Submitted 3 weeks ago by DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works to [deleted]
The way memory works, your brain constructs the memory based on stuff from the last time you thought about it, mixed with other random shit.
You're never remembering "the" event. You're retelling yourself a story like a game of telephone. The past is gone.
I don’t feel like this is entirely true. I have some memories that play out more like shorts, that have always been very clear and never change in detail. They’re just engraved there, some of them can be easily corroborated among multiple people and/or video footage
Various studies have shown this to be true. When you access memories, they become malleable. The brain makes various minor updates and repairs. It fixes holes, where bits have been forgotten, and pulls in new data, that wasn’t known at the time.
The core of the memory is often intact, it’s generally self referencing, and fairly stable. It’s the small details around it that can shift.
I don’t and I’m 30. Almost anything before the age of 7 and quite little between 7 and 14.
But AFAIK most people do remember quite some stuff from their childhood for the rest of their life. And forget some of course. I guess it varies.
I remember age 8 to 12 a lot, but I barely remember before age 8… but I had a traumatic event in the city I lived in from birth to 8 years old so maybe those memories got repressed idk. Age 12 - 17 was so uneventful I kinda not have much. I’m in my early 20s btw
I have this recurring paranoia that I’ll eventually forget everything, and that thought just troubles me a lot. I hope I finish my memoir before I forget it lol.
CW existential dread
It’s a very hard thing to accept. The grief of your own death.
All of this: the people you love, you hate, friends, partners, families, is temporary. Even the memories. Even the journal you wrote, the picture you took fades away. Nothing can beat the heat death of the universe.
The only thing meaningful and beautiful is the positive experience you and you can bring to other people. At some moments of spacetime, someone is happy because of you.
It’s hard. Because the death takes our lifetime. That’s why we cherish it, we express how we feel. And also, it’s hard to just say goodbye even though we know it’s inevitable. But we have to learn to let it go.
I remember bits and pieces from my childhood. I think most of the memories are there, it just requires something to trigger the memory to load. Like a name or a place etc.
Like I still remember my teachers names and how friendly or strict they used to be. And I also remember some friends and drama. And Video games are also a big core memory for me haha.
In general, I think we all have memory of our childhood… We just need help to trigger our brains to remember. And if we can’t find the trigger, we end up forgetting. Like installing a program on your PC but then deleting the shortcut to it.
I’m almost 50 and I remember a lot of my childhood. I remember riding in a car with my mother down the main street in town and not being able to read signs. So like 1983-84. I remember a bunch of other things from that far back. Sights, sounds, feelings. More the later you go. A lot of the late 80s and beyond.
I spent a lot of time with my grandfather in his final days, and he was hitting me with stories from when he was like 4-on. A lot of good memories and a lot of bad memories.
I’m 31 and remember a ton from my childhood. Which makes sense bc I have to remind myself that I’m a grown man and not a kid in social situations all the time. (like when I have to go to my child’s school and my brain flips where I’m overly respectful to the teachers and almost raise my hand to speak to them)
My wife had a rough childhood and can barely remember anything from those years due to mental blocks I guess.
Tldr idk it depends I guess
You can still be overly respectful to the teachers – I’m sure they appreciate it!
(Especially when there are parents who seem to treat the teachers as retail workers…)
True. I guess I mean my brain goes back into student mode and I tense up talking to them.
Going to parents evening was wild, suddenly I’m bigger/older than most of the teachers.
Keep your memories by recalling them frequently. Every time you remember something, you make a new copy in your brain. Recalling memories is like making a backup. I’m 45 and I still remember things from as early as 3. I remember the feeling of the orange shag carpet in the house I grew up on my toes. I remember going down a waterslide on my uncle’s lap and my cousin teaching me how to ride a bike. I remember the feeling of bass in my stomach when the marching band practiced across the street. Keep recalling your memories.
Hmm, what’s this “‘That Event’ At 6 Year Old” memory? Lemme open this file…
a few moment later…
aaahhh fuck close it FUCK FUCK FUCK 😭
(abusive older brother fighting me and I was defenseless af)
I can hardly remember anything before 16. Not sure if thats normal. I remember certain things if theyre triggered by a photo or a song etc but I cant remember what I was doing on x year.
I’ve lost a lot of my memories, but can remember the general vibe. There are a handful of crystal clear memories though.
My 90yo grandmother tells me stories of her childhood all the time. Her earliest memories are of when she was around 2-3yo, and she absolutely hasn’t lost her sense of self at all. She’s sharp as a tack, honestly. I think it just really depends on the person
My dad almost died recently (he got better). The experience lead to several vivid memories from my childhood resurfacing. Memories I forgot I forgot. I would have remembered them if I had a reason to I think, but I had no reason to and so I didn’t until then.
