Comment on Foolproof advice

spiffynova@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

• Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  “Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are.”

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  • SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Yes, that one there officer. He tried to put a Kraft Single in my bra.

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    • lime@feddit.nu ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      no wonder it didn’t work, that’s not even cheese

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      • Asidonhopo@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Nilered did a video on this, it’s technically at least cheese-adjacent

        youtu.be/0aGNAxN5Z-o

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    • outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      He failed though. Arrest him, and bring me someone taller.

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  • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    To be fair, cheese works on most people, whether or not they’re ovulating.

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  • krunklom@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    The cheese is under my foreskin

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• Spezi@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Image

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  • DharmaCurious@startrek.website ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Would marry that farmer. No questions asked, no long engagement. Straight to the court house, we’re getting hitched.

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  • hovercat@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    That’s kind of an insane gift for a first date given how expensive cheese is.

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    • LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I mean, if he makes it himself or knows the people who do, he probably gets it a lot cheaper than at the store.

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  • bitjunkie@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    True love right there

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  • kilgore_trout@feddit.it ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Bro, plastic cheese…

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    • Homesnatch@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Bro, that’s cheese coated in wax.

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      • oyo@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        It blows my mind that someone cool, intelligent, and attractive enough to read Vonnegut doesn’t know such a basic cheese fact.

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      • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        i mean it does also seem to be wrapped in plastic

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• Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Fun fact, the digestion of milk/cheese creates casomorphins from caesin, one of the most prominent peptides in milk. Casomorphins can activate opioid receptors. Giving a woman a slice of cheese might work in your benefit if she eats the cheese.

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  • Feathercrown@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I read that as “a slice of milk” and like. Technically yeah it’s not wrong

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• kerrigan778@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Yeah but this one unironically works for a lot of women.

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  • Etterra@discuss.online ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Works for a lot of men too. I mean not me. I prefer mozzarella.

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• Sunschein@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Idk, this piece of advice legitimately works on my wife.

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• BlueLineBae@midwest.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  That show one just reminded me that when we bought our house and had to start renovations on it, the attic had lots of women’s shoes. Just one shoe from a pair and all different shoes. I have so many questions for the previous owner, but unfortunately they are no longer with us.

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  • SolarMonkey@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    If they were all the same size, perhaps amputee?

    Or maybe a really specific fetish.

    Maybe both.

    Quite possibly a question best left unanswered, at least until you no longer live there

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  • Etterra@discuss.online ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Maybe they robbed a shoe store. On displays they frequently leave one shoe from a pair so that stealing them just nets you a pile of left shoes lol

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• outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  My ex gf and i used to steal each other fancy cheeses. It was the most intense love i have ever felt.

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  • DharmaCurious@startrek.website ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    My mom and I used to steal fancy cheese for each other. God I miss that woman like you can’t believe. 10/10 mom and person.

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    • outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      This made me cry.

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      • DharmaCurious@startrek.website ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Ha. She’s one worth crying over. Lost her in April, and I don’t know that I’ll recover. Hug your loved ones. ♥️

        But I will tell you, she taught me how to steal fantastic cheeses, and we never went hungry again. Haha.

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  • icelimit@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    How do you steal each other fancy cheeses? Or steal fancy cheese from each other?

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    • outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      So, you steal a fancy cheese, right? Then you give it to your girlfriend. Then maybe she steals a fancy cheese that reminds her of you and passes it off. Now youve stolen each other fancy cheeses.

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      • icelimit@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        From where though? The fancy cheese store? Does every town have one of these for purposes of romantic theft?

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• faythofdragons@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I like the idea that these are all steps to one process. Like, you gotta steal her shoe and some hair and pins, and the best distraction is with cheese.

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• achance4cheese@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Fascinating

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  • cypherpunks@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    🖖

    also: username checks out

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• madjo@feddit.nl ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I keep stealing shoes, and filling it with rue, but all it’s given me are shouting matches

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• Etterra@discuss.online ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I tried this with my fiance with a dairy allergy and now I’m single again.

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• krunklom@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Bitches love cheddar

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• Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  The stinkier the cheese, the more the fascination!

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