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Anon's gastric emergency

⁨325⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨MrJameGumb@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨greentext@sh.itjust.works⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/ba562cb0-79b9-4274-be00-c4d7fdeb4fa4.png

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Comments

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  • MossyFeathers@pawb.social ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Anon might need to see a doctor. I don’t think it’s normal to become incontinent the moment you turn 30.

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    • MrJameGumb@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      There were several very angry comments about eating more fiber lol

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      • idiomaddict@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Yeah, I would think about my diet/stress/caffeine level if I even had cramps before a shit, like what are you doing to your body if shitting is regularly a struggle at age 30 without a medical problem? Your life could be so much better if you took care of yourself/sought medical advice. I know not everyone can afford to see a doctor, but it’s cheaper to catch something like bowel cancer early.

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      • mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Yeah, fiber would be 0 help here, and possibly make it worse. Anon needs to see a doctor.

        Personally I find it annoying and frustrating that people will automatically assume poop problems means the person needs more fiber no matter what. It’s not a magic cure-all, and pretending like it is is completely stupid

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    • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Nope. I’m over 30 and it’s like a light switch. 😜

      Jk, no issues whatsoever with my sphincter.

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      • ID411@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Like my old man used to say, look after your sphincter and your sphincter will look after you.

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    • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      30 days after you turn thirty though, that’s probably fine, same if 10 days prior.

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  • MrEff@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    He needs a doctor, and fast. Best case scenario it is ulcerative collitis. Worst case he is getting an MRI of his brain and brainstem to find out it is a central tumor and will only be getting worse.

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    • fibojoly@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Doctor Google concurs : it’s cancer.

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      • tom_was_taken@lemmynsfw.com ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Well, it’s never lupus, so…

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    • Zeppo@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Seems a bit dramatic. Could be as simple as lactose intolerance, or IBS, or something like Celiac disease.

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    • Tyfud@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      It’s likely UC. Symptoms fit.

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      • MrEff@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Yeah, colon/anal cancer will do this as well.

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  • cRazi_man@lemm.ee ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Anon might have ulcerative colitis.

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    • ryannathans@aussie.zone ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Or held their shit so much their nerves are fucked

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  • NuWuX@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Just gotta eat enough cheese to get a solid plug going every day.

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    • WallsToTheBalls@lemmynsfw.com ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      shudders

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  • Pacattack57@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Anon needs to stop using a butt plug

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    • GluWu@lemm.ee ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      He actually just needs to go up a size

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    • TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Anons got a looser ass than liljunex

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    • Zeppo@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Or just leave it in, easy fix.

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    • CptEnder@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Like a flag in breeze

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  • FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Damn it Anon, go see a fucking doctor!

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  • bleistift2@sopuli.xyz ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    You know you can wash clothes, right?

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    • MrJameGumb@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I know that, yes. Apparently Anon doesn’t though. Either that or his “accident” was so bad that no amount of washing will make those underpants usable again.

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      • festnt@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        guy shits acid or something

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  • nifty@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Anon is living in the Middle Ages, 30s now is prime of your life, shit doesn’t get loose like that till you’re 80s+

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    • Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Maybe. Need to not eat like shit, or drink heavily. If you’re genetics are bad, you might need to exercise regularly too.

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  • merc@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    It could just be lactose intolerance.

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    • MrJameGumb@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I guess so, if he’s having a big glass of milk with every meal. Are there adults who do that?

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      • merc@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Lactose is in a lot of different foods, not just in milk. That’s what’s so nasty about lactose intolerance. It’s in the chocolate bar (milk chocolate). It’s in the creamy pasta sauce. It’s in the coffee-based drink. It’s in mashed potatoes. It’s in pizza. It’s in a lot of breads. It’s sometimes in potato chips, crackers or ramen. Burger King used to use it on their french fries. It’s in a lot of sauces like dips, salad dressings, sometimes even mayonnaise. In Switzerland it’s in the sugary fizzy drinks. Some women have even discovered it’s in their birth control!

        Basically, if you didn’t make it yourself, you have to assume it might have lactose in it.

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      • Zeppo@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Let’s see… do adults eat sour cream, yogurt or Alfredo?

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  • curiousaur@reddthat.com ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Colorectal cancer. You have colorectal cancer and are very likely dying. Please see a doctor.

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  • CancerMancer@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Sounds like bro needs more fibre. Liquid shit means you’re eating like a dumbass.

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  • Harvey656@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I’m 31 now, I do not have this problem. I mean I don’t hood it anymore, unless I absolutely have to, but for real anon needs to see a doctor.

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  • RubyRhod@lemm.ee ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Could someone please explain “green text” to me.

    Is it from a specific platform or…?

    I’ve been on the reddit sub for years and it was always entertaining, but I never actually knew wtf.

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    • superkret@feddit.org ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      It’s from 4chan. The text turns green when you put a > in front of the line. It’s used to denote quotes, but also for “greentexting”, which is a certain type of post typically used to tell a meme-worthy (most often fictional) story from your life.

      If you’ve never been to 4chan, do yourself a favor and keep it that way.

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