Jeshus H Christ. Why do they put delicious biscuits in these surprise cans?

Submitted ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨daannii@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/8001d1a9-8e72-41ca-ab6f-49474a95513e.png

I went years not eating these because of the terror and anxiety of having to open one. And one day by chance (dropped it in the sink that had water in it.) I found the secret to not getting the piss scared out of you.

Here it is. These cans are cardboard. Cardboard disintegrates in water.

If you peel back just a little of the paper. And sit it in a bowl, Make sure the side you peeled is facing down. and pour in a little water.

Then quickly leave the room or put it in your fridge or something. And in a minute or two it will pop open. And you will hear it from a safe distance. And you will be okay.

source

Comments

Sort:hotnew top

BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
I faintly remember a news story (I saw it on the Internet so who knows) about one of these popping in a hot car and throwing dough on the driver. The driver reached back to see what happened, felt the dough and thought she’d been shot. She held the dough to her head and called nine one one to get an ambulance.

source
zeejoo@thelemmy.club ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
Huh? If you remove the paper, just karate chop the can and it’ll pop, and it won’t scare you because it’ll be direct feedback from hitting it. You don’t just have to wait for it to go on its own lol

source
- ceenote@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  I honestly had no idea people used any method other than this (except banging it on the edge of the counter)
  
  source
  - ChicoSuave@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    I was taught to push a spoon tip against the crease to open it. I hate opening these because it always pops like a doughy balloon.
    
    source
    -> View More Comments
- imadethis@fedinsfw.app ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  I’ve always loved karate chopping them open, and yeah, giving a big ole “hiiii-yaaa!” basically fixed the jump scare.
  
  source
- kogasa@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  
  if you remove the paper
  
  Usually they pop while peeling them. Even the ones that say to use a spoon after peeling. I did one tube the proper way and felt so confident going into the second tube which immediately exploded. Never trust the tube
  
  source
  - zeejoo@thelemmy.club ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Is your tube cold when you peel it? If it’s warm it’s likely to pop.
    
    source
    -> View More Comments
bss03@infosec.pub ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
I always enjoyed opening them as a kid. The pop was just as satisfying as a jack in the box, plus in a few minutes there’d be hot biscuits.

source
theneverfox@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Why? You just peel it a lil and give it a tiny tap it and it goes “pufffff”. Much satisfy.

I will happy open all of yours for you. I’m also immune to onions, so I will cut them if I get some of what you’re making

source
- daannii@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  So if you peel it too much it will sometimes pop while peeling.
  
  If you don’t peel it enough and wack it on the counter, it won’t pop. So then you try peeling it again.
  
  Sometimes that will make it pop. Sometimes not.
  
  It’s the unpredictability of the damn things.
  
  source
  - theneverfox@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Sounds like you’re doing too much peeling and not enough tapping
    
    There’s a sweet spot like a ketchup bottle. It’s like 1/3 of the way down, you only have to peel it a little bit and tap the right spot onto the corner of the counter
    
    source
    -> View More Comments
  - MrShankles@reddthat.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    I peel a little and then dig my thumb into the seam. I used to use a spoon, but it was too unpredictable. I used to be afraid that it would somehow hurt my thumb, but it just pops with a little poof of air and some noise. It was a hard fear to overcome, but fuck those biscuit cans, I’ll bite them bitches open now! (Not really bite though, that’s too much)
    
    source
    -> View More Comments
- Bebopalouie@lemmy.ca ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  I absolutely love opening them. You never know if it will do a big pop or a little pfft. Nice little surprise.
  
  My wife sometimes buys it and forgets to tell me and about 3-4 hrs later a resounding pop will emit from the shopping bag.
  
  source
CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
The problem I have with those isn’t the pop (though that was startling at first), its that every single one ive tried has entirely the wrong taste and texture for biscuits. Especially the taste, those always seem to taste so sweet at to be almost like cake, when, to me at least, biscuits should not be sweet at all unless jam or honey has been put on them.

source
- daannii@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  Yeah they definitely have added sugar
  
  source
- theneverfox@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  Yeah, it’s carbs on carbs, no nutrients or fiber to be found. They’re really dangerous, I don’t allow myself to cook them because I’d probably eat the whole tube in one sitting
  
  source
- hansolo@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  These were great when I was a kid. Same with the cinnamon rolls. I didn’t know how good real biscuits were.
  
  Got one on a whim a while back and it was beyond disgusting. Tasted like what a machine thinks a picture of a cinnamon roll might taste like.
  
  source
TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
I had to have a bunch of hardware installed in my hand after being involved in a workplace accident involving an explosion caused by compressed air.

I didn’t think it left anything but a physical mark until I opened a biscuit tin a couple months after recovery…Took about a year until opening crescent rolls and biscuit containers didn’t tickle the big PTSD nerve.

source
- hansolo@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  When my mom was a kid, the house next door exploded from a gas leak. Killed everyone inside and her trauma from that made her have to leave the room when I, the assigned can popper, popped one of these open. Same with balloons, anything with a loud, sudden noise.
  
