got a job, and got established at my company I grew my hair long again. It’s still long now, probably longer than it was originally.
Another was that I wanted to be a different person. I looked back on who I was in that relationship and thought hard about who I wanted to become. While on a vacuum I preferred the long hair, and I objectively knew my hair could stay the same while my personality changed, on a subjective level I think yhe change helped. It was a visual boundary in time- when I go back and look at pictures of myself it’s very easy and obvious to see that change. It helped me to think about my long-haired self as the “old me”- younger, less experienced, more raw and flawed.
Another was the emotional connection between her and my hair. While I liked the long hair and grew it before we had started dating, she really liked my long hair too. It hurt to have the same hair she used to run her fingers through swinging in front of my face. So in a sense, cutting my hair felt like cutting my connection to her.
Finally, I also started growing my beard. I had always wanted facial hair, but she didn’t like it so I shaved. This seemed like a good opportunity to see what I could grow, but having long hair AND a beard seemed like a lot at the time. Now I have both of course.
Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
It’s called “not getting scalped”
Taokan@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
I always assumed there was some tradition to cutting your hair short before going to war, because long hair would present numerous liabilities - more maintenance, potential visibility issues, potential to foil cover/disguise, and potential vulnerability in hand to hand combat. And there is a lot of military tradition to a short haircut, though I’m not sure how much is based on the above reasoning. But I’m not a historian so maybe this is just a bad interpretation of Mulan or a random teacher passing on low quality education.
davidgro@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I’ve been watching Battlestar Galactica (2004) and noticed a case of the opposite. It makes sense in context, but it’s an inversion of the trope. (And when things went back to normalish she cut it short again)
CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I thought that wasn’t a choice but instead because she wasn’t allowed sharp objects. A symbol of her being forced to do things she wouldn’t normally do. But maybe I’m misremembering. I do remember the dinner scene but it’s hard to cut your hair properly by yourself with scissors much less a steak knife.
davidgro@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Yeah, it was a result of the situation - like I said, makes sense in context. Just a counterexample that happened to be fresh in my mind
Biotron1@lemmy.world 9 months ago
It’s called a french woman in 1945
thedeadwalking4242@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I’m a dude with long hair, long hair is a burden. It fucks up your vision, can be irritating, requires lots of maintenance. When you are under pressure for any reason id say it’s nice for it to just be gone
morphballganon@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Was Mulan the first instance?
massive_bereavement@fedia.io 9 months ago
Alien 3 was in 1992 and I don't think Mulan did it out of a Crisis situation and more of a woman passing as a boy trope, which is older than TV or cinema.
Etterra@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Final Fantasy 9 did it, arguably.
samus12345@lemmy.world 9 months ago
As far as video games go, Wild Arms did it in 1996.
paultimate14@lemmy.world 9 months ago
The story of Mulan seems to take place during the Wei dynasty, and was probably written during it as well. So that would place it between the late 300’s and early 500’s CE.
I immediately thought of Samson from the old Testament. It’s estimated that story takes place around 1,000 BCE. Not sure if anyone knows of anything older.
morphballganon@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Was Samson a woman?
lessthanluigi@lemmy.world 9 months ago
It happened to a guy in And Justice For All in 1979.
Crashumbc@lemmy.world 9 months ago
the legend of Billie Jean was 85’
yamanii@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I’m surprised the screenshot is from a movie or something because I only noticed this in anime and thought it was a japan thing.
spujb@lemmy.cafe 9 months ago
it happens in movies because it happens in real life too. when in crisis, often there is sense of loss of control or autonomy. for most, something that can provide an outlet for such a frustration is one’s appearance. and, while men do too, women broadly tend to have the more intimate relationship with their hair. so: haircut (or hair dye, or both).
dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 9 months ago
Can confirm the guy side of this. Have shaved my head in moments of crisis. Not something I consciously considered before doing it. Just felt… Idk, claustrophobic and needed to do something.
Also, when my mom was in the hospital last year, had I been able to get in with one, I would’ve had a tattoo by the time she got out.
Kyatto@leminal.space 9 months ago
I’ve done it before too, lowest point in my life, just grabbed some scissors and cut down my long hair :(
A little upsetting to see people calling it a trope, when it is a real reaction to trauma :/
sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 9 months ago
Also guy here, did this as well.
But uh, mainly because I literally cannot get to a haircut place. Been functionally hobbled for 6 months, car got stolen, don’t know anybody nearby with a car, no public transit.
Been ordering delivery groceries for a while now, added a buzz trimmer to it this month.
At the rate my hair grows, it’ll be back to roughly the length I usually keep it at by the time my PT regimen gets me back into ‘normal’ shape (probably another 6 months).
TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I have full sleeve tattoos that started as piecemeal trauma tattoos. I get it.
unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 9 months ago
Also hair is uncontrollable and gets everywhere if you let it. If you are already stressed, then you can literally get annoyed by your hair existing on your head doing its thing.
spujb@lemmy.cafe 9 months ago
yes! i wanted to mention this, that hair can be a sensory overload problem too so cutting hair can just be a way to optimize sensory performance in a state of stress as well. but i forgot so thanks for the reminder!
rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 9 months ago
Women fuck their hair?
2ugly2live@lemmy.world 9 months ago
“Intimate” as in close, and personal/important, not… That.