If you're sexually frustrated & can never find a mate & decide to live a life of "nofap," what are the effects that buildup of sexual frustration has?

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Submitted ⁨⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

And does the SF ever go away?

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cheese_greater@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Sounds like a categorically terrible idea. Is there any ackshuall proof having 1 orgasm per day (regardless of the outlet or method) is harmful in any measurable/quantifiable way besides reducing desperation for sex?

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- Chippys_mittens@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  Actually helps prevent prostate cancer in men
  
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  - cheese_greater@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    I sincerely dont and cant understand no-fap outside of an addiction 12-steps/abstinence style vantage point.
    
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  - JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Well I’m a woman and I’ve talked to some men too who agree that when we masturbate it tends to make us turn socially inward & diminishes our drive to reach out to other people.
    
    Whereas sexual frustration compels us to go out into the world with a sense of hunger & ambition, seeking social interaction & activities.
    
    It’s the lifestyle I’ve chosen because after years of suffering all aspects of this mortal hell we call life, I’d rather feel paragraph 2 than paragraph 1.
    
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- P00ptart@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  I just saw several posts the last 2 days of a study that showed that if you don’t cum enough, your sperm becomes a bunch of dumb dumbs. Yes, I used scientific lingo for that, I’m sorry.
  
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Mangoholic@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
You ll just be alot more horny and you will have more sexual daydreams. The rest normalizes, but keep in mind sex is healthy for the body in general.

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fuwa@fedinsfw.app ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Personally, I think “NoFap” is bro-science with little basis in anything even remotely factual.

As someone who was single (and a virgin, to apply a social construct) well into my 30s, I can totally relate to the emotional burden that loneliness, sexual frustration, social isolation, and all of the self-negative thoughts that come from feeling broken and unlovable. I get it, I really do!

To say that “it sucks” is an understatement, and I truly understand how feeling those kinds of feelings can make some “incel” guys lash out and be angry at themselves, women, or society at large. That’s not an attempt to excuse bad behavior, of course, but only to say that I understand the emotional context that too often breeds it.

I genuinely believe that loneliness really is an epidemic, for men and women alike, in both friendship and romance, and when you combine that with a modern political climate that seeks profit and power from fostering culture wars and driving wedges between regular people, it’s not hard to understand how we have become conditioned to hate ourselves and each other.

Undoubtedly, there is a serious problem with modern culture and proprietary app-driven socialization.

But here’s the key point: I really don’t think depriving yourself of sexual pleasure is going to make you less lonely, less isolated, less self-negative, or even more motivated to meet others.

Self-control can be a virtue, sure. There is certainly value in being able to resist instant gratification and controlling one’s urges…

But choosing to live a “life of NoFap” isn’t going to do anything to address the core reasons why you feel lonely or isolated in the first place. All you are really doing, in my view, is kicking yourself while you’re down–punishing yourself for being lonely, when you should instead be practicing self-care.

Companionship, romance, and sex are different things, crucially. Ideally we would have them all, but you can have one without the others. So, with that in mind, why on Earth should a person deprive themselves of sexual pleasure just because they are lacking in romance or companionship?

The unspoken and unappreciated truth is that you don’t, and shouldn’t, need to be in a relationship to have a satisfying “sex life”. And likewise, people who aren’t in a relationship shouldn’t feel the need to deprive themselves of sexual pleasure due to some false idea that somehow being sexually frustrated will make you more motivated, attractive and likable.

If you really want to build relationships and have sex, start touching grass, getting to know people, and going out on dates. Shower, shave, wear clean clothes and deodorant, brush up on current events and take up some hobbies. Don’t just look for “girlfriends”, make friends and grow your social circle in general. If you have to ignore the superficial bullshit dating apps and meet people in other ways, then good, more power to you. But that’s really all it takes.

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Iconoclast@feddit.uk ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Using the term “NoFap” in the title is a bit like putting “AI” in there - it pretty much guarantees zero productive conversation in the comments and instead acts as a bug light for certain people to just chime in with their personal views on that one thing.

I don’t even bother writing a response to the actual question because I don’t want to spend the rest of the day defending views I don’t even hold.

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Chippys_mittens@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
I’d imagine this is how you turn yourself into a mass killer.

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- MelastSB@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  Qu’est-ce que c’est ?
  
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  - Chippys_mittens@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Sorry I haven’t taken Latin since high school
    
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  - etherphon@piefed.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa
    
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  - MrSelfDestruct25@fedinsfw.app ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Fa fa fa fa
    
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MantisToboggon@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Your balls will explode!

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- JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  I’m a woman.
  
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  - geomela@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    In that case, your balls probably won’t explode then.
    
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  - Ghostie@lemmy.zip ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    You’ll grow balls and then they’ll explode!
    
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  - MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    That’s fatal.
    
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  - MrSelfDestruct25@fedinsfw.app ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Chesticles will explode
    
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zxqwas@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Maybe when you turn 50.

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HubertManne@piefed.social ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
I don’t understand the idea of not fapping.

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Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Balls = Blue

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- JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  I’m amused by all the people here who don’t realize I’m a woman. I even made a new account in a new instance with a new username that is undeniably female. I thought surely people would finally stop calling me “dude” and “bro” and talking about my non-existent balls 🤣
  
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  - Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago
    I don’t think we have a term specifically for women that would equal “blue balls…” 🤔 We should, tho.
    
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sneakypersimmon@lemmy.today ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
I’m a woman to start.

There’s two modes I’ve found myself in when not masturbating - I’m either purposefully staying aroused and denying an orgasm to heighten sexual tension and pleasure OR I’m not masturbating because life is busy for whatever reason and my libido diminishes over time.

So it depends. And I think everyone is a little different as well, so you might want to play with not masturbating to reduce sexual frustration to see if it works for you.

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- JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  
  purposefully staying aroused and denying an orgasm to heighten sexual tension and pleasure
  
  Honestly I think I’m in this camp! I have a strong feeling the best is yet to come and it’s not too far in the future, I look stunning in a bikini and I just bought three sparkly new ones and I live at the beach and so many beautiful people around here ✨
  
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mimic_kry@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
I’m in it, last relationship was 17 years or so ago

I mean it ain’t all bad. So long as you don’t mind the actual loneliness, the physical touch gets easy to forget.

But I dunno if I’d recommend this to anyone tbh

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Drbreen@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
I can only guess anger, depression and extreme irritability. Especially in such a asexually culture.

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RotatingParts@lemmy.ml ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
I am guessing the “nofap” idea comes from religion. Amazing how a god is so obsessed with sex. Makes one wonder if it is just men trying to control a natural drive in order to control others.

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- Flying_Penguin@lemmy.zip ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  While the reason for someone to follow “nofap” varies from person to person. It does not come from religion. It is mainly a movement to help fight porn addiction.
  
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lowspeedchase@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Don’t be a pussy, man up and castrate yourself.

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- JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  I’m a woman.
  
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  - yuriRO@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    There is an extensive catalog of toys for you to make you feel things no man will ever do
    
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  - qualia@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    This response reminds me of my favorite comedy podcast: SuperEgo.
    
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  - P00ptart@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    After reading through the whole post, I doubt that.
    
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ageedizzle@piefed.ca ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
You’re asking a bunch of chronically online lemmy nerds what they think of masturbation. So if you’re looking for an impartial response then you’ve come to the wrong place.

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- JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  🤣 You’re not wrong.
  
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qualia@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Benefits: You can take all the meds with sexual side effects (e.g. most anti-depressants) which is actually a significant reason people ultimately stop taking them, and folks with testicles retain all their spermidine which low n RCTs have shown early evidence for autophagy-based longevity.

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