Submitted 4 days ago by Mickey7@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/f61512a9-d861-4ade-86e5-215a2cee85b0.png
My dad was smart when I was growing up. He is smart now.
But he’s so entrenched in the worst right wing political lunacy, and always has been, that I’ve rarely viewed him as someone to imitate morally.
I blew up at him as a teen over the Iraq War. He never once justified his position in anything remotely resembling a reasoned argument, but I hurt his feelings, so I had to apologize to him about it. That family dynamic has never really changed, so I just don’t talk to him anymore.
but I hurt his feelings, so I had to apologize to him
This happens way too commonly for me. My mum or dad do something ludicrous, I call them out for it, they can’t retort anything I’ve said, they get butthurt, the other comes to me telling me I need to apologise, I do, they learn nothing, rinse repeat
I failed one subject in my final year of uni so I had to repeat a year only doing that one subject, and they convinced me to move back in because I wasn’t doing much. Very stupid move on my part. I’m glad I’m out. Nice to catch up with them but oh boy it’s terrible living with them
That’s exactly it, yep. I’m well over apologizing at this point.
And yeah, I also moved back home for a while after college, and it was a bad time. Plenty of good, but plenty I’m glad to leave behind. Let us all strive to be better people than our parents were, I say.
I’m glad you’re out, and I hope you’re doing well. Stay safe out there!
so I had to apologize to him about it. That family dynamic has never really changed
Good news! Now that you’re an adult, when your dad demands an apology you can tell him to go fuck himself
Ah, that’s the thing. He never demanded an apology. He sulked, and it was others in the family who learned about it (through either me or him) that told me I was wrong and to apologize.
I’ve never been one to back down from a conflict I thought was worthwhile. It wasn’t until I was literally a married adult when an in-law (whom we love dearly) told my SO about how my family “sweeps things under the rug”. When my SO told me later, I was like “nah… but wait do we though?” That led to a lot of revisiting old memories and realizing how conflict avoidant we really were (except for me, lol).
Yeah, if either of my parents demanded an apology from me for anything right now… they have some choice words coming.
Nah, he was an idiot when I was 14, 21, 28, 35, and 42. He’ll probably be an idiot until he dies. Can’t hold a job, can’t stop drinking, and can’t help but vote red down the line every 4 years. The world will be better when he’s shuffled loose this mortal coil.
Nah man, the older I get the less I trust adults. They let me be one and I’m the biggest fuckup I’ve ever met!
My father was a drunk who liked to beat the shit out of his wife in front of the kids. Now he’s wasting away with Alzheimer’s and I’m waiting for his funeral announcement so I can piss on his grave.
He was a know-nothing failure of a human being when I was a child, and he’s certainly no better today.
…and at 40, I was amazed he didn’t learned anything new in the past 26 years and I was probably right at 14.
Yeah, I was aware that I was a dumbass when I was 14 and my dad knew more than me. By the time I got to 21 I realized he was an idiot. That situation has only worsened as I’ve gotten older.
Yep. My dad believes you can cure a venomous snake bite, ANY species, by giving yourself an electric shock, preferably from a spark plug. Works equally effectively (it doesn’t work, don’t bother) for literally any insect bite. He also believes witches are eating babies in the forest nearby. Needless to say, he doesn’t understand evolution either. He falls for scams left and right, always has.
My father was a deeply flawed parent to minor children, and a disastrously bad one to adult children. My adult life was punctuated with discoveries and realizations and interactions that revealed him to be a fuckin’ mess. He was better and kinder than his own parents, but that’s damning with faint praise.
I’m better and kinder than my parents. Sorry, that’s all I got.
You’re absolutely right, the young only want the old to stop destroying global human society because they haven’t learned to give up and be apathetic to it yet.
Can we make a community for these “young bad, old good” memes? Something like r/BoomersSelfFellaciate ?
Reddit had le wrong generation
My father once yelled at me because he tried to to tell me a story about a friar in the 1600’s who had the power of flight and I assumed it was a joke. It was not a joke.
I guess this is the “shit on your dad” thread. Hopefully I’m a better dad for my kids than my dad was to me.
make sure to not call gay people sinners and you’re probably good
I did the contrary.
My Dad quoted this a few times, until he finally realized how incredibly untrue this can be when he falls for too many online scams.
I don’t think that’s the point.
Dads that quote this are engaging in a form of Dunning-Kruger effect. Often they aren’t self-aware enough to realize that if you have to say you’re so smart, it often means you ain’t that smart.
"it’s mostly piss"
Yeah my dad has definitely regressed…
Yea this rings true, though my father wasn’t helping matters by being an alcoholic with undiagnosed CPTSD when I was 14.
the math checks out; their most ignorant years always coincide with their kid’s teenage years.
Dr_Box@lemmy.world 4 days ago
My dad was a racist homophobe that voted red every election because it was “the Christian thing to do.” He’d constantly preach to us about how the bible said gay people go to hell and he’d always say things like “Now I’m not racist but <insert very racist statement here.>” and then look at us children for approval of his hateful shit and we did because we were raised that way. It wasnt until all 3 of us entered our teenage years and started arguing with him about it pretty much daily and eventually him dating a woman who had a gay brother for him to eventually start changing his mind about that stuff. Now he’s super left leaning and doesnt say hateful shit anymore. Idk if he honestly had a change of heart or if he just noticed the times were changing
arrow74@lemm.ee 3 days ago
My dad did the exact opposite and it has absolutely trashed our relationship.
Dr_Box@lemmy.world 3 days ago
I’m sorry to hear that. It really sucks when stuff like that happens. I have really good friends who have lost their mind these last few years
grrgyle@slrpnk.net 4 days ago
Wow, what a transformation. Shame he needed to be immersed in counterpoints to actually question his perspective.
I feel like so many people are like this. They might not have any actually deeply held convictions, whether hateful or woke, but will just go along with the group. And honestly, maybe that’s the best some people are capable of.