If we get invaded by aliens, I’m immediately defecating.
Anyone else
Submitted 2 months ago by LadyButterfly@lazysoci.al to memes@sopuli.xyz
https://lazysoci.al/pictrs/image/f9944bd8-19ec-4393-baf9-f0470ec6850b.jpeg
Comments
tauren@lemm.ee 2 months ago
stray@pawb.social 2 months ago
Good thinking. The probe goes in easier when you empty you bowels.
LadyButterfly@lazysoci.al 2 months ago
I see what you did there
Notyou@sopuli.xyz 2 months ago
Should have worn the brown pants.
acidbattery@lemm.ee 2 months ago
[deleted]CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world 2 months ago
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org 2 months ago
You can probe me anytime 😏
Scary_le_Poo@beehaw.org 2 months ago
The tip is the worst part
Revan343@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 2 months ago
Interstellar bootlicking
Ghosthacked@lemm.ee 2 months ago
Yep I’m defecting. A third of my own countrymen hate me, so fuck 'em. Gimme the alien tech.
VitoRobles@lemmy.today 2 months ago
After the pandemic, Im so done with half this country.
Alaik@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
I get what you’re trying to say but its not half. Republican turnout has always been higher than leftist turnout. Its probably a third. Thats still a third too high though I know.
ignoble_stigmas@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
The same for the rise of the machines
Alistaire@sopuli.xyz 2 months ago
If we ever get invaded by aliens, we’ll just be their lab rats. They won’t enslave us, because not efficient. They ain’t here for our resources, that’s the lamest thing to do. They ain’t coming here to erase us from existence, because the universe is mostly void, so our existence doesn’t matter to them, we occupy insignificant space in that.
supercriticalcheese@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Lots of assumptions there, let’s hope if it ever happens that they are less douchebags that we are
Notyou@sopuli.xyz 2 months ago
They might want the resources of earth.
There is also a chance they might want to hunt and/or rape us for the fun of it.
CheeseNoodle@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Nothing material on earth you can’t find everywhere else, the only things we have that aren’t incredibly plentiful elsewhere are earths unique biology and human culture. Both of which can also be obtained without us ever knowing about it. The only logical reason to invade is ideological so if we ever meet hostile aliens they’re either genocidal zealots or a bunch of sadists.
throwawayacc0430@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Ye Wenjie is that you?
Anomalocaris@lemm.ee 2 months ago
book two: do not make a peep, never let anyone in the universe know you exist
spoilers:
book three: we made a group chat with all the intelligent life in the universe, wanna hit restart a fuck up s new universe with multiple time dimensions?
FreakinSteve@lemmy.world 2 months ago
TO SERVE MAN
levzzz@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Can’t wait for the events of half-life 2 to happen, huh?
DaddleDew@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Rob badly wants to become a stalker it seems. Hey, you do you, Rob.
lowleekun@ani.social 2 months ago
As a warhammer 40k enthusiast i have to hard pass. Space fascism, while entertaining in fantasy, is kind of very disgusting.
PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
Arent the space fascists human, though?
Ageroth@reddthat.com 2 months ago
Pretty sure it’s space fascist all the way down. There are no good guys in the 40k universe
lowleekun@ani.social 2 months ago
Yes but also the other comment. WH40K is full of different breeds of god damn awful. All of them pretty fashy.
spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
Lol, so you’re not siding with the humans then. At least some of the aliens aren’t space fascists…
lowleekun@ani.social 2 months ago
The post is talking about siding with invading aliens because “humans bad”. I said, i am not so sure about it, might be fascists. Now you tell me some aliens from 40k are not fascists which is all stuff not contradicting each other.
Id still consider it pretty bad to unconditionally support invaders as invading seems pretty fash to me.
bhamlin@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I’m just here for the discounts on probing.
untakenusername@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
nah humans would win
Saledovil@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Probably not. Just being capable of interstellar spaceflight opens up some really nice ways to kill a lot of people, such as redirecting asteroids. Or just drop nuclear bombs from orbit. Nothing we could do. Also, what if the aliens show up with more soldiers than we have people?
piccolo@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
For all we know they already fired a death laser that we’ll never know until we’re dead.
untakenusername@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
such as redirecting asteroids. Or just drop nuclear bombs from orbit
i mean we could totally do that, if you gave space programs a few trillion (which is the level of funding an alien invasion would cause) we could probably move asteroids within a decade
VitoRobles@lemmy.today 2 months ago
Can confirm. I played thousands of hours of Destiny, Call of Duty, and Halo. I think my KD is like 3.5 with bots, but 0.22 with humans. So aliens, probably in the middle.
Guys I’m ready to be a hero.
LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Aliens: Sorry but we automated shit-shoveling a long time ago, now get in the food processor.
kenoh@lemm.ee 2 months ago
Wait. That’s treason.
rustyfish@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Gonna act like I’m not an agent of Slaanesh. Go Xenos! ❤️
kd45@lemm.ee 2 months ago
Isn’t that basically the plot of The X-Files?
LethargicPuppy14@lemm.ee 2 months ago
And Three Body Problem
lemmydividebyzero@reddthat.com 2 months ago
Let’s hope for a long fight… If humanity has an external enemy, we would focus on killing them instead of killing each other.
Dagwood222@lemm.ee 2 months ago
Look at the history of colonization.
The French and British both allied with Native tribes in America who already hated each other.
It’s Exploitation 101. Offer superior weapons to the weakest group in any area and watch them do all your killing for you. Even better, they can never say anything to you, because now their old enemies hate them even more.
LadyButterfly@lazysoci.al 2 months ago
Yep, black and white would team together to batter green. It’ll literally take that though
atlien51@lemm.ee 2 months ago
How nice! I’m sure they’ll let him live as their obedient dog
itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
M137@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Spaliens
pewgar_seemsimandroid@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
watch space aliens who gave up nukes get demolished.
moody@lemmings.world 2 months ago
Odds are that any aliens sufficiently advanced to come here would be able to tell we have nuclear weapons.
tetris11@feddit.uk 2 months ago
I have this fantasy often. Aliens come in, and are like “Whilst we find the creative potential of your species commendable, the Gini Coefficient of your Planet is too high for you to join our Federation. Please rectify.”
And then every month they just post the names and active addresses of all the wealthiest people on the planet, until the Gini Index goes down. The implementation of this is left to the imagination of the reader.
chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I’ve seen too many alien-themed horror movies to buy into the “aliens are gonna be Vulcans” trope. I think it’s more likely that we see one of many variations on the “aliens are unknowable horrifying parasites that will consume/transform all life on the planet to suit themselves.”
tetris11@feddit.uk 2 months ago
I live in the hope that they’re so evolved that they literally need nothing from us, and just want to preserve the ants nest of humanity as an anthropological curiosity
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 months ago
If a civilization that has mastered FTL shows up we are fucked. The best odds for survival are jumping to their side because they could destroy us easily. Maybe we’ll get lucky and it will be a civilization of space amazons who want to use us for sex stuff.