It also made me realise that while previously I thought of my life as a continuous experience, I now feel like there’s a gap in there somewhere. The child me and the present me are separated my more than just time filled with stuff. And there may be more gaps, breaking my life into even smaller pieces now that I think about it.
It’s all still in threre, I don’t think I’ve really forgotten anything, but I don’t have a reason to remember a lot of stuff from the past so I just don’t.
I’m 39…there are some things that I remember vividly, some cloudy and most I just don’t know
it seems like they mostly remember the ‘vibe’ along with some hazy memories. kinda unrelated to OP but my grandparents started showing me AI generated pics/vids claming it’s “just like his childhood”…
AI generated pics/vids
Ngl this AI stuff is why I’m kinda sus of writing a journal/diary digitally…
feels like someone can easily manipulate it to implant a false memory when I go back to read it
as long as you keep it safe i still think it’s better than not having one though. it’s much easier to manipulate memory when there’s nothing to compare/verify against. tho, the journal being leaked or modified is a big issue, maybe a git repo inside some encrypted drive would do…
I may or may not be Old, depending on your definition, but I’m 43 and I remember my childhood very well.
I asked my mom (75) about something a while back related to the late 50’s and while her memory is getting a bit “senior”, she had no problem answering my question.
Like usual with us humans and our fickle minds, YMMV.
There are many factors that can impact this, though I would clarify - you aren’t losing memories, they’re there, just harder to access. You aren’t losing your sense of self, it’s evolving - who you are as a person is constantly changing.
For me personally, as someone with aphantasia I’ve never really been in touch with my memories in the first place. I’ve been very much a “in the moment” person - despite that my past experiences do define me, even if I don’t know why.
How old?
I don’t feel like I’ve forgotten more and more. It’s more like I have only ever had a few memories from being a little kid.
Sense of self gets deeper, not lost. All those years of experience add up to more self, not less. I was, though, for sure more self-centered when young, less aware of others, more selfish.
You can lose your older memories without losing your sense of self. That’s based more on recent experiences than early childhood anyway.
Yes, yes and yes…
I don’t really but have always been bad at that. My wife on the other hand has countless memories I think from as early as 3-4. I mostly forget everything before grade 5 or 6.
For me I have only some memories from before I got my fist smartphone. From that my brain can recall much more when I look at old pics that from before that age.
I think kids born after say 2005 will have so many photos that they will remember much more than any of the previous generations.
Lol, idk why but I never really knew where to put all my photos and kinda never stored them or deleted them when out of storage, like… it kinda felt like a chore to store them… so I just treated it like a random school notebook… i.e. to be thrown away…
Maybe I’m just afraid of the past and constantly wanna run away from it? Idk. LOTs of trauma both at home and in school. So maybe that…
Now I kinda regretted never storing those photos…
Everyone loses a lot of memories. The brain only stores what’s important. You’ll keep your most defining memories until Alzheimers starts destroying your brain.
This is a good question and I’ll be interested to see what others have to say. One thing I’ve noticed is that memories can transform into ‘memories of memories’. What I remember is not the felt impression of something but what I subsequently told or showed myself about it. And it doesn’t even just apply to childhood - I have same thing for big events in my life from last couple of years.
I do find that it’s possible to consciously dig deeper and unearth forgotten memories though.
I’ll also add that I think what constitutes a sense of ‘self’ is more than just memory.
I have an earliest memory that I wonder if it's just my memory of me recounting it at this point. And another memory of being attacked by a dog that I believe was a dream that got mixed up with reality because the neighbor's dog scared me. 'Memories of memories' seems accurate the further back I try to remember.
There's a video I watched that demonstrated VHS quality degrading by generation. And that to me was the accurate depiction of how human memory can work like. Every waking hour, we are making new memories and those new memories have a chance of overwriting the old ones as we grow older. New experiences, new people, new places, even going different routes than your usual all can have that impact.
Some people's memories are better than others. In my case, I can't really recall a lot from my earlier childhood, it is all just bits and pieces. My teenage years is about as far back as my memory goes, my young adulthood is more remembered and the last 5 years are like yesterday to me at times.
You pack a lot of memories in there. Your mind will compartmentalize them. The packing of time into memories is a strange sensation but I don’t think I’ve lost my sense of self. The memories are less vivid and feel further away as time passes. Your memories together with your thoughts form your sense of self, that’s hopefully not something you lose.
Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I’m an old fucker and can remember my earliest memories still. You have to do it though, because memories become less clear over time if unused. Unfortunately, we spend less time recalling memories because of our current over-stimulation in this entertainment rich world. Most of us do not let ourselves be bored (almost ever) now.
Tonight I played a game I hadn’t played since the early 90’s and just the graphics and sounds really brought back nostalgic feelings.
bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Jokes on you, I surround myself with nostalgia all the time for this very purpose ha! I still dont really remember my childhood clearly but I recall how those old video games made me feel.