He's an arborist

Comments

• kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  The correct way is to see how deep into a Pringle it can go. For an accurate measure, you’ll need to prevent angled entry. You can help it slide in straight by using a couple guiding sponges on either side of a latex glove attached to the rim pushed up inside it. Put a bit of Vaseline in the glove to prevent tearing the glove with the rough bark. For maximum safety, put the jar of Vaseline in a warm water bath for a few minutes beforehand to make the viscosity better for smooth entry and exit.

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  • jballs@sh.itjust.works ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    That sounds like an awful lot of effort just to jack off a tree branch

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    • kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      gasp! clutches pearls

      How dare you imply such vulgarity about my branch measuring device.

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• krisevol@lemmus.org ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  None of them are. You need a graduated cylinder.

  282 cm3 here.

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• titanicx@lemmy.zip ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  What is your tree normally goes straight out with a cut l downward curve? The measurements are the same either way…

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• hperrin@lemmy.ca ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  You measure from the back of the balls.

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  • fonix232@fedia.io ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    From the edge of the anus of course... the further edge.

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    • hperrin@lemmy.ca ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Or… from the base of the skull. The only accurate measurement.

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• Krauerking@lemy.lol ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Woah wait… Can we solve the measuring crisis but just measuring from the trunk at the top and all the way across then wrapping around the exposed end and back down the length on the bottom to the next obstruction?

  Wouldnt that then include the width in your overall measurement and everyone would be generally impressed at any dimension?

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• white_nrdy@programming.dev ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  youtu.be/QlafXouh_rg

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  • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    4.1 inches is 10.4cm

    7 inches is 17.8cm

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• FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  It’s method b both for tree branches and for appendages of different creatures

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• kersploosh@sh.itjust.works ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Nevermind the measurement. How are you going to use the branch?

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• affenlehrer@feddit.org ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Bend it straight, then measure

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• VaalaVasaVarde@sopuli.xyz ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  They are using the wrong measuring unit, instead they should measure the force needed to pull it level.

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  • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    You’re saying rigidity/turgidity trump sheer length and girth?

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    • VaalaVasaVarde@sopuli.xyz ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Most arborists prefer branches that can handle the load, and avoid sagging branches or ones that snap off.

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• Twinklebreeze@lemmy.world ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Diameter obviously. But also, the bottom line is going into trunk wood so obviously wrong.

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• ikidd@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I had just gotten out of the pool!

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  • xspurnx@leminal.space ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    There was shrinkage!

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