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Do I have incredibly weak thumbs, or does this instruction exist on boxes just to mess with us?

⁨480⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨AcornCarnage@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/e9f0541b-9a6a-404e-ade7-62fcf5686cd6.jpeg

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Comments

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  • NarrativeNavigator@lemmy.basedcount.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    The Kraft Method

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    • MxM111@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      The post does not say that you will be able to penetrate with the index finger. It just recommends to place the finger that way.

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      • robdor@lemmynsfw.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        If you want to be able to penetrate with an index finger, I’m off work in about 2 hours. Wait…what?

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      • theodewere@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        while you kiss your ass goodbye, and the box of noodles and cheesy flavoring defeats you yet again

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      • NarrativeNavigator@lemmy.basedcount.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I feel the secret might be how the thumb and middle finger squeeze the sides of the box.

        I’ll try it out someday, but I probably won’t report back. (Don’t want to get your hopes up).

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    • SouthernCanadian@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Look at the girth of that dude’s index finger. No wonder it works for him.

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      • NarrativeNavigator@lemmy.basedcount.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Hahaha

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    • Angry_Maple@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I used to just cut the top off of the box using a kitchen knife. I would start just below one of the corners, with the box on it’s side, and I sawed through it.

      I got some funny looks for that one.

      You know that the serrated lines aren’t great when cutting the cardboard with a kitchen knife is legitimately easier. The blade wasn’t serrated, either.

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    • AcornCarnage@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I always go thumb from the top, so pretty much same position as photo 2. Still not happening.

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    • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      See… what you’re supposed to do… is… hold it between you’re two hands. Kinda lie you’re praying. jab your two thumbs into the tab, then pull outward and just rip the box in half. Alternatively, if you’re the Hulk or something, you can just grab either end and rip it in half that way.

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  • over_clox@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I just boil and eat the entire box like any normal person.

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    • IDontHavePantsOn@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I pay for the box. I eat the box.

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    • delvan@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Most of the nutrients are in the rind, I’m aghast to learn that most people just throw the box away!

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    • MonkderZweite@feddit.ch ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      If it tastes like it looks on the package, a viable option. Has probably more nutritional value, too.

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    • cheery_coffee@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      How do you tell when it’s done?

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      • over_clox@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        When you can’t read the box anymore, obviously…

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  • jennwiththesea@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    The one that kills me is when the glue they use to close the box is stronger than the box itself, so you wind up just ripping it open.

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  • SteveDinn@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I think you all just have weak thumbs. I’ve always opened them just as the package says to. Never had a problem.

    As a kid, I would have thumb wrestling matches with my older brother, and sometimes, on weekends, I’d hitchhike. I used my thumbs a lot. I’ve had to replace 4 space bars on my keyboard.

    Never skip thumb day.

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    • regular_human@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Me and the boys on thumb day

      Image

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      • TitanLaGrange@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there’s thumbthing weird about that image.

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      • ProvokedGamer@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Where is that from? It seems oddly familiar.

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    • Pappabosley@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Do you even lift to open bro?

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  • AcornCarnage@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I swear to God, in all my life I feel like it’s only worked fewer than 5 times.

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    • Terevos@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I think I’ve only got it twice. Maybe I should try harder

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  • Curious_Canid@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    You’re not extending your chi through your finger when you push. The instructions take that for granted, but they really should be more specific.

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    • Terevos@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I tried extending my chi, but it just made my jar of salsa fall on the floor and shatter.

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      • Chriszz@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        You didn’t expand your ki so you didn’t notice the chili fall. Idiot.

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      • ericisshort@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I think you’re confusing your chi with your penis.

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  • vlad76@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    It’s possible, but it’s a very high Dex roll.

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  • CaptainFortissimo@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I actually just recently, after years of frustration, figured out a technique that works. You squeeze the box near the opening so that it bulges out. Then you can poke it with your finger and rip the top open. Feels like gutting a fish, which I assume now is what they were going for.

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    • Jamie@jamie.moe ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I usually just knuckle-punch them in.

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  • magnetosphere@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    It’s not you. The only person that consistently works for is Freddy Krueger.

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    • shanjezi@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Edward Scissorhands

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  • Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Companies do a really bad job at product testing when it comes to opening stuff. The best ones are where you damage the product because it’s so hard to open. It’s like they never thought to actually try using the stupid little pull tab they give us to actually open their own product.

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    • cubedsteaks@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      there is nothing more infuriating than buying a jar of salsa from the store, and then trying to open it only to have the jar fly out of your hands and break into tiny pieces that you now have to clean up along with salsa all over your floor.

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      • Anamnesis@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Why is everyone in this thread absolutely mangling jars of salsa

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      • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        If it’s a jar with a metal twist-to-open lid, you can get a butter knife or similar, and dent the edge of the lid with the back of the knife- doesn’t take a lot of force, but it makes opening the jar way easier.

