Submitted âšâš5â© âšweeksâ© agoâ© by âšBaku@aussie.zoneâ© to âšmelbourne@aussie.zoneâ©
Todayâs weather forecast (Melbourne CBD, 3000): min - 19°C, max - 27°C. 25% chance of at least 5mm rain
Our two tier health care system is doing my head in right now.
No private, means I could wait up to two years for a small procedure.
Getting private now, means Iâm waiting 12 months before my coverage kicks in.
Going private without insurance could costs me upwards of 10k (which we donât have).
Some days I hate whatâs become of this country.
What does it cost in Thailand?
Around 5k with flights. Definitely considering that option. Iâve also been bombarding MPs and Senators with inquires about our current state of Medicare. Wonât do much, but makes me feel better.
anxious brain was REALLY not wanting to get on the train this morning. The amount of bullshit flooding my brain was insane âIâm gonna puke!â no your not. âIâm gonna pass out!â Good, then we might get some rest. âwe could go back home to bed!â but youâll just lay there play with your phone and you wont feel any better for it. Tried to sort of be curious about it and give it the space it needed to unwind, but by the time I hit the halfway point it disappeared anyway. Classic.
That was me yesterday. Anxiety can get in the bin
I hate that
Me, signing in at work
Brain: impending undefined sense of doom YOUâRE GOING TO DIE
Diet is dieting, many of my clothes donât fit any more, pants are way too big, but I still have some stuff that I am too big for and that doesnât fit again yet
i might do this diet another 6 months and see how i go đ
Good on you! At least youâre eating sensibly, unlike various people I know who are doing this strictly carnivore diet (which, based on their description, sounds to me like a recipe for constipation, high cholesterol and heart failure). Go Seagoon! đȘđŒ
Iâm eating more fruit now too. đ but I still have the occasional bad food, like 2 vegie spring rolls for late lunch.
Proud of you goonsy!
Thank you. đ
Image Geoffrey here (yep thatâs his name) is my auntâs dog whoâs going to be 8 this year. My aunt lived with us for some of his life, so my family developed a close bond with him. When my aunt lived with us, G would get really excited when we came home and sprint to us. Lately, he hasnât been his usual self. We thought it was just old-ish age and he was mellowing out. But today, my aunt found a lump under his armpit, and now the vet are testing it to see if itâs the big C. Hoping itâs nothing.
Hugs đ
đ€
Hoping for the best! Fantastic your aunt found the lump though, many owners donât know how to feel for that sort of thing (not disparaging owners ofc! Thatâs what a vet is there for!) so it sounds like it has been caught early. 8 years is relatively young for a small/medium breed (8 is old for large breeds), so thereâs a real good chance Geoffrey can pull through. đđSending you my love and good positive thoughts! đ He is very loved, it is so apparent!
so many hugs and best wishes
Fingers crossed itâs something easily treatable and Geoffrey will be back to his happy self soon. Heâs a very handsome boy with a lovely name.
Flat clean. Lovely coffee meetup with a friend.
Todayâs off to a good start
My partner has taken the kids camping for a few days, solo parenting. She has ADHD so she decided to take a vyvanse to help her focus for the camp setup. The photos coming through are like the ones you see at camping trade shows⊠Camper canvas is perfectly tight, awning is perfectly set, guy ropes same length and equidistant⊠So funny
I dunno whats better, camping trip the kids or house to yourself!
Itâs a big Bolognese day for me today, lots of sauce to hand pour into jars đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ
Resisting the urge to send so many Please Explain messages. Somebody staple my phone shut?
You want some lead time between dismissal and trebuchet anyway. Gives you plausible deniability
you can guarantee the list of people/suspects who would want to trebuchet her is long
Time to find a new doctor. She refuses to give repeats and now wonât take any calls. My script runs out Friday.
Yay.
This is degusting behaviour, and directly puts your health at risk. I am personally petty enough to make a complaint if it happened to me.
Yeah Iâm done. Tomorrow morning Iâm organising a new doctor. Iâm considering putting in a complaint to be honest.
Without that medicine I canât function.
Iâve accepted this in the past, but not this year. Not when the stakes are so high.
I got the anxiety today fuck. Heart beating like drum, a sinking feeling in my gut as if something awful is coming, my brain wonât shut up.