  PTSD is real, yo. That shit lasts a whole lifetime.
  
  source
  - TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Luckily mine was fairly temporary, but for a good year or so I was pretty antsy around any kind of compressed gas.
    
    source
ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
If you absolutely must buy frozen biscuits, buy the bagged Walmart brand and thank me later.

Sincerely,

A southerner who’s eaten my share of biscuits.

source
- daannii@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  I don’t think I knew these existed. Thanks 👍
  
  source
  - ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Great Value brand in the plastic bag, frozen little discs you just pop on a baking sheet. Used to be $5 but probably $6-$7 now for like two dozen and they’re in a totally different league.
    
    source
Emi@ani.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
I have no idea what the thing on the right is. Never saw it around here in europe.

source
- daannii@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  It’s premade dough that cooks into biscuits. But not the cookie sweet kind.
  
  American biscuits which are mostly just butter and flour. They are pretty good fresh. Like muffins but get dry and stale fast. Like muffins.
  
  Part of the prep (if you are making home made,) is rolling the dough out and layering/folding it over and over.
  
  So the biscuits pull apart easily. Like in the direction of hamburger buns. Making it easy to turn them into little breakfast sandwiches.
  
  Where I’m from, in the Midwest, it’s very popular to eat them with sausage gravy. Just the biscuits and gravy. Nothing else.
  
  Used to be cheap. And all 24 hr tuck stop restersunts serve them. So it’s also popular with drunk people at 3 am.
  
  (Truck stop restaurants are usually small dinners attached to gas stations. Usually outside city limits. That are open 24 hrs to serve truckers. But also popular with night people. Sometimes they even have showers. )
  
  source
- theneverfox@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  Imagine bread dough, but it’s more like a slightly pressurized paste in a cardboard tube
  
  I’m pretty sure most Europeans would burn you at the stake for crimes against bread
  
  source
LillyPip@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
I fucking hate these things. Back in the day, you used a spoon and knew when it would pop. Who the fuck decided my biscuits should include a jump scare? Fuck whichever designer made me afraid of biscuits

source
- daannii@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  Yeah I think technically you are still supposed to use the spoon. But sometimes it would pop before you tried the spoon.
  
  I just use water now and run into the other room to hide.
  
  source
  - LillyPip@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    I this was explicitly marketed as a no spoon thing, where you just peel the tab?
    
    source
    -> View More Comments
  - theneverfox@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Wait… Does no one else give them a tppy tap? They’re not scary if you’re the one actively making them pop
    
    source
- hansolo@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  Your “back in the day” was after these had been around for a decade and they started doing the spoon thing to open them. They started out as little grandes.
  
  source
mika_mika@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
If canned dough gives you PTSD, you know you can just make your own?

source
- TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  I know from personal experience that if you have ever been injured by an explosion, these do tend to be a little spicy to open for a while. Didn’t know I even had PTSD from my accident until I was suddenly made aware via biscuit tin months after my recovery.
  
  source
- daannii@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  I don’t like baking. And making anything with flour is a huge mess. Because I’m a messy bitch and that’s what what.
  
  source
Malica@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
I remember once one popped in my car on the way home from the store. I thought I’d been shot at.

source
- bss03@infosec.pub ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  I remember reading a story about someone that called 911 for their car thinking they had been shot and their brain was leaking out. Turned out some biscuits had violently popped, threw one at the back of their head, and when it hit they instinctively grabbed for it, and were holding the biscuit against their head, convinced it was their brain matter.
  
  It was purported as true at the time, but I have a lot of doubts – probably just one of the many urban legends that got passed around last century.
  
  source
  - Malica@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    I’ve heard this one too I think
    
    source
RedEyeFlightControl@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
I love grabbing the ripcord like a safety pin and letting it go off like an adorable little gernard.

source
aeronmelon@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
Wow, I had that EXACT jack in the box growing up.

source
- daannii@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  You know what. I remember this one too. The box was tin right ?
  
  Idk if it was mine or a cousin but I do remember playing with one. And trying to figure out how to predict the pop out based on song or tension of the arm but I don’t think I ever figured it out.
  
  Sorcery.
  
  source
lenocolomo@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
That’s why we Germans call them “Knack & Back”. (Pop and bake could be the English equivalent)

source
Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
As long as you do it down the middle of the cardboard and not at the ends so the metal cap can fly off and smack you, there’s nothing to fear.

source
- daannii@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  I don’t possess your bravery.
  
  source
DarkCloud@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
Why wouldn’t they make a product with a built in way of forcing you to use it?

source
mrmisses@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
I bet if they solved the opening problem they would sell a lot more. Whoever becomes a billionaire from reading this, please drop me like 50,000 please

source
- ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  My problem was always that I don’t need eight fucking croissant rolls at one time. And those things are inedible except when they’re fresh out of the oven. One of the grocery stores near me briefly sold half-sized tubes of them which was great, but the price was higher than the regular size.
  
  source
- daannii@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  I know a lot of people that don’t buy them for this reason.
  
  There has to be a better way.
  
  source