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  • Poot@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    It’s not just you.

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  • Naja_Kaouthia@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I ignore these instructions entirely and just open the flappy bits. I am an agent of chaos.

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    • DontTreadOnBigfoot@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      How?!

      The glue is usually stronger than the box. I usually just resort to ripping off the top quarter of the box.

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  • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I just rip open the top of the box instead.

    That’s right, I’m a rebel.

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  • Dick_Justice@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    You know, I was just thinking earlier this week that of all the technologies we have, it’s weird how much we struggle with perforation.

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  • Nemo@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    It’s not that your thumbs aren’t strong enough, it’s that they aren’t sharp enough.

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  • dmention7@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Good God, the number of products where someone spent the time and effort to design in “systems” for opening/using the package, which are utterly ineffectual is mind boggling.

    Did a flimsy cardboard box ever need some special tear tab to begin with?? Hell no, just glue the flap shut and we will open it like every other food box on the planet.

    Shit that is infuriating.

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  • ryven@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    You’re supposed to use your thumb to lift that flap, as instructed, not try to punch a hole in it.

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    • Scribbd@feddit.nl ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      As instructed: ‘insert thumb’.

      I don’t think I am the only one thinking inserting on a flat fragile surface means: “punch hole”.

      If it had some cavity for your thumb to be inserted in it would make more sense.

      “Grip corner and lift”?

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  • garretble@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I got a different brand of Mac and cheese once and it opened right up using the same instructions.

    I feel like the name brand is just messing with people.

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  • Diabolo96@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    The Weaklings must be sacrificed to the pit of fire.

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  • MonsiuerPatEBrown@reddthat.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    You aren’t supposed to use your thumb.

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    • magnetosphere@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      An unsettling yet plausible interpretation

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  • sin_free_for_00_days@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I have pretty strong thumbs and generally just end up tearing off most of the top and being pissed at the stupid design.

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    • Dave@lemmy.nz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I thought that’s how it was supposed to work?

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  • ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Here’s the CEO of a company on national television showing off his company’s new packaging design. The instructions are to mess with you. Even CEOs can’t open their own damn products.

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    • AcornCarnage@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      No way that’s real.

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  • poopsmith@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    How is this mac? I’ve never had it, but I love (and hate) the Kraft stuff.

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    • Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Used to love kraft dinner. Til the big change. The one where their advertising campaign was that no one even noticed… Can’t stand it any more. Probably for the best, we used to eat a certainly unhealthy amount before. Like 3-4 meals a week, whether lunch or part of supper.

      It just tastes like burnt cheddar now. Looked all over for a replacement, saw so many people claiming other products or recipes that taste “just like” the old KD. There are none. Those people are wrong. Either they are unwittingly non-tasters and thus unable to factor that into their endorsements, or they are aware they are wrong but are hoping to sell a product anyway.

      There is no substitute, it will never be what it was, we have to accept it will never be again. And hopefully with it out of our lives, it will eventually find it’s way out of our minds. Can only console myself knowing that it was basically a drug that I probably am better off without… but man was it ever a good drug. Just a box full of comfort, with no immediate downside. I would probably invite it right back if I ever did exist again…

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      • asteriskeverything@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Lol I relate to your love of a comfort garbage Mac and cheese AND unhealthy consumption of it.

        Curious how long ago it was and if you ever tried the kraft thick and creamy? I don’t really eat much of it anymore but we always have that on hand for in case we want a frozen chicken strips + side kinda lazy night.

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    • Death2lois@lemmy.one ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Creamier, I think it has more cheese products and even less cheese. I like it though for something quick and easy.

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  • theodewere@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    no kidding the last box of mac'n'cheese i opened, that was the TOUGHEST spot on the box, i just ripped the lid off

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  • iforgotmyinstance@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Do you bite or trim your nails pretty far down?

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    • dm_me_your_boobs@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Is the latter weird? Cause I don’t care for those white bits at the end.

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      • Brunbrun6766@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Yeah they taste funny

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  • Coreidan@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    You have to grunt while you’re doing it like in karate.

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    • AcornCarnage@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Ahhh. See, I usually couple my attempts with something like “you God damned piece of fucking shit just fucking open why do they even put these stupid fucking things on here.” I’ll try just grunting though.

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      • Coreidan@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        See that’s your problem. Too many syllables. You need one swift grunt to concentrate all your energy.

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  • CaptObvious@literature.cafe ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I keep a knife handy just for the satisfaction of stabbing these annoying boxes. It’s rather cathartic.

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    • AcornCarnage@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Haha. Now that you mention it, I only reach for a knife when they really piss me off. Usually I just open it like a normal box.

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  • bernieecclestoned@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    What sort of lift are you inserting?

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    • JustAManOnAToilet@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      The ones Bernie put in his shoes before being seen in public. They clearly don’t help anyone.

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  • systemglitch@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I just started doing one stab with a knife years ago and never looked back.

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