I think that article yesterday really fucked me up. Putting aside my sentimentality of the books I have, and how I feel about him, I think Iâve just been so very triggered. I have too many memories to pull from, from childhood to late-20s, like my brain canât pick which memory to torture me with so itâs just sending them all to the front. And with it all, is the self-blame; as if I deserved it all. That I wasnât a good enough daughter, or girlfriend, and that I deserved the abuse. Which I know is ridiculous, I would never ever think of someone elseâs trauma, but I beat myself up for my own trauma. Which doesnât help anyone or anything. Why should I continue to perpetuate the abuse against myself? I donât deserve it. But itâs been so hardwired in my neurons that I do deserve it, by my abusers, that undoing those pathways is exhausting. Itâs somehow easier to let myself down, than to pull myself through it. I keep thinking about my mum telling me Iâm just like my father, that Iâm a terrible daughter and friend (which is gross, she was my mum but she treated me like her trauma therapist). My ex telling me that if I wasnât such a terrible person then they wouldnât have to hurt me to teach me. And I can recognise how wild and foul that all is. I can see it, but somehow I havenât been able to internalise that it isnât my fault, I didnât ask for or want any of that. I needed help. And it all comes back to how disconnected I am from dad and that side of the family. How I feel like a failure, a black sheep who canât seem to get it together. My mother preferred my cousin (mumâs brotherâs daughter), because she believed in that woo woo stuff. How dad seemed to have a close father-daughter relationship with his sisters daughter. And Iâm just the only child left to rot. But I also know that no one can save me but myself. I just wish I had a family member I could talk to about this, that would hug me and tell me itâs okay, that Iâm loved and worth it. But Dad said that to my cousin, mum said that to her niece. Who do I belong to? Where is my family? I just want my dad to tell me he loves me. And maybe itâs up to me to open that line of communication to him, but I also want him to reach out to me and ask me to talk to him. I want to feel like a daughter whoâs father loves her. That Iâm not a failure to him. So much of that has to do with mum driving us apart due to her own unresolved trauma, but heâs my dad and I want him to ask me to open up to him. And donât get me wrong, dad has helped me financially since I left my ex, but I donât want that to be the foundation of our relationship. Money can drive a family apart. I want to feel loved. Iâm an only child, and went through it all alone. What do my cousins have that I donât? Why do I feel so left out and left behind? What have I done so wrong?
đđđ
Thatâs a lot to carry. And it can be really hard to give yourself the kind of grace and gentleness you give others.
Maybe a walk would help slow things down?
YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON.
YOU ARE AN INTELLIGENT PERSON.
You ARE A TALENTED PERSON.
YOU ARE NOT WRONG.
that is what you have done wrong
everything they have told you is the opposite of reality
hugs, you are with people who know and love you now. đđđ
Sending you loads of love and kindness. Iâm glad you can recognise what your brain is doing, but brains are bloody hard things to reprogram. I hope you can take some time for yourself and do something kind for yourself that will bring you a little bit of peace and joy. You are very loved by this lovely little corner of the internet!
đ§ž
Hugs. I hope youâre doing alright. Youâll get through this just like you have everything else
So far this new manager is awesome! But letâs see how things play out when i ask for a contract renegotiation.
whole month more like.
Works for me man. The guitars and PS5 arenât going to play themselves lol
Changing jobs is so weird. I was at once place and got to know the people there, and now Iâm just somewhere else. I know itâs not possible but Iâd like to still go to work where I was but do the job Iâm in now.
After the revolution, the few people who have bullshit email jobs can go work at a local coworking space and if you change job you still go to the same place to work, that way you can still be with the people you enjoy being around, and changing job isnât some massive uprooting of your daily life to just sit at a different computer
Errand day tomorrow. If things go right, I may finally have more than 1 knife by tomorrow evening!
Obligatory fuck the government for just deciding that everyone under the age of 18 has no reason to want a knife except murdering people at train stations. Stupid rich arseholes
If you want a prep knife, hi thee to the nearest asian supermarket.
You will get a janky wood handled knife that looks shitty af but will be the best knife youâve ever owned and it will be like $3
If you can, get some sharpening whetstones (cheap ones work fine). Takes a bit of practice to use them, but once you learn, your knives will be the best tool in your kitchen.
What about something like this? Sorry if thatâs a silly question and the differences are obvious
Kiwi knives are a nice enough cheaper brand. Iâve known a lot of pro chefs to use them and maintain the edge with a knife steel.
