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Sensitive ContentYou just couldn't be satisfied with slow and easy

⁨247⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Mickey7@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/09902358-df24-4c63-b73a-acf134c3ab9e.png

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Comments

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  • expatriado@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    time to place a poster and start watching drywall repair diy videos

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    • spicytuna62@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I’ve got just the poster. Nobody will ever suspect there’s a hole back there.

      Image

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    • bravesilvernest@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Looks more like plaster, so you’ll have a bit more time to watch how to patch 🫠

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    • roguetrick@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      That’s lathe and plaster baby. Get good at finishing work if you ever want it to look right.

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    • stupidcasey@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Image

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    • khepri@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Good luck, that shit is lathe-and-plaster not drywall haha

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  • umbrella@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    why do usians make their walls out of styrofoam?

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    • khepri@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      This is a lathe-and-plaster wall from before the invention of drywall, it’s actually strong af

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    • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Why do Japanese make theirs out of paper?

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      • umbrella@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        my country is poor and we make houses out of brick, because a dildo won’t break it.

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      • gmtom@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Modern Japanese houses aren’t made of paper

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    • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Because we are very cheap and superficial.

      I… I’m not even joking, that’s why, its true in a pithy and literal sense, if you look into the economics / industry standards of why this happens.

      So, sooo many houses that got built in like the last five years, that every idiot bought thinking home prices would go up forever?

      They’re rush jobs, hack jobs, absolutely literally full of holes and problems, start falling apart… well it used to be ‘the moment you walk in’, but now nobody is even walking in to them, and some are literally falling apart before they are bought.

      Absolutely hilarious that a decade or so ago, every American I knew was laughing at Chinese ‘Tofu Dregs’.

      Building inspectors, the whole system, its massively, widly corrupt, you can find a few honest building inspectors on tiktok or youtube who just document how poorly built so many of these new homes are, when they’re called in to double check some other corrupt building inspector’s work.

      Its a massive problem, yet another entire element of the US society / economy where massive corruption and fraud is so normalized that I won’t be surprised if some other USAsian shows up here to tell me how its fine, its not that bad.

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  • Passerby6497@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Text post that mentions being fucked in the ass? Gotta mark that as NSFW

    Photo of dildo balls? No need for that NSFW tag my man

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    • HowAbt2day@futurology.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Wait, thats a dildo? I thought it was the the arm of the hulk hogan runner wrestling doll.

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      • Passerby6497@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Oh shit, I totally forgot about the Hulk Hogan Super Action Suction Grip doll, my bad

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  • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You might be able to tell them you were stupidly jumping on your bed, like a child, and fell into the wall.

    Depending on what your parents think of you, this may actually work.

    This working also depends on whether or not your parents can tell the difference between an ‘exit wound’ and an ‘entry’ wound on wall damage, so maybe doctor the scene a little, or, maybe your parents are morons / know nothing about residential construction.

    (Probably hide the dildo).

    One thing you could try is to just actually jump on the bed, fall into the existing hole, re-damaging it more in line with, you know, impact damage…

    Do that while they’re home, so they hear it, and then just be completely honest and explain your mistake, while also being somewhat injured.

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    • Obi@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I like the cut of your jib, thinking creatively and logically, providing some solid solutions that might actually work.

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      • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Perks of growing up with control freak narcissist parents: You learn how to lie well, when necessary.

        Downside: CPTSD, fundamental inability to really trust anyone, ever.

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  • fonix232@fedia.io ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    dem lips do be indeed grippy

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    • T00l_shed@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Might not be lips lol

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      • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        the muscle tissue that makes your lips work are the same kind that makes your sphincter work.

        so you could say that when you fart you’re talking out your ass, or when you shit you’re talking shit.

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  • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Shawshank it, and put a poster over it. She’ll find it when you make your escape after college.

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  • Sonor@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Breaking the fourth wall

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  • MrNesser@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    That’s one hell of a grip and I don’t mean her hands

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    • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      … How do you know they’re a her?

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  • Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Your orifice is of superior strength. What do you have to fear from a mere mortal?

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  • DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    That’s where you hang your favorite poster until you move out.

    Either that, or tell her the truth, she’ll understand.

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    • Gonzako@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      You’d also make sure to start digging a tunnel through that so you can finally move out.

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  • Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Tell her you fucked up…err…sideways

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  • Leather@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Just say “Mom, as the prophecy foretold… It has happened!”

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  • HulkSmashBurgers@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Ever seen The Shawshank Redemption?

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  • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Mom, the wall tried to RAPE me!

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