“If Man is made in God’s image, does that mean God has a functioning penis?” is a fun question to ask biblical literalists.
Motion of the ocean n all that
Submitted 6 days ago by Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/d79a2eb9-191f-45c1-a48e-cdf49d511a1d.jpeg
Comments
ceenote@lemmy.world 6 days ago
FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world 6 days ago
And a bellybutton
Which implies that god was birthed
So, by whom?
backalleycoyote@lemmy.today 6 days ago
Can God create a penis so heavy he can’t lift it?
FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world 6 days ago
How do you think I got this hawg?
imadethis@fedinsfw.app 6 days ago
There’s a much better question to be asked about such a particular organ. :D
And the answer, for me (for humans), is no.
OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Great, now im thinking about god’s hot juicy cock again
hydrogen@feddit.org 6 days ago
„again“? 😂
ytg@sopuli.xyz 6 days ago
According to the theology of some Christian denominations (I can’t remember which, exactly), the answer is yes.
Kwiila@slrpnk.net 6 days ago
Image search “Yahweh and his Asherah”. Back when he was chill, Him and his best bud barely had a complete outfit between them. (Then his gf/sis ran off with his buddy, and the rest is human history /jk.)
groet@feddit.org 6 days ago
And if he does … why? What does he do with it? As the single existence in the universe before genesis. Its a sexual organ. Who/what does he have sex with? Does god masturbate all day?
lauha@lemmy.world 6 days ago
As a God’s image, I know that he masturbates all day every day.
Saprophyte@lemmy.world 6 days ago
He has sex with Asherah. They crested other gods together.
hansolo@lemmy.today 6 days ago
Was that not what manna was in the Old Testament? Drops of “Oh Yeahway”?
hakunawazo@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 6 days ago
Well, also the smallest.
PattyMcB@lemmy.world 6 days ago
And perfectly average! (At least that’s what she told him)
devolution@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Caine: well…
Lilith: Im stuck in a cave stepson.
bizarroland@lemmy.world 6 days ago
And don’t forget it was handcrafted by God to perfection.
thoughtfuldragon@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 days ago
Eve invented wood working out of frustration.
Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de 5 days ago
There were no male horses or elephants?
hansolo@lemmy.today 5 days ago
Blue whales?
Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Nope
SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 5 days ago
“I’m literally made out of one of your bones! And you STILL can’t find it?”
pewpew@feddit.it 5 days ago
*human penis
Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Only ones that matter
elbiter@lemmy.world 6 days ago
It’s also the tightest pussy…
Jinni@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
Damn, no wonder the snake had such an easy time tempting her.
Brekky@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Also the smallest…
robocall@lemmy.world 5 days ago
But does he eat you out, Eve?
orlyowl@piefed.ca 6 days ago
But I’m a grower not a shower!
Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Yes and I’m hungry. Fetch me a sandwich
arctanthrope@lemmy.world 6 days ago
the biggest human penis on earth. maybe the Serpent was packing
MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 6 days ago
The Serpent actually was Adams penis and I have no idea where I’m going with this.
PattyMcB@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Neither did the drug addict who wrote Genesis
ragingHungryPanda@piefed.keyboardvagabond.com 6 days ago
The serpent did in fact tempt them with the idea of things they’d never experienced before
Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de 5 days ago
But does the serpent eat you out, Eve?
Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 days ago
Trouser snake?
MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 6 days ago
Fumbles… it was always Fumbles.
OwOarchist@pawb.social 6 days ago
And, at least biblically speaking, there would have been horses somewhere around at the time.
SavinDWhales@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Were there sheep as well?
"No. I said Adam and Eve, not Adam and Ewe!"