Damn, I just offloaded a whole lot of cutlery to the oppy yesterday. Although you might be able to get something at your local one, then upgrade to a better product later on
Oh, kind thought springsy, but itâs all good! Iâd still have troubles at the OP shop. Think itâs up to something like a 2k fine for selling me a knife :/
Iâm good on cutlery now, too. Opened up and washed all of my new stuff that I hadnât needed yet. Cutlery drawer is happier now
(Much to everybody hereâs dismay, Iâve been forced to go spoons > forks > knives because the butter knives are too long for the left compartment and only fit in the one on the right
There are ways around not having a knife. But a general purpose chefs knife is the best one to get if you can get one. It does almost everything with one item.
Try and get a knife block too. Maybe a steel. I threw my knives carelessly into a drawer and now theyâre blunt afâŠ
This is the one Iâve been eyeing. Currently got just this little guy
Only kmart for now. One day (again when the budget allows), Iâll get some of those higher end knives. Probably good to start with cheapies while Iâm still getting my head around the whole cooking thing anyways!
Channel 9 are pissing me off on so many fronts. For one, do they realise that just because itâs called the Australian Open doesnât mean that they can only televise Australians? Theyâre showing Tomljanovic on two channels ffs.
And then thereâs the relentless advertising for the horrific-looking Married At First Sight, Iâm ready to sanction torture for anyone involved in the conception and production of that show.
I like tennis but I might just give up and read a book.
If you can stomach using their website, they have all the other matches streaming love through their website.
Nice rain, good for an early night (if I can wrangle it; more melatonin incoming). Had TWO! coffees but still zombie mode all day.
All day in the field tomoz which is good while itâs cool. Might get some blood circulating.
Todayâs challenge is not looking at the phone while going to sleep and maybe continuing this ebook Iâm reading (The Wind Knows My Name) instead.
Super pumped for Severence s2 premiering on Friday. I might binge watch S1 on the weekend first as itâs been so long and there are so many details
sounds delicious đ
Annnnd theres a trespasser at dandenong. Poor pakey/cranbourne cant catch a break. Iâm going to complain to my member of parliament. Hey! Gus! I got something to report to ya!
how fuckin hard is it to put up a fence?!
I just think trains shouldnât stop or slow down. Hose off the cartilage and viscera at night and sheâll be right.
People should not be delayed and inconvenienced because of fuckwits.
I am a strong strong proponent. Either we take this shit seriously, get these people proper help! OR we stop pretending to care and fit the trains with a blender attachment on the front. I was stuck on one for 45 minutes once 10m short of the station. We FINALLY arrive at the station, only to have to wait another 20 minutes cause the person got BACK on the tracks!
the problem is bone bits get between the points
One of the houses I looked at recently was right by the train. Zero fence. One could have a couple of brews go for a smoke and trip over the line. Not ideal.
That sucks man. My line has frequent âpolice actionâ. Yay.
inaction more like
Iâm contemplating getting my hair cut. I do need oneâŠ
whats the hurdle to getting it done? Almost as good as a holiday! love that razor down the back of the neck.
I have interneted the vendorâs problematic conveyancer. First to guess their haircut wins a virtual lollipop.
First day properly back at work, between arriving late last night and 3hr time difference and having had my brain completely switched off, I need about 50 coffees todayâŠ
âĄïž
Simon Townsend has died aged 79
First day back in the office. Boo lol
I donât think I can finish this bottle of QV wash.
Maybe it seems a bit picky but my skin is genuinely raw and irritated even just using it on my body. And the QV moisturiser makes my face burn. What is going on? What did they put in this stuff?
Even when I washed my face with bar soap and just used general purpose lotion my skin never hurt like this.
Accidentally left a plate out with some leftover hawt sauce on it last night. Ants ate it. I had no idea ants like chilli. They were walking around slowly in circles looking a bit confused. So had to internets it: They do eat chilli but it makes them confused because it masks their scent trail lol.
today is a stuck brain kind of day
I think I will go for a bit of a walk
oops
Thank you for posting Baku
Knives purchased â
Had an extra set of hands to help with the unpacking today. Iâve found it too difficult to get started on my own, even though Iâm physically capable of lifting and moving things. But if a mental block
Moved a bookshelf and unpacked 2 boxes of books. Slowly working through the rest of it
Catfish@aussie.zone âš5â© âšweeksâ© ago
Totoro & Mr Lemur wish to send squishies to everybody who needs them today hugs
Seagoon_@aussie.zone âš5â© âšweeksâ© ago
my friends . đ