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Little Surprise đŸŽ„

⁚678⁩ ⁚likes⁩

Submitted ⁚⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁚diffaldo@lemmy.dbzer0.com⁩ to ⁚memes@sopuli.xyz⁩

https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/pictrs/image/3d24b2dd-d7f2-4106-b34d-584ea08d6beb.webp

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Comments

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  • TheTechnician27@lemmy.world ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

    You get paid $5000 per day for the rest of your life (matching inflation), but the American Kitchen Nightmares editors get to omnisciently and in real time control the sound effects in your life. Only you hear them, but you can never tune them out. Do you accept?

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    • chuckleslord@lemmy.world ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

      I guess I’ll just cry through the sound effects with the $1.8 million dollars a year I’ll have.

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      • TheTechnician27@lemmy.world ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

        waterphone intensifies as you dab your tears with $100 bills

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      • Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

        Only about $1.2 million after taxes though.

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    • LiveLM@lemmy.zip ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

      That’s gonna be weird during sex

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      • TheTechnician27@lemmy.world ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

        You’ll just have to turn up the volume on Cbat.

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      • Derpenheim@lemmy.zip ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

        You pull it out, ready to go. She pulls out hers, and its bigger. kitchen nightmares sus sound effect plays

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      • cows_are_underrated@feddit.org ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

        Do it like me and just dont find a partner. Problem solved.

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      • Stamau123@lemmy.world ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

        violin sting

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    • scytale@piefed.zip ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

      I don’t watch the show. What kind of sounds/music are we dealing with here?

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      • TheTechnician27@lemmy.world ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

        Here’s an exaggerated tasting platter for you. I’ll add that it’s not that exaggerated (except for the boom at 1:36; I never heard that in the show).

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    • WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

      Absolutely.

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    • diffaldo@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

      If I can block the sounds by wearing headphones I would take it in a heartbeat but even if I cant block them, well, I would still do it because I have tinnitus đŸ€·

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      • TheTechnician27@lemmy.world ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

        It’s a purely psychological thing inside your brain; it will cut through the tinnitus. You can’t loophole your way around it; you have to hear the sounds at the same noticeable volume a person with normal hearing would.

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    • ayyy@sh.itjust.works ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

      Yes I want a home in California big enough for a family. I don’t see any other way of accomplishing that.

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    • Feathercrown@lemmy.world ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

      waterphone noise

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    • kuberoot@discuss.tchncs.de ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

      How about I reach out to the editors and offer them 80% of that money to not play any sound effects? Though the interpretation of the editors in question being humans implies they will still know everything about my life in realtime, and I’m not sure I’d take that kind of sacrifice

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  • balderdash9@lemmy.zip ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

    Time to go clean the deep fridge

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    • diffaldo@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

      Need an extra hand?

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      • iltoroargento@lemmy.sdf.org ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

        Nah, there’s one on there already. Thanks, though!

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  • Stamau123@lemmy.world ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

    Happened to my girlfriend. She was back to working in a doughnut shop after it was closed for cleaning a few days, when a reporter burst in the back with a camera crew. She said the shop had the lowest health score in Colorado Springs and how she felt being open again. All she could think was ‘I just fucking work here.’

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    • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

      Why was there a camera crew there? Were the donuts exceptionally amazingly newsworthy in spite of the dismal health rating?

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      • Etterra@discuss.online ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

        Because having a shitty health rating is something people want and deserve to know about.

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  • Doug@piefed.social ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

    His brother did worse things than pot, he’d be fine with it.

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    • Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

      Dude’s worked in the restaurant industry all his life, he probably wouldn’t hire a sober dishwasher.

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    • Akasazh@lemmy.world ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

      He can’t fire his brother though

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  • Hadriscus@jlai.lu ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

    I remember in high school one day, about noon, I shared a fat spliff with friends. I had to meet with the principal professor and my parents at 13 to discuss my behaviour. They were not convinced

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  • Feathercrown@lemmy.world ⁚2⁩ ⁚weeks⁩ ago

    “So you know it’s wrong but you do it anyways?” - Gordon

    “Hehheh, life.” - Some random kitchen worker

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