I think the best part is that he asked almost like he was making a doctor’s appointment lol “are you available at 3pm on Thursday for some dehumanizing unprotected sex with a smelly neckbeard? No? Would Friday work better?”
Comment on Anon is true romantic
SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 10 months ago
Ive had a crush on you for a while
Good start
Are you down …
hmm
to get barebacked
aaaand derailed
MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 10 months ago
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Well, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take…
MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 10 months ago
You miss 100% of the shots you DO take if your shots are all thrown as hard as possible in the opposite direction of the basket…
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Nah, it might bounce off something and back into the basket. :) Extremely unlikely, but there’s a chance!
snooggums@midwest.social 10 months ago
…unless?
Apytele@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
[deleted]TriPolarBearz@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Plot twist: she has difficulty with reading comprehension and understanding modern slang. She actually would have been interested in casual unprotected sex with him. But anon stopped reading and didn’t clarify himself.
Rolando@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Alternate plot twist: she really loves horseback riding and always wanted to try riding a horse without a saddle (i.e. “bare back”) but was a little nervous and wanted someone to help her with it. One day, she told herself, she would find the right person to “bareback” with.
Then anon DMs her. “Yes,” she says, “I will bareback with you! meet me at the horse ranch.”
Anon’s like “horse ranch? wtf” but goes for it. The fated hour arrives and anon rolls with it. they all live happily ever after.
Mango@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Honesty bad. Only good if you’re a good boy who don’t want no sex.
Serinus@lemmy.world 10 months ago
It’s called tact. Maybe even basic social interaction. Also “to get barebacked”? How is that supposed to be appealing?
Hey, guess what. I like girls, but if an attractive girl comes up to me and says, “want me to shove my clam in your face?” my answer is going to be “what the fuck is wrong with you.”
Mango@lemmy.world 10 months ago
You see, if women were actually interested in men, that wouldn’t be a thing. Apparently 80% of them are not. If a girl comes asking me for the throne like that, it’s gonna depend on the girl. Looks clean and healthy? Aww yeah, I’m not busy! Maybe I’ll call for an STD test with that kind of attitude.
atomicorange@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Not everyone is that pathetic. Most of us actually want to interact with people and find out what they’re like before fucking them.
kandoh@reddthat.com 10 months ago
Women love sex, but there are social repercussions for women that enjoy sex and ‘give it up’ easy. Also, as the physically weaker partner they often don’t get to have the sort of sex they want to be having, instead having to lay there and get violently rammed into for 5 minutes.
Taleya@aussie.zone 10 months ago
You see, if women were actually interested in men
Oh we’re definitely interested in men. Your experiences otherwise are solely to do with your personality, not your gender
GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
Not sure I can believe any of the text because anon wasn’t immediately told to stay the fuck away or worse, and blocked.
She doesnt need to know the exact meaning, “I’m into you and want to do x with/to you” is clear enough that anon has romantic or sexual intent.
That anon got a not utterly revolted response to that hailmary is more an indication that the interest is mutual than not I’d say
spicytuna62@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Hell, even “are you down…” isn’t bad. Suggested finishers:
Basically anything but that.
Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 10 months ago
originalfrozenbanana@lemm.ee 10 months ago
Damnit now I wanna smash
Sad ooh-ah-ah-ah-ah
funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
you don’t even get to finish the last ah before she weds you
VaalaVasaVarde@sopuli.xyz 10 months ago
What about
spicytuna62@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Who knows? Maybe she’s down…
png@discuss.tchncs.de 10 months ago
Birbatron@slrpnk.net 9 months ago
I hate that I’m doing this but the history need within me can’t let this one be
It’s the republic not the empire
Sorry I’ll leave noe
RightHandOfIkaros@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Save some women for the rest of us, sheesh
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 10 months ago
If she says yes to the Skaven it’s your duty as a proud Dawi to crush her skull lest she infiltrates the clan.
Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Dude, if she says yes to building a skaven army, you wife her immediately.
Trust me, I did.
VaalaVasaVarde@sopuli.xyz 10 months ago
Then we’re back to “Wanna smash?”
RightHandOfIkaros@lemmy.world 10 months ago
"Are you down…:
joshoff@lemmynsfw.com 10 months ago
What a shame — I kinda love it
Fermion@feddit.nl 10 months ago
You need to sweeten the pot with calzones if you expect anyone to play cones of dunshire as a first date.
LittleBorat2@lemmy.ml 10 months ago
He could have just copy pasted these bullet points